On the flight to Sydney now. Looking forward to the next 2 weeks but realize it’s going to be a constant push outside of my comfort zone. That’s fine, there 14 days are really necessary for improvement. I’m definitely excited to gain some good experience and to have some fun ☺.
Our last night in Bali was pretty worthwhile. Was able to make it up to seduction with a pretty cute HB7, and M closed some girl. The first half of the night was pretty uneventful, with a few sets opened, so I’ll jump right into the FR:
Set A
Actually didn’t have to really open this one. She made eye contact, held and inched her way over. I’m pretty sure I ‘opened’ with “you’re Australian aren’t you,” with her responding, “no American!” Instant commonality there… there are hardly any Americans in Bali.
She asks where I’m from, I make her guess… she guesses Australian (wtf?), but when we establish we’re both from the States it transitions nicely into a conversation of “which part etc…” Normally this would be AFC talk, but given the circumstances, it didn’t’ seem so in this instance.
We’re on the dance floor and I bring up how Aussies dance differently and don’t grind. Start grinding with her… makes things so much easier, the Aussies really dropped the ball when they were learning how to dance. In any case, ask her what she’s doing in Bali – apparently she’s just finished studying abroad and she’s vacationing a bit before heading back home.
M comes by and says he’s leaving but to stay, and HB7s friend goes off to find a friend. Took that as an IOI, so pretty much assumed attraction, which was reinforced by how she was dancing. Don’t remember exactly, but I’m pretty sure I move her to a different part of the dance floor, qualify her with Boring/Crazy.
She’s wearing a hat, I tease her in saying that it looks like a farmer’s hat, take it off to “see if she’s cute,” put it on my head, touch her hair, look into her eyes then close the K. Unlike the set from the previous post, this K close was pretty much cake because we were grinding… the kino from that is a natural buildup in itself.
From there, I try to move her to the lower level of the club, but she has to find her friend. We find her friend, dance with her friend and some guy she’s found for a bit, and then her friend goes off again!
Move onto comfort and start with Truth Questions. From there I transition into the Cube, using one of my questions to ask if she’s ever been “cubed before.” Should not ethat during Truth Questions, she was the one who turned it sexual. My first question was what was one thing she would change about herself (she wanted to be taller), and her first question was asking the most number of girls I’ve hooked up with in one night. Other questions moved on into the craziest place she’s had sex (she said something about her grandparent’s place, but I couldn’t hear), and I pumped a bit more qualification by asking her 3 best qualities. She takes the time to respond with legitimate answers… makes sense, even the toughest qualification questions should close at this point.
Rest of the club interaction is pretty standard… moving her around, dancing (used M’s pick-up move at one point), and when she realizes its 4:10 she says she needs to get going. Btw, her friend has left without her! Talk about the ideal 2-set.
Walk back with her, turns out her place is right next to where we’re staying. I lose it in seduction… We get to her place, kiss for a bit and I ask her if she wants to come up to my place. OOPS! Pretty much knew I was making that mistake… Anyway, she “thinks about it” and then declines. I realize it’s not happening so I just release all the sexual tension with a big makeout session, finger bang her a bit and then close out the night.
Overview
HB7 was good practice and the girl was pretty cute, short with blonde curly hair and light blue/gray eyes. To be honest though, it was pretty much handed over on a silver platter – girl opened me, her “obstacle” ended up being more like a wing, and attraction was pretty much there from the very start.
Some things I could have done better: I think a more diverse range of kino could have been run after the K-close. Also tried the pick-up move for the first time, but it could have lasted longer and been transitioned into a bit better.
Also think I might have kissed too many times while in the venue. All in all, probably less than 20 seconds total in the club (no makeout session), but I should have left it at the K-close and then just towards the end of the night.
Also think I lingered in the club too long. When we were looking for her friend and couldn’t find her, I should have realized that she might have already left. Would have been better if I had pulled her out of the club at that point, instead of sticking around until she decided that she needed to go back.
Definitely messed up seduction too. If I had left early, should have brought up an excuse to bring her up, and then to have just led her instead of asking if she wanted to come up. Maybe could have thrown her in the pool and then asked to come up to get a towel (actually thought about throwing her in the pool, but decided against it since it was so late).
Given that it was so late and that her place was right next to ours, it still wouldn’t have been hard in any case though. It’s alright though, it was fun and I had a good time hanging out with her – Not a bad way to close out Bali and start the gaming session in Australia!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Bali (12/16 - Weds)
Been in Bali for about 3 days now. We’ve been going around doing the touristy things for the most part. So far we’ve been parasailing, snorkeling, surfing, getting massages (clean ones!) amongst other things. Though its been a lot of fun, as we sort of expected, hasn’t been the best place to work on game.
Nonetheless, we’ve been making an effort to go out at night to the clubs around the area. There are a ton of Australians and quite a few Swedes here on vacation. I would guess that there are less than 20 American tourists on the entire island compared to the hundreds of other Westerners. In summary, the Australians love our American accents and California, and the Swedes are just fuckin bombshells.
Anyway, had the first legitimate set tonight. A learning experience but also a bit of a frustrating experience as well. Took place at the main club on the island, Bounty and the neighboring club next to it.
Set 1
We had met an Australian dude a couple days before and when we walked into the club, noticed he was part of a mixed set with one pretty cute girl in it, HB7. We re-opened him later in the night and he introduced us to the group, point out the fact that we were American, which they instantly opened up to. Counting, this has been the 3rd time being from California has automatically opened the set.
We’re chatting in the set and one of the obstacles brings over the HB7 and says “speak.” I say… “speak…” and they go “American!” and I’m in. Peer approval and the accent as a DHV from the very start.
The group moves to another area of the club seated at a table and I’m chatting with the HB7. It’s pretty much just banter (i.e. talking about things to do in Australia etc…) and the HB7 gets called over to the neighboring table, where M is seated. I join, but logistically, she ends up on the other side of the table.
From the opposite side of the table, I “notice” that her index finger is longer than her ring and point it out. She goes… “what’s wrong with that?” and I transition into the ring routine, moving over next to her as I come to explain it.
After the ring routine notice instantly the the dynamic of the conversation has changed. Cold reads are crazy…. I’d forgotten the power of a properly planted routine. From there move on to qualifying her using the adventurous/boring and following it up with the cold read that she seems like a bit of both.
She says she wants to move to NY at some point, and I relate and qualify her again asking her what she has to bring to the States, transitioning into what her 3 best qualities are. The question hooks and I get legitimate answers.
By now, she is clearly attracted – her friends have moved and she is still mini-isolated with me and in pretty close proximity. She’s even qualifying herself, asking me if she’s fun or if I think she’s a bitch (rooted from another conversation about her going to an all girls school and everyone being a bitch).
M comes by and tells me to go for the k-close. I DON’T DO IT!!!! Big mistake, this one fucked me. The set moves to the club next door and I’m able to completely isolate her – at this point, compliance is pretty much 100% and I’m able to lead her outside. I still don’t k-close her, and go into comfort using the truth questions game. Questions are good, but missed the K and she gets bored and says “let’s go back and dance.” Boom! Game over…
The rest is history. I try, with the help of M, to re-engage and isolate to just go for the K but it’s staled out – I have officially landed in the LJBF zone. After 2-3 more tries we let the set go and leave.
Overview
I’m actually really fuckin frustrated. It’s one of the first times there’s been a girl that I would have been happy to hook up with – as opposed to just good practice – and I didn’t close when I needed to. Moreover, I knew what I should have been doing but I didn’t be a fuckin man and just gone for it like I should have.
Seems to be the second time this lesson is coming up the hard way: close the K when the window of opportunity arises, otherwise it’ll close and you’ll fall into LBFJ. I’m almost to the point of saying it’s not worth going into the comfort without having closed the K.
On the plus side, I was able to go through the progression model (minus opening), and was able to transition a banter conversation into the emotional model (starting with the finger length routine).
I’M STILL PISSED I DIDN’T GO FOR THE K!!!!!!!!! There was NO excuse. I’ll learn some k-close routines that might give more flexibility, but I’m pretty sure it’s just an inner game issue of just being a fuckin man and expressing sexual intent. I knew what to do, I just needed to fuckin just do it.
My goal by the time I leave Australia on 1/3 is to be able to open consistently and run through the model up until the K can be closed consistently when the opportunity presents itself. Otherwise, I’m letting myself down and wasting my and M’s time.
I need just take a risk… this roots deeper to just game, it’s about being a man.
Routines
Will be using these routines as a base:
Attraction
- Finger length routine
- Eyebrow routine
- You’re probably pretty cool…
Qualification
- Boring/Adventurous -> Bit of both cold read
- 3 best qualities
Comfort
- Strawberry fields
- Truth questions
o Mom, Grandma & Jesus
o Spontaneous
o One thing change about yourself
***Keep push-pull kino and hair touching consistently.
Nonetheless, we’ve been making an effort to go out at night to the clubs around the area. There are a ton of Australians and quite a few Swedes here on vacation. I would guess that there are less than 20 American tourists on the entire island compared to the hundreds of other Westerners. In summary, the Australians love our American accents and California, and the Swedes are just fuckin bombshells.
Anyway, had the first legitimate set tonight. A learning experience but also a bit of a frustrating experience as well. Took place at the main club on the island, Bounty and the neighboring club next to it.
Set 1
We had met an Australian dude a couple days before and when we walked into the club, noticed he was part of a mixed set with one pretty cute girl in it, HB7. We re-opened him later in the night and he introduced us to the group, point out the fact that we were American, which they instantly opened up to. Counting, this has been the 3rd time being from California has automatically opened the set.
We’re chatting in the set and one of the obstacles brings over the HB7 and says “speak.” I say… “speak…” and they go “American!” and I’m in. Peer approval and the accent as a DHV from the very start.
The group moves to another area of the club seated at a table and I’m chatting with the HB7. It’s pretty much just banter (i.e. talking about things to do in Australia etc…) and the HB7 gets called over to the neighboring table, where M is seated. I join, but logistically, she ends up on the other side of the table.
From the opposite side of the table, I “notice” that her index finger is longer than her ring and point it out. She goes… “what’s wrong with that?” and I transition into the ring routine, moving over next to her as I come to explain it.
After the ring routine notice instantly the the dynamic of the conversation has changed. Cold reads are crazy…. I’d forgotten the power of a properly planted routine. From there move on to qualifying her using the adventurous/boring and following it up with the cold read that she seems like a bit of both.
She says she wants to move to NY at some point, and I relate and qualify her again asking her what she has to bring to the States, transitioning into what her 3 best qualities are. The question hooks and I get legitimate answers.
By now, she is clearly attracted – her friends have moved and she is still mini-isolated with me and in pretty close proximity. She’s even qualifying herself, asking me if she’s fun or if I think she’s a bitch (rooted from another conversation about her going to an all girls school and everyone being a bitch).
M comes by and tells me to go for the k-close. I DON’T DO IT!!!! Big mistake, this one fucked me. The set moves to the club next door and I’m able to completely isolate her – at this point, compliance is pretty much 100% and I’m able to lead her outside. I still don’t k-close her, and go into comfort using the truth questions game. Questions are good, but missed the K and she gets bored and says “let’s go back and dance.” Boom! Game over…
The rest is history. I try, with the help of M, to re-engage and isolate to just go for the K but it’s staled out – I have officially landed in the LJBF zone. After 2-3 more tries we let the set go and leave.
Overview
I’m actually really fuckin frustrated. It’s one of the first times there’s been a girl that I would have been happy to hook up with – as opposed to just good practice – and I didn’t close when I needed to. Moreover, I knew what I should have been doing but I didn’t be a fuckin man and just gone for it like I should have.
Seems to be the second time this lesson is coming up the hard way: close the K when the window of opportunity arises, otherwise it’ll close and you’ll fall into LBFJ. I’m almost to the point of saying it’s not worth going into the comfort without having closed the K.
On the plus side, I was able to go through the progression model (minus opening), and was able to transition a banter conversation into the emotional model (starting with the finger length routine).
I’M STILL PISSED I DIDN’T GO FOR THE K!!!!!!!!! There was NO excuse. I’ll learn some k-close routines that might give more flexibility, but I’m pretty sure it’s just an inner game issue of just being a fuckin man and expressing sexual intent. I knew what to do, I just needed to fuckin just do it.
My goal by the time I leave Australia on 1/3 is to be able to open consistently and run through the model up until the K can be closed consistently when the opportunity presents itself. Otherwise, I’m letting myself down and wasting my and M’s time.
I need just take a risk… this roots deeper to just game, it’s about being a man.
Routines
Will be using these routines as a base:
Attraction
- Finger length routine
- Eyebrow routine
- You’re probably pretty cool…
Qualification
- Boring/Adventurous -> Bit of both cold read
- 3 best qualities
Comfort
- Strawberry fields
- Truth questions
o Mom, Grandma & Jesus
o Spontaneous
o One thing change about yourself
***Keep push-pull kino and hair touching consistently.
Hong Kong (12/12 - Sat)
So we spent our last day in Hong Kong yesterday. Day consisted primarily of heading to Monkok in the afternoon. Mongkok is one of the densest metropolitan areas in the world, and is usually what is shown of Hong Kong on most of the travel channels. Imagine packed streets with night markets, street vendors and all kinds of Asian things. M got a kick out of it and I thought it was pretty cool too – definitely a good stop.
When we were waiting for the ferry heading to Mongkok (we were staying on one of the outskirt islands), M points out a mixed set also waiting on a bench and directs me towards it. By the time I get over there, it’s just a 2-set, with a guy and a girl.
Set 1
The girl is pretty cute, HB7. Me and M start conversation next to the set on the bench then I turn over my shoulder and open the guy. He’s wearing a shirt with a “STAFF” printed on the sleeve and I ask him what it’s for. Turns out they’re all elementary school teachers teaching at the Hong Kong international school.
After a few minutes of banter, more of their group comes and it ends up being a relatievely large group ~6-7-set with 4 girls and ~3 guys. M has one of the girls mini-isolated and I’m talking to about ~3-4 others in the group. Conversation goes well and we all head on the ferry.
On the ferry I sit one row up and M is on the row behind wedged between two of the girls, the original HB7 and her HB7.5 friend. He mini-isolates the HB7.5 and I’m chatting with the HB7 and the rest of the group. They actually all turn out to be really fun to talk to and it’s pretty clear they have some kink in them. I can only imagine how much pent out sex drive they’ve got going on.
As we’re getting off the ferry, me and M switch; he walks with the HB7 and I pair up with the HB7.5. Interesting point is that I crack a pretty funny joke coming off the ferry, and you can distinctly see the shift in dynamic of my interaction with the HB7.5 after. Humor really is a strong attraction tool.
In any case, I’m running some kino escalation at this point, though I accidentally skip into building comfort instead of qualification. While I meant to ask “so you’ve lived here for a bit… how has Hong Kong grown you as a person?” I ended up asking “so could you see yourself living here for good? Why?”
We have to part ways once we hit the subway, but they invite us out with them later. We end up doing the Mongkok thing then have to rush back to pack for our early morning flight the next day. As seems to be the trend, didn’t really see many set opportunities since then.
On the plane heading to Bali now, wish us luck!
Overview
I felt the set was positive. I could definitely feel myself getting back into the swing of things during the conversation; the conversation flowed much more easily and I saw myself tossing in teases and building kino again. Another thing I noticed was that I actually felt more of a desire to hook up with the girls this time – not sure if its because they were teachers ;). In any case, this made the interaction a lot more fun. I should keep this “oh the things I would do to you…” mindset going while interacting with future sets.
Another thing is that even with the few sets, opening in the daytime is seeming a lot more natural now and I see less hesitancy in myself about doing it. Then again, we are traveling and are fellow foreigners in foreign countries, so there is automatically some semblance of a connection, or at the very least a conversation point. In any case, there’s improvement nonetheless.
Mindsets
1.) Opening: Keep a positive mindset and think of the potentially opportunity and what the set could be, instead of negative apolocyptic thoughts.
2.) Attraction forward: Keep a sexual mindset and keep thinking about the naughty things you would do to this poor girl.
When we were waiting for the ferry heading to Mongkok (we were staying on one of the outskirt islands), M points out a mixed set also waiting on a bench and directs me towards it. By the time I get over there, it’s just a 2-set, with a guy and a girl.
Set 1
The girl is pretty cute, HB7. Me and M start conversation next to the set on the bench then I turn over my shoulder and open the guy. He’s wearing a shirt with a “STAFF” printed on the sleeve and I ask him what it’s for. Turns out they’re all elementary school teachers teaching at the Hong Kong international school.
After a few minutes of banter, more of their group comes and it ends up being a relatievely large group ~6-7-set with 4 girls and ~3 guys. M has one of the girls mini-isolated and I’m talking to about ~3-4 others in the group. Conversation goes well and we all head on the ferry.
On the ferry I sit one row up and M is on the row behind wedged between two of the girls, the original HB7 and her HB7.5 friend. He mini-isolates the HB7.5 and I’m chatting with the HB7 and the rest of the group. They actually all turn out to be really fun to talk to and it’s pretty clear they have some kink in them. I can only imagine how much pent out sex drive they’ve got going on.
As we’re getting off the ferry, me and M switch; he walks with the HB7 and I pair up with the HB7.5. Interesting point is that I crack a pretty funny joke coming off the ferry, and you can distinctly see the shift in dynamic of my interaction with the HB7.5 after. Humor really is a strong attraction tool.
In any case, I’m running some kino escalation at this point, though I accidentally skip into building comfort instead of qualification. While I meant to ask “so you’ve lived here for a bit… how has Hong Kong grown you as a person?” I ended up asking “so could you see yourself living here for good? Why?”
We have to part ways once we hit the subway, but they invite us out with them later. We end up doing the Mongkok thing then have to rush back to pack for our early morning flight the next day. As seems to be the trend, didn’t really see many set opportunities since then.
On the plane heading to Bali now, wish us luck!
Overview
I felt the set was positive. I could definitely feel myself getting back into the swing of things during the conversation; the conversation flowed much more easily and I saw myself tossing in teases and building kino again. Another thing I noticed was that I actually felt more of a desire to hook up with the girls this time – not sure if its because they were teachers ;). In any case, this made the interaction a lot more fun. I should keep this “oh the things I would do to you…” mindset going while interacting with future sets.
Another thing is that even with the few sets, opening in the daytime is seeming a lot more natural now and I see less hesitancy in myself about doing it. Then again, we are traveling and are fellow foreigners in foreign countries, so there is automatically some semblance of a connection, or at the very least a conversation point. In any case, there’s improvement nonetheless.
Mindsets
1.) Opening: Keep a positive mindset and think of the potentially opportunity and what the set could be, instead of negative apolocyptic thoughts.
2.) Attraction forward: Keep a sexual mindset and keep thinking about the naughty things you would do to this poor girl.
Friday, December 11, 2009
I'm in Hong Kong Bitch! (12/12 - Fri)
Me and M have been in Hong Kong since Wednesday (12/9). We've been staying in hostels and couch surfing, staying in Fortress Hill (hostel) on the first night and on Lamma Island (couchsurfing) since. We've been doing touristy/touring in the day, while trying to go out at night.
So far been out about 2 times, the first to Wan Chai and the second to Lan Kwai Fong.
Wan Chai (Night 1)
So we land at 11pm on Wednesday night and head out of our hostel around 1am. Head to a night spot recommendation, "Wan Chai," which is a few stops over. After walking around and getting some food, M points us into a "club" of which some mid-age lady and two girls in their early 20s are coaxing us in. Interesting... Well, we get in and it is painfully obvious the girls are hooking and the mid-age lady is none other than their madam.
We're just screwing with them and M tries setting a frame calling her a pushy girl (their kino escalation is really aggressive) and she responds with "whhaaaatt?!?" Lesson learned: frames don't work on Filipino hookers who don't understand English :). We get out of the hook house, wander around a bit more, get opened by more hookers, meet a "professional" Aussie cricket player then bail home around 4am.
Nothing special to say the least...
Lan Kwai Fong (Night 2)
Head out the second night to Lan Kwai Fong which ends up being the "actual" night spot of Hong Kong. It consists of a winding street or two, full of bars and such. Hookers are still there, but less so amongst a crowd of primarily younger people, local Chinese, expats and tourists.
To be honest, there were a lot of people and the venues were cool, but there weren't a lot of sets. Wasn't too interested in meeting the local Chinese and there weren't many expats/tourists around. From around 12am - 4am, ended up spending the night with a group of 3 American girls (ironic?) who were studying abroad, as well as an Aussie we'd randomly met (Set 1).
Set 1
We notice a mixed set of 1 guy and 3 American girls (a HB8, HB6 and her sister HB5) -- essentially one cute girl and her two not-so-cute friends.
M opens the girls by dancing into their group with a crazy dance and playing “peek-a-boo” behind the guy in the set. Girls eat it up and are really receptive. He starts chatting up the group, focusing primarily on the HB6 (for good reason), and then I merge myself into the set. The group bounces from the venue and asks us to go with them.
Not wanting to be too clingy, we tell them we’ll meet up with them in a bit knowing they’re not going very far. About 20 minutes later, we “stumble” into them at another lounge and re-open.
M texts in my phone to focus on the cute girl while he’ll juggle the rest of the social situation. He first kept the guy occupied, leaving the girls open for me to talk to. The HB6 is clearly interested in M -- her IOIs are off the chart. Luckily, he realizes one of the Australians we had randomly met was interested in the HB6, and he began merging them together.
From my peripheral hearing, I could hear M introducing DHV stories about the Australian, running the photo routine on them, and going as far as to pump her buying temperature himself before passing her on to him. This served two purposes: 1.) M wouldn’t have to deal with the not-so-cute girl, and 2.) I’d have the opportunity to mini-isolate and work on the HB8.
For my set, I noticed that I came into the set without the strongest body language or sub communication and had trouble building attraction. Having not been able to focus on game for a couple weeks, I noticed definite regression and a slight wondering of “what do I say next.”
Another thing I noticed was that in my most successful sets over the past couple months, I’ve been able to build attraction through sub communication and teasing, leaving it open to jump straight into qualification. This time, it obviously didn’t work and my qualification pings weren’t coming back very well.
I have M take over the HB8 for a demonstration. During a group photo, he picks her up (literally) and spins her around, sending her buying temperature through the roof. I could literally see the confusion/attraction in her face when she was let down. I’ve seen this same kind of look in the various other girls he’s done this move on over the past couple months, and it seems to work like a charm. From there, she was clearly into him.
Over the course of the next 20-30 minutes, I overhear the HB8 trying to get M to put his number into her phone 3 separate times, for which he politely declines. I later ask him why he declined and he explained that he wanted to stay perceived as the selector and that he already had her friends number to set up the day-2. Being abroad students, the girls always traveled in the same group, and there was no purpose to closing the number in this specific situation -- especially if there was such a high chance of seeing them again in the future if we wanted to.
About 1/2 hour later the girls have to leave; the HB6’s sister gets sick and they have to take care of her. At this point, it's around 4am and our night concludes.
M teaches me some of the lifting routines (physically picking up the girl) since, and I’m pretty excited to try them out over the next couple weeks.
Set Counter
I have a running set counter going for the trip. Currently the count is at 5, all of which have been pretty miscellaneous (girls at airport, at restaurants), and nothing too special. This too should shoot up in quality and quantity over the next few weeks.
Focus
The first segment that's going to be focused on in the coming week or so will primarily be opening-attraction. I'll post the material being used and how the progress is going over the next week.
Executive Decision: Hong Kong
Hong Kong overall hasn't been too great for game. Everyone for the most part is Chinese, and it's not the best opportunity to open set after set after set. We're leaving for Bali tomorrow, which will hopefully be better. Definitely not blaming everything on the location though; there was definitely a readjustment period to get into the swing of things.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
World Tour... sort of
Finalizing plans for a 2 month trip to the other side of the world, departing in a week. Will be traveling for the most part with M, and have some pretty high aspirations for the next couple months. While it'll be great to be traveling, there are bigger motives at work here. Needless to say, there will be plenty of game alongside broader goals of massive, life-changing self-improvement.
In fact, I refuse to come back to the States unless I'm a changed person with significant improvement in my game.
Hong Kong: 1/2 week
Bali, Indonesia: 1 week
Sydney, Australia: 1 week
Melbourne, Australia: 1 week
Thailand/Laos/Cambodia: 2 weeks
Penang/Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: 1 week
Oslo, Norway: 1 week
Hanoi, Vietnam: 1 week
Should make for some interesting blogs :).
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Pre-Thanksgiving (11/25 - Wed)
Home for Thanksgiving and it feels great. Nothing like seeing old friends and being around family… the cookings pretty sweet too to say the least :).
Went out last night to a local bar and was able to really get a gauge of how much I’ve improved in the past couple months. To be honest, haven’t even really gone out that much to game (maybe ~6 times in the past couple months). What I have done though is hang out a lot with M, while interacting with a number of girls. Through that, it seems that to an extent, I’ve inadvertently soaked up his subcommunications and style of rapore. Still a long way to go, but my skill set is getting noticeably better.
More importantly, the improvement in these few outings should be indicative of what’s to come in these upcoming 7 months of real intense game and self-improvement (especially the next 2 months ☺).
Set 1
So went out to a local bar with a childhood friend, and was introduced shortly after to a 4-set, one of which was a mutual friend. My friend, who would be the best exemplification of how not to wing, introduces me as a pedophile! It’s not even a quick introduction, he carries it on for a good ~30 seconds.
One of the girls, a HB6.5, responds to it and I immediately set the frame (not doing so would have been the death of that set).
(First I buy into the joke)
Me: “yeahh, you know me, better watch out.”
(Shortly after she says)
HB6.5: “no, I don’t really think you’re a pedophile.”
Me: “Yeahh, don’t know what that’d say about you if you really did think so”
(She laughs)
Score, saved that one. Earlier it had been brought up that she went to school down in SoCal, so I immediately transition into asking her if she’s learned how to surf. She starts talking about how she skates instead, and qualifying by saying how everything you can do on a surfboard you can do on a skateboard. Her set then moves and I naturally eject.
About 20-30 minutes later, my anti-wing brings up that the girl I was talking to and this other girl are probably the cutest girls in this dive (at least in his opinion). I tell him that I’m going to use the restroom, and that when I come back, I’m taking one of them down.
Get back from the restroom, and see a mutual friend sitting next to the HB6.5 and her group of friends with an open spot. Sit down and start talking to my friend. I’m wearing a fur-hooded jacket, and the HB6.5 and her friend actually open me! They pull my hood over my head (IOI), and I improvise off it somehow, and have them laughing seconds later.
Turn my body language to the HB6.5 and start talking to her. Get the feeling there’s sufficient attraction (built through subcommunications and boosting buying-temp by getting her laughing), so I start qualifying. Run Crazy/Boring Person (turns out the craziest thing she’s done has been in jail for getting blacked out), which leads to more rapore. I reward/relate by telling her she seems like a fun person too, and that we need to party. She says she can see me being the crazy type too (IOI).
I qualify further by asking her the 3 ways that SoCal has made her better, then I pick one and tell her I can see that (her developing a sense of fashion). Turns out okay and we relate a bit about how people in SoCal have more style but people in NorCal are more down to earth. Then she flips the set of questions and catches me a bit off guard a bit (whoops).
During my 3 questions, my anti-wing comes in and starts asking everyone in the group if they’re good on drinks, or if they want any drinks (I don’t think I’ve ever pulled something as AFC even at my worst… the whole fucking group???).
At some point, I call her out for being crass about something and she sheepishly apologizes and laughs (IOI).
At another point, I also run a couple cold-reads; one in which I say that it seems like she is a person with a strong external shell but actually sensitive inside. Worked out well. Also complimented her that she seems like someone that would really stand up for her friends, and that I like that.
After the qualification questions, I start running comfort; beginning with Anywhere in the World, and an immaculate transition into Strawberry Fields (noticed the decoration planters looked like strawberry planters ☺). She eats Strawberry Fields up… it was completely accurate.
We talk about SoCal some more, and I time bridge it by saying that she needs to really show me a good time if I come down, and number close her. Earlier, she had asked for my name (IOI), and I ran Stripper Name, for which she was Frodo and I was Amber. Worked out great for the number close.
Beyond the number close, we run into each other a few times again and get some more time in isolation, at one point she jumps on my back to show me how she would attack someone (IOI), but am not sure if any of this is really helping the cause. By the time comfort was through, I get the feeling it would have been best to isolate and close, or to just leave.
Overview
One thing I noticed throughout the set is that I could see a lot of the subtext, at least more so than I usually can. It was almost as though I could see the attraction building up within her by her body language, facial expressions and reaction to kino; it was actually a beautiful thing to observe. Conversely, I felt my body language and facial expressions were much more controlled (for the most part). I could also feel my confidence being conveyed to her through my eye-contact/body language, and could tell the effect that it was having.
Another really important thing I noticed is that I’m really getting over the major major sticking point I had of not knowing what to say next. That is, I’m able to improvise the conversation much better, which allows for improved rapore between routines, and this has been invaluable. To be honest, it’s tough to pinpoint where the turning point for this was, but I believe it’s a combination of having interacted with more new girls, following the 5-minute plow rule, and observing M’s interactions over the past couple months. In any case, things have improved tremendously because of this.
I think I may have lost it post the number close, when we were in the same area and running into each other (texted her at the end of the night and never heard back). I actually ended up talking / in isolation with some of her friends, which I’m not sure how that’s viewed. Ultimately though, there was a dead period where there was no escalation. Part of this had to do with my being conscious that she was in a semi-related social circle, and that a bad result of isolating/escalating to a k-close would have more far reaching effects.
This is probably my first set with complete fluidity from open to comfort, and I’m pretty sure I could have pulled off a k-close. Number closes seem to come pretty easily now(as long as there’s some semblance of attraction/qualification), and as a result, are starting to lose their thrill…
Questions
1.) Post the ~5 minutes after the number close, is it positive/negative to re-open the set? What if you’re in near proximity to hear throughout the night?
2.) If you’re already in qualification/comfort, what effect does doing a takeaway on her friend have? Could it be seen as positive, as you’re begin accepted by her peer group, or does it take away the special feeling of your interaction with the target. That is, does she see you interacting with her friend in isolation and begin to think that you’re that way with everyone.
Went out last night to a local bar and was able to really get a gauge of how much I’ve improved in the past couple months. To be honest, haven’t even really gone out that much to game (maybe ~6 times in the past couple months). What I have done though is hang out a lot with M, while interacting with a number of girls. Through that, it seems that to an extent, I’ve inadvertently soaked up his subcommunications and style of rapore. Still a long way to go, but my skill set is getting noticeably better.
More importantly, the improvement in these few outings should be indicative of what’s to come in these upcoming 7 months of real intense game and self-improvement (especially the next 2 months ☺).
Set 1
So went out to a local bar with a childhood friend, and was introduced shortly after to a 4-set, one of which was a mutual friend. My friend, who would be the best exemplification of how not to wing, introduces me as a pedophile! It’s not even a quick introduction, he carries it on for a good ~30 seconds.
One of the girls, a HB6.5, responds to it and I immediately set the frame (not doing so would have been the death of that set).
(First I buy into the joke)
Me: “yeahh, you know me, better watch out.”
(Shortly after she says)
HB6.5: “no, I don’t really think you’re a pedophile.”
Me: “Yeahh, don’t know what that’d say about you if you really did think so”
(She laughs)
Score, saved that one. Earlier it had been brought up that she went to school down in SoCal, so I immediately transition into asking her if she’s learned how to surf. She starts talking about how she skates instead, and qualifying by saying how everything you can do on a surfboard you can do on a skateboard. Her set then moves and I naturally eject.
About 20-30 minutes later, my anti-wing brings up that the girl I was talking to and this other girl are probably the cutest girls in this dive (at least in his opinion). I tell him that I’m going to use the restroom, and that when I come back, I’m taking one of them down.
Get back from the restroom, and see a mutual friend sitting next to the HB6.5 and her group of friends with an open spot. Sit down and start talking to my friend. I’m wearing a fur-hooded jacket, and the HB6.5 and her friend actually open me! They pull my hood over my head (IOI), and I improvise off it somehow, and have them laughing seconds later.
Turn my body language to the HB6.5 and start talking to her. Get the feeling there’s sufficient attraction (built through subcommunications and boosting buying-temp by getting her laughing), so I start qualifying. Run Crazy/Boring Person (turns out the craziest thing she’s done has been in jail for getting blacked out), which leads to more rapore. I reward/relate by telling her she seems like a fun person too, and that we need to party. She says she can see me being the crazy type too (IOI).
I qualify further by asking her the 3 ways that SoCal has made her better, then I pick one and tell her I can see that (her developing a sense of fashion). Turns out okay and we relate a bit about how people in SoCal have more style but people in NorCal are more down to earth. Then she flips the set of questions and catches me a bit off guard a bit (whoops).
During my 3 questions, my anti-wing comes in and starts asking everyone in the group if they’re good on drinks, or if they want any drinks (I don’t think I’ve ever pulled something as AFC even at my worst… the whole fucking group???).
At some point, I call her out for being crass about something and she sheepishly apologizes and laughs (IOI).
At another point, I also run a couple cold-reads; one in which I say that it seems like she is a person with a strong external shell but actually sensitive inside. Worked out well. Also complimented her that she seems like someone that would really stand up for her friends, and that I like that.
After the qualification questions, I start running comfort; beginning with Anywhere in the World, and an immaculate transition into Strawberry Fields (noticed the decoration planters looked like strawberry planters ☺). She eats Strawberry Fields up… it was completely accurate.
We talk about SoCal some more, and I time bridge it by saying that she needs to really show me a good time if I come down, and number close her. Earlier, she had asked for my name (IOI), and I ran Stripper Name, for which she was Frodo and I was Amber. Worked out great for the number close.
Beyond the number close, we run into each other a few times again and get some more time in isolation, at one point she jumps on my back to show me how she would attack someone (IOI), but am not sure if any of this is really helping the cause. By the time comfort was through, I get the feeling it would have been best to isolate and close, or to just leave.
Overview
One thing I noticed throughout the set is that I could see a lot of the subtext, at least more so than I usually can. It was almost as though I could see the attraction building up within her by her body language, facial expressions and reaction to kino; it was actually a beautiful thing to observe. Conversely, I felt my body language and facial expressions were much more controlled (for the most part). I could also feel my confidence being conveyed to her through my eye-contact/body language, and could tell the effect that it was having.
Another really important thing I noticed is that I’m really getting over the major major sticking point I had of not knowing what to say next. That is, I’m able to improvise the conversation much better, which allows for improved rapore between routines, and this has been invaluable. To be honest, it’s tough to pinpoint where the turning point for this was, but I believe it’s a combination of having interacted with more new girls, following the 5-minute plow rule, and observing M’s interactions over the past couple months. In any case, things have improved tremendously because of this.
I think I may have lost it post the number close, when we were in the same area and running into each other (texted her at the end of the night and never heard back). I actually ended up talking / in isolation with some of her friends, which I’m not sure how that’s viewed. Ultimately though, there was a dead period where there was no escalation. Part of this had to do with my being conscious that she was in a semi-related social circle, and that a bad result of isolating/escalating to a k-close would have more far reaching effects.
This is probably my first set with complete fluidity from open to comfort, and I’m pretty sure I could have pulled off a k-close. Number closes seem to come pretty easily now(as long as there’s some semblance of attraction/qualification), and as a result, are starting to lose their thrill…
Questions
1.) Post the ~5 minutes after the number close, is it positive/negative to re-open the set? What if you’re in near proximity to hear throughout the night?
2.) If you’re already in qualification/comfort, what effect does doing a takeaway on her friend have? Could it be seen as positive, as you’re begin accepted by her peer group, or does it take away the special feeling of your interaction with the target. That is, does she see you interacting with her friend in isolation and begin to think that you’re that way with everyone.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Day-2 w/ "HB7" from 11/6 (11/22 - Sun)
Location: Venue in Marina Del Ray
Really interesting night tonight, definitely a learning experience.
Report
So had a day 2 with the "HB7" I met on (11/7), and went out to some club party (turns out she’s more of a HB6 in the light, hence the quotes). I knew from the last interaction that one of the big issues was that I had solid attraction (made it to the make-out), but lacked any qualification or comfort. Because of this, she had actually been a bit flaky throughout follow-up texts, and it definitely wasn’t a guarantee to get her to come out tonight.
In any case, I snag the date, and we meet up. I have her come by my place before the pre-party to familiarize herself with being there, in the event she comes back after the night is over. She arrives and we head to the pre-party.
Get to the pre-party, and attraction is clearly still there. Her body language is positive and she’s initiating kino (hugs, proximity within personal space, etc…). I spend a bit of time socializing with other people, maybe too much time in hindsight. In any case, things are going okay.
Get to the venue, and we start dancing shortly after. Starts out alright, and quickly warms up. I’m testing out this theory where I’m not going for the kiss until I get her back to my place, with the rationale being that I want to get her all hot and bothered by the time we’re back from the venue.
Try to isolate to run comfort, but every time we stop dancing, she starts worrying about her friend that she set up (friend’s date is blacked out), or the blacked out friend himself. One of the big obstacles throughout the night. The other obstacle is that there is another guy there that she’s been with, which also adds another layer to the social situation.
The first obstacle makes it really difficult to get her in a place to run comfort. Breaks usually lead to me socializing with other people, and then syncing up again and going back to the dance floor. Every time we’re on the dance floor, her body language is positive. Good chance I could have gone for the kiss a number of times.
Finally isolate her to the point I can run comfort. Run the truth game, and get some pretty good responses/questions out of her. Taking her back to the dance floor her body language has definitely improved, as I’m getting more direct eye contact. I’m pretty sure I could have gone in for the kiss at this point. However, I’m testing my theory to hell or high heaven…
Later on at the bar, I run strawberry fields, which works out well.
The night dwindles down and on the bus back, I’m able to run a bit more comfort on her. On the bus though, I’m noticing that the interaction may have staled out though, as her body language conveys more friendship than potential partner. I get her attention with my tattoo routine, but the dynamic is just not the same.
She declines coming back to my place at he end, which isn’t entirely surprising, and I walk her back to her place. By this point, it seems she has gotten more pushy, though I don’t really buy into any of her frames.
Overview
So a lot learned. I had gone into the night with the idea not to go for the kiss at all, because I didn’t want to kill the spark before the long bus ride home. Unfortunately, what I think happened is that the attraction staled out because the kiss didn’t happen.
In hindsight, it would have been better to have gone for the kiss, while keeping it less than 10 seconds, and then running the comfort to “stand-out” and prep her for seduction. I think the 1.5 hours of dancing with no further escalation really started to put me in the LJBF zone.
In fact, thinking back, on the bus ride back, she mentions how since her friend is blacked out, I can be one of the guys that walks her back home in the future so she doesn’t have to walk alone. At the beginning of the night, she indicates that her friend is just that, a friend. By visualizing me in that role, it’s probably indicative of where I had landed. And even though I didn’t’ buy into that frame, the fact that she was trying to imply it should be indicative of something. After all, at the beginning of the night, I’m pretty sure the reason she kept saying that he was a friend, and just that, was so that I wouldn’t get pushed away.
The lesson is to not just hold out on the kiss, but to hold out when she goes for it (i.e. turn cheek). I think making her go for it could be facilitated in the number of ways too, which I didn’t employ.
Overall, I think the general lesson is that it’s important to keep attraction pumped up, in order to prevent falling into the LJBF zone / staling out, which is exactly what I think happened. To do so, looking back, it would have been the right move to have gone for the kiss (though not making out for minutes on end).
Moreover, after thinking about it, I'm thinking that running all the comfort, in the absence of sufficient attraction (i.e. without the kiss), actually helped push me in the LJBF zone. After all, solid comfort, without attraction = gay best friend. The fact that the comfort routines (strawberry fields, truth game, tattoo routine, anywhere in the world) connected so well probably didn't help my case.
After getting feedback from M, I think another thing I learned is to swing much less… maybe 5% of the entire dance floor interaction. I think I was so excited to have picked up the skill set, that I overcompensated by using it too much. Time to tone that one down…
Another thing was I think I may have done too many takeaways during the pre-party. Should have spent more time with my date, and less talking to everyone else. The advice from M was to not be afraid to do a takeaway. However, I'm realizing that I have a tendency to overcompensate with advice, and this may have happened. Finally, I think a big thing I could have done is to have teased less.
I ran teases throughout the night, though I think it might not have been necessary. If anything, it might have hurt, with little chance of any benefit. Once attraction has been obtained (i.e. after the kiss), I think it may be only appropriate to “tease” when you’re setting a frame for something she has done. For instance, if she does something demanding, you can use a tease to call her out on it, and then to set the frame that you don't deal with brats. Otherwise, random jabs are not worth it (can’t really see any benefit at this point for it).
Good learning experience and practice, as I was able to run the routines I had set out to. However, it was frustrating not being able to close, though I can see the mistakes. Moreover, I have been in very similar situations before, where the interaction has staled out due to not having gone in for the kiss.
With regards to framing, I can think of a number of incidences where she did something that was bitchy/demanding etc... and I called her out on it, rejecting her frame, and asserting mine ("little demanding are we? not sure if I can deal with that!"). Most of the times, she actually got embarrassed when I called her out, and I was able to exit out of it playfully. The times she called me rude was when the teases/jabs came out of the blue / were uncalled for.
Another big plus is that I’m definitely seeing improvements in my overall interactions with girls. On top of that, I’m starting to see the deficiencies in game in a lot of my peers, something I didn’t notice as much of before. A looonnggg way to go, but the social dynamics are starting to become a lot more clear.
Really interesting night tonight, definitely a learning experience.
Report
So had a day 2 with the "HB7" I met on (11/7), and went out to some club party (turns out she’s more of a HB6 in the light, hence the quotes). I knew from the last interaction that one of the big issues was that I had solid attraction (made it to the make-out), but lacked any qualification or comfort. Because of this, she had actually been a bit flaky throughout follow-up texts, and it definitely wasn’t a guarantee to get her to come out tonight.
In any case, I snag the date, and we meet up. I have her come by my place before the pre-party to familiarize herself with being there, in the event she comes back after the night is over. She arrives and we head to the pre-party.
Get to the pre-party, and attraction is clearly still there. Her body language is positive and she’s initiating kino (hugs, proximity within personal space, etc…). I spend a bit of time socializing with other people, maybe too much time in hindsight. In any case, things are going okay.
Get to the venue, and we start dancing shortly after. Starts out alright, and quickly warms up. I’m testing out this theory where I’m not going for the kiss until I get her back to my place, with the rationale being that I want to get her all hot and bothered by the time we’re back from the venue.
Try to isolate to run comfort, but every time we stop dancing, she starts worrying about her friend that she set up (friend’s date is blacked out), or the blacked out friend himself. One of the big obstacles throughout the night. The other obstacle is that there is another guy there that she’s been with, which also adds another layer to the social situation.
The first obstacle makes it really difficult to get her in a place to run comfort. Breaks usually lead to me socializing with other people, and then syncing up again and going back to the dance floor. Every time we’re on the dance floor, her body language is positive. Good chance I could have gone for the kiss a number of times.
Finally isolate her to the point I can run comfort. Run the truth game, and get some pretty good responses/questions out of her. Taking her back to the dance floor her body language has definitely improved, as I’m getting more direct eye contact. I’m pretty sure I could have gone in for the kiss at this point. However, I’m testing my theory to hell or high heaven…
Later on at the bar, I run strawberry fields, which works out well.
The night dwindles down and on the bus back, I’m able to run a bit more comfort on her. On the bus though, I’m noticing that the interaction may have staled out though, as her body language conveys more friendship than potential partner. I get her attention with my tattoo routine, but the dynamic is just not the same.
She declines coming back to my place at he end, which isn’t entirely surprising, and I walk her back to her place. By this point, it seems she has gotten more pushy, though I don’t really buy into any of her frames.
Overview
So a lot learned. I had gone into the night with the idea not to go for the kiss at all, because I didn’t want to kill the spark before the long bus ride home. Unfortunately, what I think happened is that the attraction staled out because the kiss didn’t happen.
In hindsight, it would have been better to have gone for the kiss, while keeping it less than 10 seconds, and then running the comfort to “stand-out” and prep her for seduction. I think the 1.5 hours of dancing with no further escalation really started to put me in the LJBF zone.
In fact, thinking back, on the bus ride back, she mentions how since her friend is blacked out, I can be one of the guys that walks her back home in the future so she doesn’t have to walk alone. At the beginning of the night, she indicates that her friend is just that, a friend. By visualizing me in that role, it’s probably indicative of where I had landed. And even though I didn’t’ buy into that frame, the fact that she was trying to imply it should be indicative of something. After all, at the beginning of the night, I’m pretty sure the reason she kept saying that he was a friend, and just that, was so that I wouldn’t get pushed away.
The lesson is to not just hold out on the kiss, but to hold out when she goes for it (i.e. turn cheek). I think making her go for it could be facilitated in the number of ways too, which I didn’t employ.
Overall, I think the general lesson is that it’s important to keep attraction pumped up, in order to prevent falling into the LJBF zone / staling out, which is exactly what I think happened. To do so, looking back, it would have been the right move to have gone for the kiss (though not making out for minutes on end).
Moreover, after thinking about it, I'm thinking that running all the comfort, in the absence of sufficient attraction (i.e. without the kiss), actually helped push me in the LJBF zone. After all, solid comfort, without attraction = gay best friend. The fact that the comfort routines (strawberry fields, truth game, tattoo routine, anywhere in the world) connected so well probably didn't help my case.
After getting feedback from M, I think another thing I learned is to swing much less… maybe 5% of the entire dance floor interaction. I think I was so excited to have picked up the skill set, that I overcompensated by using it too much. Time to tone that one down…
Another thing was I think I may have done too many takeaways during the pre-party. Should have spent more time with my date, and less talking to everyone else. The advice from M was to not be afraid to do a takeaway. However, I'm realizing that I have a tendency to overcompensate with advice, and this may have happened. Finally, I think a big thing I could have done is to have teased less.
I ran teases throughout the night, though I think it might not have been necessary. If anything, it might have hurt, with little chance of any benefit. Once attraction has been obtained (i.e. after the kiss), I think it may be only appropriate to “tease” when you’re setting a frame for something she has done. For instance, if she does something demanding, you can use a tease to call her out on it, and then to set the frame that you don't deal with brats. Otherwise, random jabs are not worth it (can’t really see any benefit at this point for it).
Good learning experience and practice, as I was able to run the routines I had set out to. However, it was frustrating not being able to close, though I can see the mistakes. Moreover, I have been in very similar situations before, where the interaction has staled out due to not having gone in for the kiss.
With regards to framing, I can think of a number of incidences where she did something that was bitchy/demanding etc... and I called her out on it, rejecting her frame, and asserting mine ("little demanding are we? not sure if I can deal with that!"). Most of the times, she actually got embarrassed when I called her out, and I was able to exit out of it playfully. The times she called me rude was when the teases/jabs came out of the blue / were uncalled for.
Another big plus is that I’m definitely seeing improvements in my overall interactions with girls. On top of that, I’m starting to see the deficiencies in game in a lot of my peers, something I didn’t notice as much of before. A looonnggg way to go, but the social dynamics are starting to become a lot more clear.
Dance Lessons (11/15)
M brought over a friend on 11/15 and we had a first dance lesson. Learned the basics of swing, and how to incorporate into grinding. Also developed a sufficient basic grind, which is significantly better than what I was using before.
Note: Realize I've been a bit too gung-ho about this new swing skillset. Need to be spinning less in my dancing, and grinding more. Going to limit to ~2 spins at the start of the dance, and maybe a short segway after a while into the dance.
Still a lot to improve on in the dance-game, but this has definitely been a big start, which has really improved my performance on the dance floor.
Note: Realize I've been a bit too gung-ho about this new swing skillset. Need to be spinning less in my dancing, and grinding more. Going to limit to ~2 spins at the start of the dance, and maybe a short segway after a while into the dance.
Still a lot to improve on in the dance-game, but this has definitely been a big start, which has really improved my performance on the dance floor.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
INTRODUCTION
So it's 3 posts late, but here it is:
-------------------------
What’s the point of all of this?
I’ll refer to myself as “A,” and I’m a guy in his early twenties living in the City of Angels. I’ve lived a pretty successful life, having done well in almost all areas it encompasses. I’m a social guy, and have made a number of really great friends over the years. Looking back, the best times in my life have been relationship based; be it with friends, girls, family… whatever.
Physically, I’m in pretty good shape, not terrible looking and about 5’10. Academically, I’ve always done well in school and attended one of the top universities on the West Coast. Professionally, I’ve got a great job, which I’m really happy with, and which pays well, while opening a lot of doors and future opportunities. Socially, I’ve got a strong network of friends, so I don’t usually feel ‘lonely’ in the traditional sense.
It’s not all fine and dandy though. The one area in my life which I’m not happy with: girls. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a “20-year-old virgin” or a geek in need of love by any means. I’ve had girlfriends, hook-ups, same night lays, and whatever else in the years past. However, the problem is, I feel I have excelled above and beyond in every other area of my life, but I feel this is the one area where I’ve fallen short.
The problem isn’t that I’m not getting girls. It’s that I’m not getting enough girls, and girls that are up to my standards. It is both a quantity and quality issue.
Almost every girl I’ve been with in the past, I can honestly say I have never been completely content with. I’ve always told myself that I could do better, and I genuinely feel I can do better. The other parts of me consolidate a persona which is of much higher value than the girls I have been with in the past. There is also no doubt in my mind that if I apply the same perseverance and hard work that I have to the other areas in my life, that I can achieve the goals that I’m setting out for myself.
My buddy/mentor, who we'll term ‘M,’ is similar to me in many ways. Granted we came from significantly different backgrounds, we seem to have converged at the same point; meaning we are driven by many of the same factors, and with many of the same goals and intentions. He too has done well, physically, academically, socially and professionally. The difference is that he is great with girls. Absolutely great.
I will say though, that when we first met, our total package points were relatively similar. That is, if you were to assign points to the categories of academic, professional, social and physical success, our total score would have been relatively close (or close enough). It worked this way because at that point, M was great with girls (so his social points were through the roof), while his professional points were pretty much at 0. Conversely, my professional points were through the roof, while my social points (with regards to girls at least), were pretty much at 0. As they would say in accounting, it balanced.
Since we’ve met, I’ve personally worked with M for countless hours getting his professional score up to the area where mine is. It was a long, arduous process, but through hard work, perseverance and mentorship, it was hugely successful.
Now that the professional portion of M’s life has fulfilled, the tables have been turned. The new goal now is to get my social points up to score with his. Classic case of instructor turned student. Quite the symbiotic relationship.
Over the past year, I have made personal efforts to improve my “Game.” In doing so, I have indoctrinated myself with the theory of social dynamics, particularly through the framework of Love Systems (previously known as the Mystery Method), and have developed a strong fundamental understanding of social theory. However, where I fell short was in the application. Hence, one of the major goals of this process is to not only build on my understanding of social theory, but to bridge the gap between intellect and application.
The ultimate goal is to develop a deep understanding of social dynamics. As a component, that would entail being someone who is always ready to game, be it in night settings (bars, clubs, parties, the street) or in the day (at the mall, in Times Square, wherever). Consolidated with the successes in the other areas of my life, I will have achieved complete success. The full package.
So that’s the story, and here’s the journey:
-------------------------
What’s the point of all of this?
I’ll refer to myself as “A,” and I’m a guy in his early twenties living in the City of Angels. I’ve lived a pretty successful life, having done well in almost all areas it encompasses. I’m a social guy, and have made a number of really great friends over the years. Looking back, the best times in my life have been relationship based; be it with friends, girls, family… whatever.
Physically, I’m in pretty good shape, not terrible looking and about 5’10. Academically, I’ve always done well in school and attended one of the top universities on the West Coast. Professionally, I’ve got a great job, which I’m really happy with, and which pays well, while opening a lot of doors and future opportunities. Socially, I’ve got a strong network of friends, so I don’t usually feel ‘lonely’ in the traditional sense.
It’s not all fine and dandy though. The one area in my life which I’m not happy with: girls. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a “20-year-old virgin” or a geek in need of love by any means. I’ve had girlfriends, hook-ups, same night lays, and whatever else in the years past. However, the problem is, I feel I have excelled above and beyond in every other area of my life, but I feel this is the one area where I’ve fallen short.
The problem isn’t that I’m not getting girls. It’s that I’m not getting enough girls, and girls that are up to my standards. It is both a quantity and quality issue.
Almost every girl I’ve been with in the past, I can honestly say I have never been completely content with. I’ve always told myself that I could do better, and I genuinely feel I can do better. The other parts of me consolidate a persona which is of much higher value than the girls I have been with in the past. There is also no doubt in my mind that if I apply the same perseverance and hard work that I have to the other areas in my life, that I can achieve the goals that I’m setting out for myself.
My buddy/mentor, who we'll term ‘M,’ is similar to me in many ways. Granted we came from significantly different backgrounds, we seem to have converged at the same point; meaning we are driven by many of the same factors, and with many of the same goals and intentions. He too has done well, physically, academically, socially and professionally. The difference is that he is great with girls. Absolutely great.
I will say though, that when we first met, our total package points were relatively similar. That is, if you were to assign points to the categories of academic, professional, social and physical success, our total score would have been relatively close (or close enough). It worked this way because at that point, M was great with girls (so his social points were through the roof), while his professional points were pretty much at 0. Conversely, my professional points were through the roof, while my social points (with regards to girls at least), were pretty much at 0. As they would say in accounting, it balanced.
Since we’ve met, I’ve personally worked with M for countless hours getting his professional score up to the area where mine is. It was a long, arduous process, but through hard work, perseverance and mentorship, it was hugely successful.
Now that the professional portion of M’s life has fulfilled, the tables have been turned. The new goal now is to get my social points up to score with his. Classic case of instructor turned student. Quite the symbiotic relationship.
Over the past year, I have made personal efforts to improve my “Game.” In doing so, I have indoctrinated myself with the theory of social dynamics, particularly through the framework of Love Systems (previously known as the Mystery Method), and have developed a strong fundamental understanding of social theory. However, where I fell short was in the application. Hence, one of the major goals of this process is to not only build on my understanding of social theory, but to bridge the gap between intellect and application.
The ultimate goal is to develop a deep understanding of social dynamics. As a component, that would entail being someone who is always ready to game, be it in night settings (bars, clubs, parties, the street) or in the day (at the mall, in Times Square, wherever). Consolidated with the successes in the other areas of my life, I will have achieved complete success. The full package.
So that’s the story, and here’s the journey:
Day 3 (11/13 - Fri)
Actually spent some time tonight laying out the framework for the next few months. Should be really fun. The entire process preliminarily was split into 4 phases, with the first phase consisting of approaching, transitioning, and dance floor game.
Won’t go into everything that was laid out, but I’m looking forward to what was termed as ‘Approach Anxiety (AA) Week.’ That is, a week taken out dedicated to eradicating approaching anxiety. Should consist of 80-100 approaches in daytime/nighttime settings, with approaches looking for success, and those just done for the hell of it. Should be good… AA is definitely one of the biggest bottlenecks holding me back.
Brought someone else into the process, who I’ll term “E.” Really great, high energy guy, whom I’ve worked on with other things in the past. Should be good to have someone else to work it. No better motivation than to see someone else succeeding with you. It’ll be great to see how much better we both get over the next few months.
So we all met up and went over a core set of openers. They were:
1.) Excuse me, you’re being too loud, people are trying to relax.
2.) Who do people tell you you look like?
3.) Can you break up with a friend?
4.) Retarded Kid
5.) Wear that
The exercise was still following the framework of:
Situation -> Humorous Comment -> Canned -> Direct Compliment -> “Hey!”
In any case, we set out to a local bar in
Me and M played foosball with a set of Asian HB3 and a HB5, in the meantime. Really unattractive girls. Interestingly, we saw them throughout the night, and while they were clearly attracted, they seemed unresponsive to Game. We could tell they were attracted because 1.) they bought drinks for M and E, and 2.) they were running proximity on us whenever we left them.
Led me to the theory that HB5s and/or certain types of Asians (the ones that haven’t really been Westernized) haven’t been socialized enough to be able to react to game. For instance, say when gaming a HB8, if she is receptive to your game, she knows how to act; in essence, how to play the game. Cute girls know how to flirt, and have been socialized to how everything works.
On the other hand, it seems these girls were interested, but hadn’t had enough experience to play the game with us. As a result, it seems as though they really didn’t know how to handle the attention, even though they were clearly interested. Interesting point, because it’s a very clear example of role reversal in the natural sense. As a parallel, imagine an AFC who likes a girl, but doesn’t know what to do/say to her, even if she were to open him. At the core of it, the social pressure and socialization process on guys and girls isn’t all that different!
I ended up taking off for a bit because I was starving, and picked up a quick bite to eat. Came back and struggled to open at set. Was a mixed set of about ~HB8s. I can blame AA, but I really should have approached. After AA week, there should be absolutely no reason not to approach a set like that, even if I get blown out hard.
So no real sets for me at Busby’s, which really led me to be a bit frustrated with myself.
Dropped off E and started to head back home. However, I was really not content with not having opened any sets, so me and M walked out for a bit to find a few to close out the night with. Found a 2-set walking down the street and opened them with a winged Friend Breakup? (#3). Set opened, but before we could transition, they had to cross the street.
Still not content. Then found another 2-set running up the street. Crossed the street and opened again with a winged Friend Breakup? (#3). Opened like a charm. M knew one of the girls through a friend, and locked-in with her. I transition out of the opener with the other, using a situational. Finally, an actual set:
Set 1
Girl is a HB6. Transition out with noticing an object, in this case her necklace. Looks like a dream catcher, so I comment on it, and she responds that it can’t be because it’s missing the net part! I ask her if she ever made one as a kid, and we start talking about things we made for our parents when we were in elementary school. I run the
NorCal/SoCal transition piece. I guess NorCal, but am wrong. No worries, it still flows fine.
Now we’re walking back to their place. I just into qualifying questions, running the Crazy/Boring set of questions. The most adventurous thing she’s done over summer was wandering into a strip club. How adventurous… She flips the question and I tell her about my breaking into a pool with friends to go skinny dipping. She seems receptive enough. We keep building rapport as I continue to develop kino.
Get to her place, chat for a bit more and I number close, finishing the night off with a twirl. Pretty sure I could have closed with the French Goodbye after the twirl, but who knows. I nickname her dreamcatcher and I get saved as skinnydipper. Big plus for that one; after Day 2, there’s not a chance I’m not leaving without a nickname or some sort of callback humor.
On the way back, M and I find a stop sign on the floor. I literally open every set of girls on the walk back with it, telling them to stop for 3 seconds before continuing. Was fun and worked great, though we didn’t really go past the opener for any of the sets.
Make it back, and run some light text game on the HB6. It’s filled with all kinds of callback humor. Doubt this will go anywhere, and I’m not even remotely attracted to the girl, but the practice was good.
Overview/Lessons Learned
Night started out weak, but ended on a much better note. I really wasn’t in state going into the bar, and realized I really need a couple lay-up sets before going out, or right at the start of the night. If I had run that last set with the HB6 at the beginning of the night, there’s a good chance I would have opened more sets at the bar. Getting in state has been an issue for me a number of times, and I think I’ve found the cure: lay-up sets.
Another thing I noticed is that I need to spend some time hammering out a structure for attraction. The reason I jumped straight into Qualification with the HB6, was because I really couldn’t think of any attraction material to run. Me and M will be looking into that, and hopefully coming up with some creative stuff, so this part of the model should improve in the near future.
Also could have probably escalated more. I’m definitely running kino, which is great, but it could probably be cleaned up a bit more. That should come with practice, and it would probably help to have 1-2 kino routines in the bag. Really though, the main focus now is for approaching/transitioning. Once that’s down, I can move on to the more fun phases.
Things aren’t even close to where I want to be, but are definitely getting better. Looking back just a few weeks ago, I would hardly even interact with any of the 2-sets M opened. A big sticking point was rolling with the conversation, which seems to naturally be getting better. It’s seeming that that’s a problem which won’t be a quick fix, but more so of a gradual process. Definitely also noticing a lot less AA around campus, which is great.
We’re gettin there…
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Day 2 (11/7 - Sat)
Location: H Wood
Went to a club in Hollywood and had a first attempt at club game. Not too many memorable sets throughout the night.
Set 1
Met a group of girls in the line getting in. Ended up being pulled by one when we got inside, and started dancing. HB6.5 was lovin my grinding, and said I was fun (IOI). She ejected after a while. Could have probably escalated the interaction and maybe k-closed (or at last tried to). Before she ejected she said she wanted to meet up again later. When I ran into her later in the night she was talking to someone else and not interested anymore. Definitely goes to show that buying temperature is very temporary, and can be easily transferred to other people.
Set 2
Not really a set, but ended up dancing with M’s obstacle, a HB6. She too seemed interested by her positive body language. I was thrown off though because her dancing wasn’t that great, so she wasn’t reaaly grinding, but it seemed she was expressing interests in other ways. To make matters worse, I had seen her with a guy on the way up and had assumed she was with him.
Then a friend comes in, starts talking to her, and next thing you know, he k-closes her! Lots of things to learn from this little fumble. The first is that just because a girl can’t grind, doesn’t mean that there aren’t other ways to read body language. Second, and most importantly, is to never make assumptions. If I hadn’t assumed she was with the guy downstairs, there’s a good chance I would have had more confidence in the interaction when we were dancing.
I’ve heard this theory before, but this is case in point. NEVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS! These two sets are both instances where I could have gone for the k-close. There really should be no big deal if I had been rejected. There is actually a good chance Set 2 would have closed.
Overview
Overall saw a lot of issues with my club game. Need to work on dancing as well as body language / confidence. There were a number of sets that could have been opened that I didn’t. Not terribly happy with my performance, and definitely feel this is the area where I’ll need to improve on the most.
Went to a club in Hollywood and had a first attempt at club game. Not too many memorable sets throughout the night.
Set 1
Met a group of girls in the line getting in. Ended up being pulled by one when we got inside, and started dancing. HB6.5 was lovin my grinding, and said I was fun (IOI). She ejected after a while. Could have probably escalated the interaction and maybe k-closed (or at last tried to). Before she ejected she said she wanted to meet up again later. When I ran into her later in the night she was talking to someone else and not interested anymore. Definitely goes to show that buying temperature is very temporary, and can be easily transferred to other people.
Set 2
Not really a set, but ended up dancing with M’s obstacle, a HB6. She too seemed interested by her positive body language. I was thrown off though because her dancing wasn’t that great, so she wasn’t reaaly grinding, but it seemed she was expressing interests in other ways. To make matters worse, I had seen her with a guy on the way up and had assumed she was with him.
Then a friend comes in, starts talking to her, and next thing you know, he k-closes her! Lots of things to learn from this little fumble. The first is that just because a girl can’t grind, doesn’t mean that there aren’t other ways to read body language. Second, and most importantly, is to never make assumptions. If I hadn’t assumed she was with the guy downstairs, there’s a good chance I would have had more confidence in the interaction when we were dancing.
I’ve heard this theory before, but this is case in point. NEVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS! These two sets are both instances where I could have gone for the k-close. There really should be no big deal if I had been rejected. There is actually a good chance Set 2 would have closed.
Overview
Overall saw a lot of issues with my club game. Need to work on dancing as well as body language / confidence. There were a number of sets that could have been opened that I didn’t. Not terribly happy with my performance, and definitely feel this is the area where I’ll need to improve on the most.
Day 1 (11/6 - Fri)
Location: Party
First day of exercises. The goals of today were simple: open out every pointed set, and to plow through the conversation for at least 5 minutes. The structure were the choice of openers were as follows:
Situation -> Canned -> Direct/Compliment -> “Hey!”
Set 1
Go inside one of the rooms with M. Two are seated and already in conversation with friend, both are HB6s. One moves to the couch and I talk to start talking to the other one. Guess she’s from NorCal. Joke around about Miley Cyrus as Party in the USA is playing.
Really hard to work on any kino, as we are both seated in chairs. Friend interjects and I lose the focus of HB6. Conversation isn’t really going anywhere, so I hand her my phone to number close. She closes and I essentially leave right after. In proper form, should have stayed around to chat for a few more minutes after the close, but the set clearly didn’t’ seem to be going anywhere.
Set 2
Looking over balcony and a HB7 I’ve met before is pointing me out to her friend. Apparently I’ve talked to HB7 before about Lil’ Wayne, which now that I think about it, was really the eVeRy gUy parody :). Anyway, her friend, a HB6.5 comes running up the stairs and opens the set. She's a spoiled bitch!
Talk about Lil’ Wayne, his concert. Joke around a bit… no real routines, more just conversation. A bit of teasing her and there. I hand her my phone to number close, telling her to save me as Lil’ Wayne. She agrees, and then ejects to meet with friends. Almost no kino... should have definitely used it.
Set 3
The set that really hooked for the night. Walk into another room with M and sit on the couch. The group is chatting about the abundance of random people who aren't part of the university. M asks the HB7 (borderline... she's got a nice body) sitting next to me if she goes to school here. She does. From there I take over and we keep chatting.
Immediately notice very positive body language from HB7. She’s leaning into my words and seems to be invested in the conversation (IOI). Transition by touching her hair, and teasing her that she’s not a real blonde (she has highlights). From there correctly cold read that she’s from NorCal, and we start talking about the all girls high school she attended. She asks me where I’m from, but I ignore her question. Conversation trails, I turn to talk to M, and she gets up to go meet with her friends.
Lose HB7, but definitely felt I could have made more of the set. Her body language was definitely very engaged from the very start. Looking back, could have probably k-closed in the first couple minutes if I had acted confidently enough and gone for it.
Committed to running into HB7 again. See her on the dance floor, but don’t act quickly enough, so eject before it seems like I was lingering. Run into her ~15 minutes later in the stairwell and it’s game on.
Immediately take her hand and spin her around to boost buying temperature. Have found this to be very effective, and should try to do it whenever possible. She asks for my name (IOI). I tell her to guess, and she gets it on the first go. Bingo. Credit to M for the routine… it really helps in this case to have a common name.
Start talking about plans for thanksgiving. She suggests that I ride back with here (IOI). I don’t jump at the opportunity, and tell her maybe, asking qualifying questions such as what she drives. She drives a Mustang… not bad. Use this as the perfect opportunity to number close. Give her my phone, and use it to call her number. She asks for my last number and I enter it as ‘cutest guy ever!!!.’ She get’s a kick out of that.
Then I take her hand and pull her out to the dance floor without really saying anything. We start grinding away… she’s definitely into it. After a few minutes of that, spin her around, use some triangular gazing and k-close. I give her about 4-5 good seconds, then pull away and spin her around… that’s all she gets. When I spin her around again, she goes “you’re bad news, I can tell.” My body language and persona throughout the set must have been solid.
Keep going at it on the dance floor. She’s really into it, and I’m rubbing on her V as we’re grinding. Her friends find her, and tease her. Luckily M comes in and picks up on the obstacle in a heartbeat. Within a couple minutes, she is clearly into him. Talk about solid game...
At some point, I get peer approval from her friend which is another big plus. They have to use the bathroom, so me and M eject the dance floor, so it doesn’t seem we’re waiting for them. I get a call from the HB7 later asking where I am. They seem about ready to come home with us. Unfortunately, logistics get tied up and it doesn’t seem as though they’ll be leaving anytime soon. Doesn’t help that the cops have arrived.
M and I end up leaving. I text HB7 later and there’s solid interest. Run some light text game before calling it a night.
Note: Sent out a really weak text opener two days later and it did not open! Guess I’ll give it a week’s rest before trying to reopen. Getting back in touch would have been exponentially easier if I had spent more time qualifying and building comfort after the k-close, or if I had callback humor and a nickname. Lesson learned!
Overview
Looking back, should have probably stayed around at the party instead of ejecting. As the theory goes, a million things could happen between first and second interaction. Leaving early was essentially cutting the interaction short without it needing to have been.
More importantly, realized that I should have focused on qualifying and building comfort after the k-close. This could have been done instead of more dancing with “hey let’s grab some air,” or it could have been done at the end instead of leaving. Either way, am definitely realizing that it would have been better to have built more investment from her end in the interaction. That’s what will provide incentive to keep in touch beyond the night and to prevent from being just another cheesy dance floor make out. Also goes along with the theory that attraction is crystallized during qualification, and even more so during comfort.
Also should have established a nickname and something to use for callback humor for future texts. Overall, solid first night but still a lot of room for improvement. Still haven’t really opened a cold set in the traditional sense. Definitely seeing improvements though, good chance I wouldn't have opened Set 1 & 3 in the past.
First day of exercises. The goals of today were simple: open out every pointed set, and to plow through the conversation for at least 5 minutes. The structure were the choice of openers were as follows:
Situation -> Canned -> Direct/Compliment -> “Hey!”
Set 1
Go inside one of the rooms with M. Two are seated and already in conversation with friend, both are HB6s. One moves to the couch and I talk to start talking to the other one. Guess she’s from NorCal. Joke around about Miley Cyrus as Party in the USA is playing.
Really hard to work on any kino, as we are both seated in chairs. Friend interjects and I lose the focus of HB6. Conversation isn’t really going anywhere, so I hand her my phone to number close. She closes and I essentially leave right after. In proper form, should have stayed around to chat for a few more minutes after the close, but the set clearly didn’t’ seem to be going anywhere.
Set 2
Looking over balcony and a HB7 I’ve met before is pointing me out to her friend. Apparently I’ve talked to HB7 before about Lil’ Wayne, which now that I think about it, was really the eVeRy gUy parody :). Anyway, her friend, a HB6.5 comes running up the stairs and opens the set. She's a spoiled bitch!
Talk about Lil’ Wayne, his concert. Joke around a bit… no real routines, more just conversation. A bit of teasing her and there. I hand her my phone to number close, telling her to save me as Lil’ Wayne. She agrees, and then ejects to meet with friends. Almost no kino... should have definitely used it.
Set 3
The set that really hooked for the night. Walk into another room with M and sit on the couch. The group is chatting about the abundance of random people who aren't part of the university. M asks the HB7 (borderline... she's got a nice body) sitting next to me if she goes to school here. She does. From there I take over and we keep chatting.
Immediately notice very positive body language from HB7. She’s leaning into my words and seems to be invested in the conversation (IOI). Transition by touching her hair, and teasing her that she’s not a real blonde (she has highlights). From there correctly cold read that she’s from NorCal, and we start talking about the all girls high school she attended. She asks me where I’m from, but I ignore her question. Conversation trails, I turn to talk to M, and she gets up to go meet with her friends.
Lose HB7, but definitely felt I could have made more of the set. Her body language was definitely very engaged from the very start. Looking back, could have probably k-closed in the first couple minutes if I had acted confidently enough and gone for it.
Committed to running into HB7 again. See her on the dance floor, but don’t act quickly enough, so eject before it seems like I was lingering. Run into her ~15 minutes later in the stairwell and it’s game on.
Immediately take her hand and spin her around to boost buying temperature. Have found this to be very effective, and should try to do it whenever possible. She asks for my name (IOI). I tell her to guess, and she gets it on the first go. Bingo. Credit to M for the routine… it really helps in this case to have a common name.
Start talking about plans for thanksgiving. She suggests that I ride back with here (IOI). I don’t jump at the opportunity, and tell her maybe, asking qualifying questions such as what she drives. She drives a Mustang… not bad. Use this as the perfect opportunity to number close. Give her my phone, and use it to call her number. She asks for my last number and I enter it as ‘cutest guy ever!!!.’ She get’s a kick out of that.
Then I take her hand and pull her out to the dance floor without really saying anything. We start grinding away… she’s definitely into it. After a few minutes of that, spin her around, use some triangular gazing and k-close. I give her about 4-5 good seconds, then pull away and spin her around… that’s all she gets. When I spin her around again, she goes “you’re bad news, I can tell.” My body language and persona throughout the set must have been solid.
Keep going at it on the dance floor. She’s really into it, and I’m rubbing on her V as we’re grinding. Her friends find her, and tease her. Luckily M comes in and picks up on the obstacle in a heartbeat. Within a couple minutes, she is clearly into him. Talk about solid game...
At some point, I get peer approval from her friend which is another big plus. They have to use the bathroom, so me and M eject the dance floor, so it doesn’t seem we’re waiting for them. I get a call from the HB7 later asking where I am. They seem about ready to come home with us. Unfortunately, logistics get tied up and it doesn’t seem as though they’ll be leaving anytime soon. Doesn’t help that the cops have arrived.
M and I end up leaving. I text HB7 later and there’s solid interest. Run some light text game before calling it a night.
Note: Sent out a really weak text opener two days later and it did not open! Guess I’ll give it a week’s rest before trying to reopen. Getting back in touch would have been exponentially easier if I had spent more time qualifying and building comfort after the k-close, or if I had callback humor and a nickname. Lesson learned!
Overview
Looking back, should have probably stayed around at the party instead of ejecting. As the theory goes, a million things could happen between first and second interaction. Leaving early was essentially cutting the interaction short without it needing to have been.
More importantly, realized that I should have focused on qualifying and building comfort after the k-close. This could have been done instead of more dancing with “hey let’s grab some air,” or it could have been done at the end instead of leaving. Either way, am definitely realizing that it would have been better to have built more investment from her end in the interaction. That’s what will provide incentive to keep in touch beyond the night and to prevent from being just another cheesy dance floor make out. Also goes along with the theory that attraction is crystallized during qualification, and even more so during comfort.
Also should have established a nickname and something to use for callback humor for future texts. Overall, solid first night but still a lot of room for improvement. Still haven’t really opened a cold set in the traditional sense. Definitely seeing improvements though, good chance I wouldn't have opened Set 1 & 3 in the past.
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