Week 10 – Wednesday

Came down with a fever last night so stayed in. Hope I'll be in good enough shape for Chicago.

Week 10 – Monday/Tuesday

Spent Monday recovering and running errands. Went out to dinner with M, was good to catch up. When I go tto bed I literally fell asleep 2 minutes after my bed hit my pillow.

Went to Guys and Dolls on Tuesday with M. Made some strides with the SCM there, the main security guard who works at the door finally recognized me and we got into conversation. I jumped the yellow to green light when I told him I was in Austin for the weekend (going-forward principle!!!), because apparently he's from Texas as well. We got around to chatting about how Texas is different (friendlier, cheaper etc…) and overall a different hustle at the end of the day. Then some Asian girls walked by and we started talking about telling Asians apart (he's getting better at it…). Crossing my fingers, but having rapport with both him and the security guard behind the door should help a lot with my getting in on Tuesdays, though I've surprisingly never really been turned away yet. Don't want to jinx myself, but I don't think it'll be a problem getting in there anymore.

I think I've hit a breakthrough with the inner game digging I've been doing over the past couple weeks regarding approaching/energy levels/getting in state. How can I tell? Well, I would go around and open sets, and it wouldn't be a big adrenaline rush, nor was it a forced overcoming of anxiety. Instead, opening was just very neutral… a very normal, unexciting thing. I think this is perfect, it's exactly what I want it to be. I achieved this by priming the sets with the idea that none of this is very serious and I shouldn't take it seriously…opening and talking to girls really isn't that important. From there, the opening became just a normal thing, and I was able to plow through the initial few sets with ease, and land myself into the state of Indifference.

This is huge, and should really help with my progression. For the past few weeks, the thing that has been holding me back has been not opening consistently, or having opening be this big task requiring a lot of mental energy to go do (see my previous posts), where it should have been what it was last night… a neutral, unexciting, normal thing. Big inner game stride I need to keep hammering on.

The night itself was alright. I opened sets, but not as consistently as I think I would if M wasn't there, and got some green lights but didn't really connect with anyone. Here's a quick run-down:

Set 1: M talked to some Canadian girls and I came in… we lost at them at the bar, and when we saw them again, one of the girls was way too drunk. (yellow)

Set 2: Opened a girl at one of the tables. She opened green. It started logical, with talking about the store she was working at (they were at the venue for a grand opening party). I teased her about being a janitor there, it didn't hit, and I pursued it for a bit too long and it blew me out (green)

Set 3: Came back to the table at some point and talked to Set 2's friend. It started out as a warm approach (introduced by one of the guys we had met), and I did a series of cold reads. I must not have built enough rapport on each of them, because she jokingly said I was just laying it all out. After that the set went downhill. (green)

Set 4: Was by the table and pulled in a 2-set. Talked to one and M paired off the other. It was going good… I pointed her as being not from LA, she was from the OC. I asked her if she surfed… she does. We talked about long/short boarding, then about skiing, and I jumped into a role-play about brining her to Switzerland with me (should have taken it to marriage divorce). Her friend red-lighted and they got pulled away, but it was still an open-ended set, though I didn't seem them later in the night. (green)

Set 5: Mixed set outside (3 girls and 1 guy). Heard them talking about hookers and I came in situationally. Joked about how I wanted a hooker, but I had very specific tastes (I wanted a 250+ black woman… and not light-colored black… like Akon black). One of the girls turns to her friend and was like "omg he said akon black" and I was in. Started joking about all kinds of ridiculous shit, from drugs to racism, then they went inside for a drink. (yellow)

Set 6: Opened two girls that were walking by. They weren't having it, but I forced one of them into a high-5. Saw them a few minutes later, and opened them again, asking them if they were more friendly. She actually turned green and M took her and I split off into her friend (who was green). I disqualified myself as being gay, but I don't think I heightened it enough, and she actually thought I was maybe gay (which would blow me out later). Things were going okay, though there was no real rapport. (red) (green)

Saw her again later by the table and started escalating but at one point she was like "so.. are you actually gay?" I said no and she started telling me about how a couple years ago some guy pretended to be gay to hit on her. That was the end of that set… If I was smarter, I should have yes-anded her "are you actually gay questioned." If I was even smarter, I would have heightened even better in the beginning.

Set 7: Made eye contact with a really cute blonde by the bar, and weaved my way into her group telling her "You could at least say hi." She opened up a "hi" with a green light, but just as that was happening, I got tackled by my buddy Jayson, and I lost the set. (green)

Set 8: There was a girl by the bar, I made eye contact with her and opened her, and she introduced me to the birthday girl (who was incidentally Jayson's friend). I joked about it being her sweet 16, and I hung onto the joke too long, and waited to long to drop the line about driving her dad's mini-van (should have happened right away). The girls got pulled away, and she lost interest right about there. (yellow)

Set 9: Saw the girls from Set 5 on the dance floor and I opened up one of the girls who I hadn't spoken to earlier. Her friend blew out M, but the girl I was talking to was receptive. Her friends pulled them to the bathroom though and I lost her (damn logistics) (yellow)

Set 10: Went direct on a dime outside. She said thanks, and M came in shortly after, but they blew us out and went inside "we have to use the bathroom." I lingered too long after the direct opener without stacking forward, and M came in too soon. (red)

Set 11:Earlier in the night opened a group of Asian by their table, but they didn't really speak English and blew me out by saying they were waiting for their non-existant boyfriends (red)

Set 12: Tried to open a girl situational outside, but I didn't speak loud enough and she didn't hear me (red)

M actually pointed out something that I think is really useful for my outer game. I'm not loud enough on my opener. He pointed out that he noticed that a good portion of the sets would "what?" my opener. He's right, I need to come in louder on the opener… this is something I've not been doing and have been more or less unaware of… I thought it had always been because maybe I had been talking too fast. Time to really project on my opener. Should be an easy fix.

I noticed that I was losing a lot of the sets in attraction. The reason for this is I think it was too much spike spike spike and not enough normal rapport. This stood out when that one girl commented on how I was laying everything out (running a stack of cold-reads). I need to build back in more normal rapport and going-first into my conversations. The idea of giving investment to get investment in return. I'll give extra focus to this in my conversation blocks, and this should be an easy fix. Then after I get more normal rapport, I can start peppering in the attraction spikes.

Looking back, I actually opened a solid number of sets… they didn't last that long, so it didn't seem like that many at the time. I'm coming out of the night with 2 very distinct things (going-first, projecting on the opener) to work on though and 1 big accomplishment (inner game fix). Also, I liked the energy/state that I had… it wasn't super-power energy, but it was controlled and relaxed… unnervous.

Week 9 – Reflection

What did I learn?
- When I'm feeling right, everything I've learned comes out fuckin' perfectly (i.e. the set at Playhouse). I don't really have to think too much about it… if I can get my inner game sorted to where it always feels right, great game will just flow out
- See all the inner game realizations/strides in the previous post
- Don't take this seriously, don't treat opening like a big chore/task, have the idea of "I don't really give a fuck," it will replicate the feelings of abundance
- Clarified some really good points on Phone/Text game. Given the mindset of having the memory of a gold fish, always assuming it's on, and realizing that even the best have a lot of trouble getting turnover from cold approach numbers. Most importantly, clarified that it is not necessary to be always funny, and that the normal-normal-spike-normal-normal-spike model still holds true. It's very possible to be too gamey over text!!!
- Learned a lot about calibrating tension off the direct opener. If she's into it, keep the tension and strong sexualization… if she's a yellow light, break back into rapport and try to jump her into a green light
- Learned that Austin in a badass city :)
- Further cleaned up my style and inner game with regards to approaching
- Further realized how to just take a step back and to treat this more as fun instead of a serious job I need to do
- Solidified my understanding of qualification and comfort (especially qualification) via teaching
- Learned a new physical escalation technique (the bite)
- Additional emphasis placed on leading (physically)
- Reinforced the idea of giving investment during rapport (in set and via text)

Learning Tools for the Week:
- Braddock Austin Bootcamp

Meet Anyone New?
Nope.

Where/When Did I go Out?
Count – 5
Tuesday: Guys and Dolls
Wednesday: Hollywood
Thursday: Playhouse
Friday: Bootcamp in-field
Saturday: Bootcamp in-field

Things to different Week 10?
Take these inner game strides and apply them in the field!

I feel like I'm going into Week 10 with a refreshed perspective on game. My inner game got cleaned up, just by being around Braddock/Daxx, being in-field during the BC, and I solidified my understanding of things by having the opportunity to teach certain sections of the seminar. This breath of refreshment is something I really needed, especially after the slump I was in last week. I get the feeling things are going to start being more fun again.

I just have to remember not to take things too seriously! If I open and push sets, I'm usually happy, and from the way things are looking, things usually tend to start working out… I just can't second guess myself and let my nerves get to me.

Whoo!

I'm caught up with my blogs!!!! Suck it!

Week 9 - Sunday

Day 3 of the bootcamp was awesome. After the student debrief, Braddock asked me if I wanted to try teaching qualification. I went through the talk (it took about ~45+ minutes) and incorporated a melding of everything I've learned from everyone. I think I went well, and it seemed to really click with the students. Braddock must have thought it was alright, because after I concluded the section, he asked me if I wanted to teach comfort. I think comfort was thorough enough as well.

I noticed when I was teaching that I'd be drawing material I've learned from the various instructors I've been taught by. For instance, qualification was a fusion of what I'd learned in the sections from Mr. M, Future and Braddock's respective seminars. In essence, I took what I felt were the best pieces of each, and what helped me understand and internalize the concepts the best, and taught them as a consolidated section. It'll keep improving if I have more opportunities to teach, but I think I did the sections, and the students, justice.

Being able to teach on the fly, speak in front of a crowd, consolidate thoughts and everything else that went into a good presentation has been a culmination of the skill sets I've developed over the years (from speech and debate I high school, to studying for countless exams in college to teaching fellow students how to interview properly and land top-notch jobs coming out of college). It was a nice reminder that most things in life bank on overall life experiences and skill sets from other areas.

I definitely solidified my understanding of qualification and comfort from teaching it. I get the feeling that the theory really got set in cement. By teaching and presenting, I was able to open up a completely different set of neruo pathways, which really crystallized the compartmentalization and internalization of the concepts, and how they're laid out. I guess this was just the next step of fusing game into my DNA :).

Inner Game Strides

It's been a productive weekend… I made some unexpected strides over the course of the bootcamp. Following the trend, these breakthroughs haven't been in the mechanics of my outer game, but more so with regards to my inner game, subcommunications and deeper nuances.

Style: I further chiseled my personal style of game, and am pretty close to realizing what's going to work for me. I started out Saturday night with the idea of using the style mentioned in my previous post. That is, more steadfast and rapport based but with sexual intent (similar to what Mr. M uses). It was too low energy at the beginning, but as the night wore on, I fell more into the groove of where it should be. It helps to visualize the times where I've hit this groove, and to visualize what I've seen of Mr. M in set, as it's a model of what I'm going for. I guess the thing to realize is to not go too low energy (bad), and not into a ball of high-energy (i.e. Future, 5.0, Big Business), but a place where the energy is contained in my subcommunications.

Approaching: I picked up a couple mindsets that really helped getting into state (a.k.a. a state of Indifference). The first was Braddock's idea that he views the entire bar/club as his playground, and all the girls in there are just shiny toys. It has the mindset of "ooo, let's go play with that one.. oh, not so fun? Okay.. let's go play with that one." This really helped perpetuate the idea of not taking things too seriously. I've been trying to find a way to hammer this idea into my head, and I think this is it. Every time when I would go into a club and take things too seriously (i.e. I need to improve, this is important, I must get better), opening each girl becomes a monumental task of importance… something it shouldn't be. I really believe this is why it's been so difficult to start off my nights over the last few weeks… I've placed too much importance on the entire thing, taken things too seriously, and as a result, each set becomes almost a "task" that needs to be completed.

And thus, even if I do have a badass method of getting into state (see my Dichotomy of State Control article), the mental energy it takes to open those 5 sets, and to get to a state of Indifference, becomes extremely challenging. Taking on the idea that the bar/club is my playground primes the first 5 sets, as well as all the other sets of the night, and makes the entire approaching thing less serious, less scary, and less of a chore/task.

The second part I noticed from treating the bar/club like a playground was that I began taking on the mentality of "not caring." I would open sets casually in a laid-back manner, something that would match my style, and thus not throw myself into an initial, nervous, high-energy state. It was the idea of "meh, she's cute, why the fuck not… 'hey, you're absolutely fuckin' georgous, I'm Andrew.'" It's the conception that I'm not placing a lot of importance on the set, and that I don't really care too much how it goes. This in essence is replicating the same subcommunications of an abundance mentality.

This is a stark change from my previous mindset of "okay, there's a pretty girl, this is important… let's do everything right, apply all the theory properly, and not fuck it up." And thus, while there might not have been "approach anxiety," the set itself became something of a task/chore, and something that I felt more inclined to put off. In other words, the mental energy required to go up and open the set increased exponentially. It's similar to when I had to study for an exam back in college… I knew I had to study, I wasn't "scared" or studying, nor was there any "anxiety," but, because it was such a chore/task, there was a lot of inclination to keep putting it off… even if the exam was the next day. The mental energy required to get myself to go and actually start studying was big.

Continuing on this parallel, what is usually took for me to sit down and start studying was for the ticking clock to reach it's absolute breaking point. That is, I would really start studying at the point where I knew if I put it off anymore, that I just wouldn't have enough time to internalize all the material. That's what it took… the task/chore of studying required so much mental energy to begin doing that it took the threat of time pressure to finally overcome.

The same thing can be seen in my game over the past few weeks. While I didn't necessarily have approach anxiety, the mental energy required to open what I have compartmentalized as the "task/chore" of opening was very high. As a result, when given some leverage (i.e. Cajun wanting to see my cold approach, M pointing out a set, me telling a student I'm going to go open a set I point out etc…), I would go open no problem. However, when I was out by myself or with friends, without the additional leverage, I wouldn't gather the mental energy to go take the effort to open. This, coupled with my theory of the State Clock, would unnecessarily throw me into a state of Introversion.

This is starting to make sense. Another time that I would open regularly was when I took my visit back home and was walking around the venue with a friend, and passed a set, and just went "hey, fuck it, (open)." In those instances, it was a mixture of me wanting to show off a friend (emotional leverage), and my momentarily taking on the idea that I didn't care (though the underlining subtext was still the idea that the set was important, hence I would come in as a ball of energy).

So that's it, the reason why I've been having trouble opening consistently recently is because I've been treating each set too seriously, and the entire getting better thing too seriously. As a result, I'd turned the idea of opening a girl into a serious, important task, and as with all other tasks/chores, it became something that required a fair bit of mental energy to do. It wasn't approach anxiety at all, it was something completely different! The solution? Change the mindset (taking on the playground mindset + the "I don't really care" mentality) to change how the idea of opening a set is compartmentalized in my head.

This is cool, I think I'm going to write an article on this… I think it'll be particularly for the intermediate/advanced guys who are pursuing pick-up seriously. It provides an understanding of why even guys that are pretty good can get into a mode where it becomes difficult to open (and not because of anxiety).

Confidence: I also learned that I need to take confidence in my training and what I learned. A lot of the nervousness I get now when I'm in set comes from my second guessing myself and the knowledge I have in my head. I need to start being comfortable with the idea that I know what to do, that I'm the shit, and that I can just be comfortable and confident in set. It would be like when I was interviewing for jobs. In the interviews where I went in confident in my abilities, everything I had learned would fall nicely into place. However, in the interviews where I would second-guess my knowledge and abilities, I would find myself stumbling over simple shit that I really did know. If I go in, confident in my abilities, confident in what I know, and thus confident of the fact that I can have a good time with the girl I'm talking too, the nervousness and the second-guessing (and all the symptoms that come along with second-guessing) will go away. It'll be like the times where I've got into an interview completely confident in myself, or the debate rounds I've gone into where I'm confident in my abilities. I'm at a stage where I can start taking actual confidence in my abilities and what I do, without it being self-deceit.

There really is no reason for self doubt. I have nothing but Grade A knowledge in my head, and I've done everything right at some point… there's no reason to doubt.

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Yes, there are still a number of mechanical outer game issues to work on (aren't there always?). I get the funny feeling though that when all these inner game issues are sorted (when I hone in on my style, start opening consistently again, and take confidence in my knowledge/abilities), that my game will rocket ship to the next level.

Week 9 – Saturday

Saturday was the attraction portion of the seminar. This part was actually a lot more similar to the NYC segment, but with a few changes. In-field was cool, the students were a lot more inclined to open, and gave us a lot more leeway in opening our own sets. I was able to open 4-5, but stumbled on the one green light I got (verbal fart?). Was able to plow with some others though, and more importantly, was able to hammer in some subtle inner game things regarding approaching and style.

No real set work breaking down, by my next post will go over in-depth the inner game strides I was able to make throughout the night.

Week 9 – Friday

Friday was the first day of Braddock's Austin BC. Due to my flight, I came in a bit late, but just in time for the Trigger Words segment. I think it's awesome how Braddock is constantly refining his seminar… even the day 1 was different from the seminar back in NY. The expanded explanation of Trigger Words theory really helped, and I liked his addition of the going-forward principle (the giving investment part).

I had the opportunity to give feedback and work with the students, particularly one of them who also came late and missed the transitioning segment. As I was teaching him (he had taken Soul's day-game workshop before), I started to see the connections between Soul's conversation mapping technique and Braddock's Trigger Words technique. They are essentially accomplishing similar goals but under a different framework. It's all coming together now :).

The in-field was alright. Dude, Austin is SICK. 6^th street was amazing… first time I've actually gone bar hopping. There were blonds everywhere too, and they were all friendly! Was mainly working with the students throughout the night and helping them approach (some really needed to be pushed), so I only got to open a few sets, but enough to notice how much friendlier everyone was. Don't think they like gay disqualifiers here as much though =P (surprise?)

Week 9 – Thursday

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Week 9 – Tuesday

Went out to Guys and Dolls tonight. It actually wasn't as full as it usually is, probably thanks to MyStudio opening tonight. Got in and started talking to the door people I knew while the place got more crowded. I opened a few sets throughout the night, but for some reason still wasn't opening the hottest girls.

There were no sets in particular that were really worth breaking down… I opened about 3-4 in the outdoor area by the fireplace with situational openers and got in a few conversations. Coachella seemed to be a major topic of conversation. I noticed I was getting into good rapport, but not really escalating with most the girls I met outside. This is probably because most of the sets were 2-sets, and I never really got to get in conversation with just one person.

When I was in set with these two girls, a cougar came by and asked the girl for a cigarette. I introduced myself to the cougar and the two girls took off shortly. I started talking to the cougar and long story short, she got into me and started "bumping into" me throughout the night. Just for kicks, I whispered some dirty shit into her ear to get her even more riled up. She was there with some dude, and they ended up leaving, but we swapped numbers, and she actually called a few days later! LoL… yeah… not really going for that.

Inside by the bar I ended up opening a girl, whose friend was being occupied by someone else. I build attraction pretty quickly, disqualifying myself as being gay etc…. She told me I shouldn't be gay because I was hot as a guy. From the way she said it, she meant it. I tend to forget that I'm a pretty good looking human being. The girl left the set, I don't think I escalated fast enough, and I lost her along the way, but some other girl came by just as she was leaving.

I talked to this one for a while, and kind of got her laughing. She was a dirty Eastern European chick, so she was a bit more stone-faced. The conversation got going pretty good though, but when I pushed for it, she said she had a boyfriend. No big deal.

Oh yeah, there were these 2 girls by the bar earlier. I started talking to one and build attraction pretty quickly, but she wasn't attracted so I moved on. Like not attraction at all.

Saw one of the guys I've become friends with over the Tuesdays at Guys and Dolls and he invited me to come out with them next week. They meet up with a group of girls before they head out to the club, and I believe they know table regulars… should be a good time, the girls he's usually with are hot.

Overall decent night. I noticed I'm able to get in and build attraction pretty quickly with the 6-7's and could probably escalate farther if I wanted to. With the 8's-9's I'm getting into conversation but not really escalating/breaking out of the yellow lights (probably because I'm not taking the conversation as illogical or escalating as much as I'm doing with the 6-7's). I'm not opening the 10's which I should be doing.

Week 9 – Monday

Took it easy today… told M that Monday is my laid-back day where I can unwind and run some errands (goes hand in hand with the sanity thing). Well, it was laid-back, but didn't get any errands done :). Went out with 2 friends and M to a local bar but it was closed, we just headed back to the apt. M went to bed and I just hung out with the girls downstairs… we were up pretty late. Mainly just comfort building conversation, with some attraction here and there, but it was interesting to see everything with my new lens. I wasn't trying to view the interaction through a game lens, but I notice it's just a deeper understanding of the dichotomy of interactions, and a deeper understanding of why girls are the way they are.

Fun night though, I like relaxing nights :).

Style

I think I've got my style sorted, which is pretty cool. I've seen quite of them and tried a few of them. On the two sides of the spectrum, there was Future and Big Business on one-end (very high-energy, entertaining), and on the other end is Mr. M (calm but more sexually aggressive).

I fit better on the Mr. M side of the spectrum. The problem over the last few weeks was that when I was in a high-energy style, the attraction material would come out easily and quickly and I would be really entertaining. It would be great positive reinforcement because my sets would usually last, since I was entertaining. The downside was that it was harder to make it sexual and to fall out of being just an entertaining guy. In my best sets, I've been able to tone it down later on, but it others it's gone through the entire thing.

The downside with a calmer style is that for some reason, the attraction material didn't come as readily. As I'm developing a better understanding of the attraction material, and as it becomes more of a natural part of it, it's easier to do it even in a calmer state. So that's what I'm going to do… I'm going to keep this consistent style, and push my attraction material through this, even if it's a bit more difficult.

Some things I noticed while in set is that especially in the beginning when I'm more nervous, I have a tendency to push towards being high energy, almost as a nervous tick. I've started to knowingly suppress that and to keep my composure. I assume over time, this will become more subconscious, as with the body language ticks I was able to wipe away over the past few weeks.

The best model to this style is from what I've seen Mr. M do in the sets I've seen him in. Very sexual body language, but still saying strong attraction things to get her laughing (almost as though he were whispering her a dirty secret). It was the lion always ready to pounce (or the caged tiger), with physical escalation calibrated to how much she's willing to take. Movement is very deliberate and everything has a purpose. Moving the girl around if he can't get compliance. Because of this style, I can see why he focuses less on teaching locking-in than other instructors do. It's more of a lock-in if there's something to lock-in against, but don't necessarily go out of your way to do it.

Mr. M gave the best advice of.. "don't' try to break down everything into it's pieces," moreover, take on the feelings the person you are trying to model is feeling and the feelings that are being given to the girl. That is, go for the mental image of the style that he uses, not focusing on the the sum-of-parts.

I just need to model the idea and mental image everytime I go in set and to actively work against my subconscious tendencies that I've been noticing (i.e. switching to high-energy out of nervousness and not style).

Week 8 – Reflection

What did I learn?
- Concreted the persona/style that will work for me
- Further reinforced the idea that it's okay to get blown out… it should happen
- Learned a thing or two about home, and the effects of it
- Learned a thing or two about my inner game, and how it can be affected
- Developed a deeper understanding of qualification and how it works, and other ways of making it work (statement-based SOIs coupled with sexual SOIs, statements that tell something special about the two of you together, and force-framing statements)
- Learned more ways of opening: from a distance, and a moving girl
- Saw Mr. M's direct opener, and thus cleaned up mine (he delivers them differently from Braddock & Co.)
- Picked up subcommunication things from Mr. M from seeing him in set (how he positions himself, how he moves him/her)
- Learned about the idea of disqualification + DHV as a way of splitting up attraction
- Picked up on the non-neediness of Mr. M in the field
- Learned about how Mr. M calibrates his physical escalation based on how the girl is reaction. I've seen two cases. In Oslo, when the girl was really into him, he escalated quickly, and here in Hollywood, the girl wasn't into it, so he focused more on moving her and gaining compliance, without really physically escalating.
- Saw how Mr. M delivers attraction material. Even though they're teases/role-plays etc… they're not done in a crazy high-impact/high-energy manner the way some of the other more state-based instructors do it. There's a calmer way to how it's done.

Learning tools for the week:
- Mr. M & The Don Los Angeles Bootcamp
- Mr. M, Braddock & Sphinx: Issues in Qualification IVS
- Mr. M & Braddock: 9&10 Game IVS

Meet anyone new?
- Prestige & Helicase

Where/When did I go out?
Count – Don't know how to quantify it.. not entirely sure what should count as a full night out and what shouldn't.

Tuesday: Rotated around Guys and Dolls and college bars (doesn't count)
Wednesday: Moscow
Thursdsay: College Party
Friday: Bootcamp In-field
Saturday: Bootcamp In-field
Sunday: Saddle Ranch (1 set)

Things to do differently Week 9?
I learned a lot but I still need to be opening sets… I've fallen out of that path and need to get back on it.

I took zoom-out of everything this week. I was able to look at the bigger picture and I think doing this really helped me get out of the inner game dip I took from my trip home. I started to realize that I was putting too much pressure on myself and setting too many expectations. I should be viewing this as a barrier that I constantly push against. If I don't reach a certain point by a certain time, then so be it, but I should just push and do whatever I can.

Moreover, I realized that my life has already been changed. Be in 1 month or 1 year from now, there will be a time where all this clicks... it's already so far embedded into my sense of being. There will definitely be a point where I am amazing with women, because beyond it all, many of the deep-seeded changes have already taken place. Now, it's just a matter of time and practice before I hit the glory land.

That's the mentality I picked up and it's what brought me back to sanity. The pressures of needing to do x by a certain time frame or needing to achieve y had started to get to me. Along with the crack in my inner game, I started to question myself and my confidence took a hit. Looking back on the week, I realized I just needed to take a step back... a proverbial deep breath of sorts.

So the view on everything now is shifting towards a bigger picture view, with a bit more sense of humanity, rather than a machine striving towards achieving a certain goal. That said, I'll still be pushing the barrier hard, and doing whatever I can to improve, I'll just be cogniscent not to get in my head, because well... that'd just be counter-productive.

More than anything, I'm going to focus on enjoying the process, and enjoying my last 2 1/2 months of being a free being... someone not tied to a job and all the pressures and responsibilities that come with it. 2 1/2 months... a lot can change in 2/12 months... I was much different 3 months ago, looking forward to see what happens in the next few months. :)

A lot can change, I can make massive strides and become the person I want to become. I just can't trip myself up in my own head. It's becoming more and more clear that this is a battle that is 50% in the field and 50% in my own head.

Week 8 – Sunday

The qualification section on Sunday by Mr. M was money. It was really, really good. Why? Well, I didn't understand qualification as well back in Oslo/London, but now that I've successfully done it more than a few times, this really struck a chord with me. So far, Mr. M has been the only instructor who hasn't strictly taught qualification through the hoop theory.

The part that stood out was when he went over his section of accusatory qualification (done earlier), and statement-based qualification (done later). I liked the deeper explanation and categorization of things like the Whole Room Destroyer as well as the WILKYs (you know what I like about you… etc…). I won't go into everything I thought was useful, but it was good… really broadened my understanding of the topic.

The re-cap of the students was also particularly useful. Why? Well, there was a portion where Mr. M talked about how to not let your state get affected too much. He talked about stories where he'd gotten blown out 3 times in a row and then found a hot blonde and successfully opened her. It was the stories from Mr. M and Helicase about having opened 10+ sets the night before and only have a few of them open. It was the internalization of the idea that not all sets will open, no matter who you are… even if you're Mr. M or a good looking guy like Helicase. It was something about hearing them recount their actual experiences that made it all the more real, that you really can't care. You just can't be a pussy and care about things like getting blown out of an opener. The talk really gave me a kick in the ass.

The bootcamp was useful in a lot of ways. It re-aligned me and got me back to my current state of mind. Seeing Mr. M in set gave me a much better picture of the persona/style that works for me, and the style I should be pursuing it. Watching him direct open hot girls with no hesitation was reinforcement that guys that look like me can do it, and hearing stories of blow-outs and watching blow-outs happen further reinforced all of it. As I was telling M, it wasn't necessarily the theory that helped, but all the other little things that came from just being around everyone.

Week 8 – Saturday

Saturday's seminar was let by The Don. It was pretty much a review of attraction. The things that did stand out was his way of splitting attraction into Disqualification + DHVs. I noticed his style focused a lot on disqualification, with much of it being self-deprecation based (from Big Business's 10 types of disqualification). It wasn't as well categorized as Big Business's seminar, but then again, Big Business has been working on splitting up disqualification for the purposes of making a seminar all about it.

There wasn't too much new material, so didn't learn too much on the theory side. The in-field was a much better venue, and one we used during Future's BC when he was in LA a while back. I helped students get into sets, opened 1-2 sets (need to open more…), but the reason I wasn't opening was because I found it difficult to find the median between being assigned to follow a student around, and going to talk to girls myself. Every time I saw girls that I would open, I would send the set in. Need to talk to Mr. M about how he goes about handling this balance. By 1AM, when the students were more on their own, there weren't really any girls I could pick out that I was interested in. Boo…

The in-field turned out to be tremendously helpful for me though, as I got to see Mr. M up close with a few sets. After seeing so many instructors, Mr. M really is my best model in terms of subcommunications and general persona in set. I've tried the high-energy explosion of Big Business and Future, but I get caught in it, and it hurts my sexual intent. In the sets that have gone really well over the past few weeks, I have more or less taken on the style of Mr. M… that is, rapport based and lower energy, but sexually charged and with aggressive subcommunications.

It was great getting to see it in action from the man himself again, and this was by far the most useful part about this weekends bootcamp. It's something I can take to set as a model for what I do… I'll be writing a separate post on this later.

Week 8 – Friday

Day 1 of Mr. M & The Don's bootcamp! To my pleasant surprise, Prestige and Helicase had been brought in to help. I'd heard a lot about Helicase from Future, Big Business and Braddock, and was looking forward to seeing him say and do ridiculous things at the coming in-field sections.

A lot of Mr. M's Day 1 was the same as it was back in London/Oslo, but I noticed different things resonated with me this time around. It's kind of like when he talks about how when you go through your notes at different points in time, different things stand out depending on where you are in your progression. The things that stood out this time was the idea of the instructors getting blown out constantly, and a refinement of the direct opener.

I actually learned some new things. Mr. M went over the mechanics of how to open a moving set and how to open a girl from a distance, which I thought was pretty cool. He talked more about the model and how it's supposed to cycle, as opposed to the linear fashion it's laid out in in Magic Bullets. I liked hearing about cup theory again, and some of the stories he was telling.

During the in-field there weren't that man girls. But I did get to open a couple of them. I was able to build attraction with some of them, and in particular with one (she goes… "he's really funny!"). I also went direct on a couple of the girls, which was liberating to do again (it's been almost a week since I went direct)

Then we went to a second in-field venue where I opened another girl direct and got into things before she was pulled away. She was actually into it.

I'm still not 100% there in terms of pushing past the initial barrier and getting to Indifference. To be fair, there weren't many girls out (which was why we had to change venues), and I was helping students out the entire time, but I need to be getting myself into set more, even when I'm ACing on bootcamp.

Re-Aligning

I touched on this briefly yesterday, but this is an issue I need to address. I brought this up with M in the morning, and the issue is that I've been feeling a bit off this entire week. I know exactly what it was too… after my trip home, things just didn't feel right for some reason. The way I explained it to M was that it was as though my inner game "cracked" over the weekend, and as a result, all the pressures of this process started to have affects on me. This affected my interactions with everyone and my overall confidence level.

The unsettling thing is, I knew this was happening when I was in these moments, but I didn't know what to do to overcome it. My entire system was uncertain, so no matter what I did, the uncertainty stayed. I felt this when I went out on Wednesday and yesterday at the party too. Recognizing the problem is the first step to cleaning it up.

Where did it come from? Well, it definitely came from my trip home. Last Friday, I felt on top of the world… over the last few days, I have felt in a very different position. What was it about home? I can't quantify it exactly into words, but it's a combination of dealing with my relationship with my parents, seeing my friends who haven't gone anywhere, and the feeling of "man… think, introspect, reminiensince" that home causes. It was great to be home and to access some of thinking, but the spill-over effects its been having have not been desirable at all.

The fix? Well, I think from just being away from home, I'll gradually begin to re-align with my actual persona (i.e. who I am now, and not who I was then). Anything left over should be fixed by the bootcamp. Nothing like spending 23 hours over 3 days filled in a life-changing environment (with Mr. M, nonetheless). Hopefully by this bootcamp, the crack in my inner game is sealed and I get put back on track.

Something to note though. It's sad to think just being home for a couple days has this kind of effect on me. Which begs the question… home is a comfortable place, but is it really where the heart is? Home gets me to think about the past, and rekindle old memories and feeling and to think of emotions and times long past, but at the same time, the process of reminiscence has a side-effect of causing doubt and a depressing of progression and where life is currently at the moment.

It should be interesting to point out that this only really happened when I was at home home. The first night was spent going to SF and partying in a club… there I felt completely in my element of my expanded-self. Once truly in suburbia home though, hanging out at old bars with old friends and no one else, and having a ton of time to myself with just my family at home, is when a lot of the draw-back effects started to kick in.

If the bullet train is going forward at 100mph, my trip home has temporarily applied the brakes to bring it down to 40mph…

The fixes? Well I can see two. 1.) Don't go home. 2.) Keep progressing till my new-self and inner game is so rock solid that nothing can change it. With regards to #2, most things don't affect my inner game at this point, but home still has a special soft spot. I don't go home often, but it's unavoidable. Maybe during the holidays, surround with happy times, the same draw-back effects won't happen, but that's something only time will tell. (Realistically, the holidays are the only times I'm going to be back home over the next few years anyway).

Awareness is key though. Knowing that home has this kind of draw-back effect on me, and being cognitive of it the next time I go home will help is trying to prevent it. Nonetheless, it's still hard when being in an environment where it's so easy to fall back into old routines carved through a path of 17 years.

Anyway, though I understand it, as you can probably tell through my posting, there might not ever be a complete fix (other than time). Nonetheless, I'm not there often, and I imagine I'll revert back to my normal soon enough. Home will always be home, and home is truly where the heart is… right?

Week 8 – Thursday

Thursday ended up being a college party at one of the fraternities. It was fun to see old friend, though I didn't really open any sets throughout the night. As my article states, it was the thing of not opening any sets, and not really reaching the state of Indifference. I should follow my own advice… it's actually really good. The night ended up me just hanging out with old friends, going around etc…

I did run into the girl I hooked up with a couple weeks ago, right as she was leaving. I had crossed paths with her earlier in the night, but I didn't stop her and we "didn't notice each other." In hindsight, I should have probably stopped her and continued where things were left off. When she saw we hugged for a prolonged period of time and as we were facing her friends she was running her fingers around my back (strong IOI). I think it's still a green light… I'd have to act pretty quickly if I want to keep things going.

After I ran into her again, I went over and started talking to one of my buddies. Not entirely sure why I didn't stick with her… in hindsight, it was probably the best move... it gave a little push after the pull, and made me seem less needy, but the reason for why that happened wasn't as tactical. To be honest, I felt a little awkward, but I've been feeling a bit off throughout the week (more on that in my next post), but I do need to work on just being in the moment and getting into the vibe in social situations, and not just off a cold-approach.

She ended by saying.. "it was good seeing you even if it was just for 2 seconds," and I texted her with a "let's aim for 3 seconds next time." It hit and she responded back positively.

Week 8 - Wednesday

Went out with M to Hollywood, and felt the burn of not being part of the "inner circle" of Hollywood. I wouldn't necessarily call it the inner circle, more so as not being part of the social circle. First we tried going to Bar210 and weren't able to get it. The breaking point was when M asked if it was "list-only." I've since learned that they don't have lists in LA… so all that accomplished was pegging as a set of tourists that definitely weren't getting in. Then we went to Tearoom, which is even more exclusive, and were weren't able to get in there either. These are the kinds of issues SCM is made to resolve.

On the way back from the Tearoom, M opened two girls walking towards us. Turns out they were ~20 and heading to a nearby rocker bar. They were both pretty cute, and we proceeded to split them off. M did a great job with his girl, and generated attraction pretty quickly. I did alright (enough to get her attracted), and they asked us to go with them to the bar.

We get into the bar, and M's girl gets split from her, and I have some time with mine. I must have said something to rub her the wrong way… I think it was when I made a joke about her being a "bad girlfriend" because her friend had wondered, and she got offended and shut down. Oh yeah, they were "lesbians" in an open-relationship. So that set shut down…

We walked around the venue a bit more but didn't really see anyone to open. I noticed with M, it's much more of a selective process in terms of who gets opened. Good for quality control, not great for learning and practicing. In any case, the bar was odd… super rocker group. Reminds me of Monday nights at Les Deux but even more odd.

Throughout the night me and M talked more about his game, my progression, and I tried to deconstruct what he does. I used to think he had great qualification, but it's just that he has really good attraction. It's very natural based, so it's not easy to model, but he's good at keeping his mouth running and keeping the girl invested.

Week 8 - Tuesday

Came back in time to go out, but Tuesday ended up being a logistical disaster. Instead of going to Guys and Dolls, M asked me to go hang out with some friends. So I went to go meet him around 11:30, but somehow he was already inside and the line inside the bar was way too long. So from there, I went to Guys and Dolls, getting there around 12:00. Just from the looks of it, I knew it would be impossible to get in at this time, so to not get pegged as one of the guys who regularly doesn't get in, I left shortly after.

Throughout this entire thing, there was a girl who wanted to meet up, but I fucked the logistics one too. I pinged her with a text, and she responded right away by calling me telling me she was coming back from Santa Monica.

Instead of immediately pointing out a place where we could meet, I said I wasn't sure what I was doing. The indecisiveness was able to knock the entire thing off the rocker, and she sent a follow-up text saying she was going to hang out with another friend, and it might be awkward, so to meet up later. Lesson? The strongest frame always wins… if I had held a stronger frame and pushed for the meet-up, I would have probably met up with her.

On the way back from Guys and Dolls, I stopped by one of the college bars, but it had pretty much cleared out by this point.

Went home from there and that was that.

Home is where the heart is?

It’s been an interesting weekend back home. While things seem different, I realize it isn’t home that has changed, rather, home has stayed static while I have changed. I’ve noticed this more and more each time I’ve been back over the last 4 years, but especially in particular during this trip home.

I used to take solace in the comforts of home… friends who were not judgmental, routine things to do, places where I knew everyone, and people I had grown up with. This time around, I feel more than ever that the people who are still at home are trapped in time… some chasing a dream of the emotions once to be had, and others who have given in to what now is. Nonetheless, amongst my once-peers who are still home, I’ve noticed how much I’ve changed.

A few things stood out to me this weekend. The first was that I noticed with a much improved perception of social interactions, I started to break down the personas of my friends and family, and furthermore, I found myself looking for answers as to why I developed into the person I was.

Nature/Nurture: I’ve always believed that development is a combination of nature and nurture. By nature, I tend to be an adapter. I quickly adapt to new environments, and take on many character traits of those I’m around. The the environment I grew up in molded me into the person I was when I first went off to college. From there, my new friends molded me into the person I was up until this year. Then, be it through luck or fate, the people I have met this year have remolded and shaped who I am in ways I couldn’t have fathomed.

My Friends: But what was it about the first 17 years of my life that shaped me into someone who was so mediocre with girls? Well, it’s all starting to make sense. My friends were great, and I love them to death, but I’m realizing that 99% of male/female interactions we all had were very platonic. It’s not that my friends were nerdy (they were pretty much the opposite)… they partied hard, were anything but the model-student, and few made it off to college. Yet, there lacked an overt sexuality in all the male/female interactions. Guys weren’t used to flirting with girls and girls weren’t used to being flirted with.

Why is that? Without digging too much into racial stereotypes, it could be because many of them were first generation Asian-Americans, raised by generation zero Asian parents who viewed the establishment of marriage as more a partnership than a bond of intimacy and affection. Consequently, affection was discovered on an individual basis, usually under society’s protective label of a relationship, and never quite openly expressed by those with more overtly loving parents. It brings me little surprise when some of the Asian girls I open direct respond with a reaction of confusion, as though they are unsure of what to do with such a direct, unapologetic statement of intent.

Hence, while at home I developed great bonds with a large group of friends, shared deep connections with a few girls under the protective umbrella of a relationship, and was sent off to college without developing an understanding of how to flirt, or how to give a girl SOI and truly express affection outside the protection of a relationship (sexual SOIs & emotional SOIs). I’ll save what happened in college for another post.

My Family: I love my family to death. I truly won the lottery for ending up in a great home environment. Perfect? Absolutely not. Could it have been worse? Fuck yes. That said, while my family, namely my aunt and mom were extremely affectionate with me, the affection did not extend to my dad/uncle. This doesn’t mean there was no love, it’s that there was never much of an expression of affection.

So the role-modeling message was sent that it’s okay to overtly express affection with your kids, but not so much with your lover. For me, this translated directly into the amount of affection I expressed with the girls around me. Only under the social protection of a relationship did I feel comfortable expressing affection. Why is that? Well, I believe it’s because the influences that determine what is socially acceptable under the roof of a teenage boyfriend/girlfriend is taught through love songs, TV dramas and movies; with there being little to do with parental influence.

Limiting Beliefs? To add insult to injury, while being in such a platonic, Asian-American environment described above, my reference experience of girls over the years was limited within my race. Moreover, while what I did know was typically enough to “get” other Asian-American girls who were raised in similar environments (hail Arcadia, Saratoga, San Marino, Irvine, Fremont, San Mateo, Calabasas, Diamond Bar etc…), it didn’t cut it for the girls who, raised in more affectionate environments, expected flirting, overt sexuality and open masculine desire.

The perfect path was paved for a deeply ingrained limiting belief to arise. Logically, you can see how it would make sense. As an Asian-American guy who had previous success and reference experience with Asian-American girls, and seemed to be able to get other similar Asian girls, but not girls outside his race, namely Caucasian, it makes perfect sense that I would come to the conclusion that Caucasian girls innately don’t like Asian guys. You can be damn sure I wasn’t telling myself that it was because I hadn’t developed the skill set of flirting or that I didn’t know how to be more affectionate. The mind works in funny ways…

Where are they now? My environment undoubtedly changed while I was in college, and furthermore over the past year. What happened to my friends that never made it out of home though? Those whose environment and influences have remained relatively static over the past 5 years. Well, they’re still great friends, but the story has stayed the same. They rely on the support of their social circle of guys and girls, never quite having the social flexibility to thrive in other types of situations.

So it should be no surprise that when everyone ventures out a bar in a city, that they tend to keep to themselves. Those that attempt to “pick-up” girls have skill sets that are so underdeveloped that they often don’t make it very far past the opener. And while cold approaching is innately unnatural for many guys, regardless of the environment they were raised in, many of the “one-off” girls that are introduced into the group likely have a higher proportion of being sucked into the platonic friend machine.

Home sweet home… So I come back to this static environment… with friends who are still relatively platonic, and parents who still aren’t very affectionate, and while I love everyone to death, I realize that I have to guard my frame like it were Fort Knox. Being able to break down and understanding what is going on around me helps, but each day I spend here, I can feel the negative influences clammering at my doorstep.

So as the transitionary week into Phase II comes to a close, I bid home farewell. A part of me is delightfully happy to see old friends and familiar faces, yet a part of me is remarkably sad in realizing that I cannot be here if I truly want to push my progression forward.

Week 7 - Reflection

What did I learn?
- Came up with a solution to get in State / Get over initial AA and learned a lot about getting into state
- (see the other postings)

Learning Tools for the Week?
- None actually… don’t think I used anything new this week

Where/When Did I Go Out?
Count: 3 (Fuck! That’s really bad…)

Thursday: Playhouse
Friday: College Party
Saturday: Rouge

Meet Anyone New?
Nope.

Live Up to My Expectations?
No… I only went out 3 nights, and only had 1 night where I was really productive. If the rest of the weeks are like this, I’m not going to get anywhere.

Week 7 - Sunday

Stayed in Sunday night. It was raining, my friends were busy or tired (realized the rest of society views Sunday as a day of rest…), and it was raining.

Week - Saturday

Followed my buddy home for the weekend. I needed to make it back anyway to pick up a car. Went out in the city to this club called Rouge. I noticed two things: One, my friends back home have absolutely zero game, and two, the theory in my article of getting into state works. Here are a few of the sets:

Set 1: Married… at 21? Two girls I opened happened to be engaged. The girls were young… 21-22 young. I thought they were kidding around but then they hold up their ring fingers and yup, that was definitely a real diamond ring. Crazy.

Set 2:Two girls by the dance floor. My buddy had opened them but it was crashing and burning, so I came in and re-opened with a semi-direct (“you guys seem cool, are you friendly?”). I get into it alright, but she is literally holding hands with her red-light friend. I drop the ball when I start plowing with the completely disinterested red-light (fat, mind you), friend and there goes that.

[I turn around and realize the 3 guys I knew that originally opened them have just been standing behind me watching me. I’m sure that can’t have helped how things played out… One of the guys, a mutual friend, goes “damn, I like this guy already.”]

Sets 3/4: I grab said guy and tell him we’re going to go find some girls. The next 2 sets are a disaster, I’d open and he’d jump in right after my opener, making it awkward and subsequently blowing us out. Oh well… After 2 sets of this, I think he realizes he’s fucking shit up and goes off on his own.

Set 5: I open 2 girls by the bar, and one of my friends

Set 6: Balls of steel. A group of 6 guys and 1 girl. I go up to them and ask her if she’s dating any of them. Unfortunately she is… I compliment her anyway and keep moving.

Set 7: Group by the dance floor. I open one of the girls and then befriend the guy. The girl is into the conversation, but I can’t really isolate, or mini-isolate her, and her friends are being a little awkward. I do a takeaway, and come back later, and open her again. I drop the ball by not trying to get her away from her friends.

Set 8: This one is bullshit. I open a group of 3 girls by the dance floor. One of them is really cute. Then just as things are starting to get on track, my fuckin’ friend comes out of no where and goes “Hey gurllls, what’s up… you wanna dance?” The girls go.. “mmm… maybe later.” He keeps plowing with some lame shit. Shit. Balls. Fuck. I just walk away..

Set 9: Table. There’s a girl by the table my buddy got. Apparently she’s his friend from school? Anyway, I hook this one and she actually starts to like me (right around deep qualification). When I come in, I build fun attraction. I tease her for having not moved from her spot... Then I joke about how I was somehow in the bathroom, in the ventilation, and something about me seeing her and her being incredibly sexy. It was actually pulled off well…

I keep building attraction… apparently she now works as a janitor at the club, and I tell her that I applied, but got rejected. As a janitor she asks? No, as a go-go dancer I respond. Something about me not willing to give any nooky on the side. All this comes from the base question of somehow talking about the boring topic of work.

I tell her she seems like a cool girl and probably has an actual personality, and I ask her what she does for fun other than hang out at a club on a Friday night. She lists off a few boring things, then she says she flies airplanes. Bingo. I dig deep, find out how she got into it, and what she likes about it. I relate it to driving, and when that doesn’t hit, to skydiving. I talk about how it’s probably the feeling where everything else goes away, and nothing matters, and you’re just focused on yourself and being free. She agrees, and I can see the subtleties in the body language shifting and a slight sparkle in her eyes. And right at the peak of the emotional build-up, I compliment her, saying, “I like how you’re able to do something that’s adventurous that puts the world on hold and let’s you live in the moment. It shows personality. I like that.”

From there, we talk a bit about travel and what not. I’m pretty sure I throw in a few light emotional SOIs “Yeah? I find that really attractive.” Etc… Anyway, I could have kept going with this one, but I knew there were more attractive girls to be met around the bar, and I knew she would be at my friend’s place after if I wanted to go after her, so I tell her I’m not done flirting with her yet, and eject.

Set 10: Set 10 is the last one I’ll talk about, but this was my favorite. I make eye-contact with this girl by the bar, and I go up and tell her she can’t look at me like that without saying hi. She laughs and we get right into set. She has a few guy friends, but they go off (checking if she’s okay first), and she chooses to stick around. Green light. We talk, doing the usual attraction building stuff, then I tell her I can barely here her and move her to the bar.

Attraction isn’t through the roof, but it’s there and I start to qualify, asking her what she does for fun outside of the bar. She’s a dancer. I know this could be a springboard for some great deep qualification, but I need to get the mechanics of this worked out. I give her an SOI, telling her I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone interesting in the bar, and I’m surprised I actually met her. She seems like a yellow light on the physical escalation, but I could have probably pushed it more.

Unfortunately, her friends come back to get her, as they’re leaving (it’s 1:30am at this point). I should have timebridged and closed her number earlier, but I’m leaving in a day… so what’s the point…

Girl was actually cute though. Boo.

Retribution Set: LOL, this was my favorite. We’re walking back to the car with my friend that blew me out in Set 8, and he opens these 3 girls walking along the street. Here is the interaction:

Mike: “Hey girls, how’s your night going”

Girls: “Good! We had a lot of fun”

Mike: “Nice, nice, where’s the after-party?”

Me (to our other friend): “Hey, I’m gonna blow Mike out.”

Me (to the girls): “We’re actually looking for some hookers..”

Girls: “Oh… we’re not hookers.”

Me: “No, I know you’re not. I should have been more clear. We’re actually looking to kill some hookers. Would you happen to have a basement in your place by any chance?”

Girls: (blank stare)

Buddy: (Mike goes and starts profusely apologizing to the girls)

It’s okay, no real crime committed, those girls were not attractive at all.

On a serious note, I’ve forgotten how great a feeling it is to have really worked a room by the end of the night. I left the venue feeling an air of lightness, and a sense of accomplishment that I had really utilized the night. Very stark difference to Thursday at Playhouse, where I was inhibited by initial AA for a good chunk of the night. Braddock is right, regret weights tons while failure weighs ounces.

Consistently Getting Into State

[Placeholder for State Article]

Week 7 - Friday

Had a friend come in from home and we went out to a college party. It was cool seeing old friends, but there really weren’t too many sets around to talk to. I did get to test out my theory on initial AA, and it works. Make sense, the theory I developed is based on a combination of things I’ve learned, as well as personal experiences of nights that my AA was completely wiped.

That was the benefit of the night… the sets themselves aren’t really worth mentioning.

Week 7 - Thursday

Week 7 – Thursday

Went out to Playhouse tonight. The crowd and music was good, but the layout of the venue wasn’t the best to work on this stuff. It’s similar to Guys and Dolls in the sense that it’s a rectangle. But… imagine the walkways being skinnier, there being no outdoor area, and the bar area being one big dance floor.

Another thing I noticed was that my initial AA was horrible! I don’t think I talked to anyone for the first hour… All in all, the night wasn’t terribly productive, but it did prompt me to write an article on understanding and overcoming initial AA. I think I’ve got a good handle of it now…

Article will be posted soon.

Components of My Game

As part of the effort to make everything more structured and systematic, I started thinking about the current components of my game, and the pattern I’ve fallen into. This is what it typically is:

Opening

Semi-direct:

- “You guys seem cool, are you friendly?”

- “Hey, I’m Andrew”

Direct:

- “You are absolutely fuckin’ gorgeous (I had to come meet you)”

- “You are fucking hot! I had to come meet you”

- “You girls are way too cute, I had to come meet you”

Winging:

- “Hey, have you seen Michelle?”

- “Are you hitting on my boyfriend? I’ve killed for less…”

- “Get your filthy fucking hands off my boyfriend.”

Transitioning

[Want to add short circuit to qualification: “You know, you’ve got to seem less intimidating if you want cute guys to approach you more often”]

Fishing question: “So what are you guys up to?”

Cold read: “You’re not from LA are you…. (you remind me of the girls back home)”

Emergency: “You have an expressive face etc….!” “You’re a nurse….”

“OMG”: “How old are you anyway? You look like you’re 16. No the reason why I ask is because…”

Attraction

Inorganic

Future Projections:

- “We’re going to make a porno and sell it for millions, we’ll be rich! We can split it 60/40. It’ll be awesome, I’ve got a great idea. Two gay guys, two lesbians and a donkey. I can even pay you your cut up front... Do you have change? I’ve only got a 20.”

“Let’s go rob a bank! We’ll go into Wells Fargo, and I’ll hand you a gun, and we’ll just do the damn thing. Then we’ll speed away in my sexy black convertible across the PCH with the cops chasing us. Right when they think they’ve got us cornered, we’ll drive off the cliff into the pacific. But… there’ll be scuba gear in the trunk. Bring some sandwiches though okay? I don’t like celery or tuna.”

- “You mean you’ve never broken into the Chancellor’s house? Well that’s our next mission. We’ll steal equipment from the De Neve janitors and scale the fence…. you go first. Then we’ll go skinny dipping in his pool and christen his hot tub. After that we’ll break in and steal his goblets and famous UCLA gear. We’ll split the profits… 60/40, I’d give you more but then we’d have to get married, and you and I both know it’d never work out. It’d be all fights and make-up sex.”

- “We’re going to Europe. I’ll be driving down the Magaddi freeway in the South of France, you’ll be in your sexy red dress, I’ll be wearing my black leather jacket in my sleek ’67 Mustang, and we’ll be listening to Van Hallen as we throw old records out into the Caspian Sea without a care in the world. Then after a day of badassery we can stop by McDonalds for some chicken nuggets.”

Teases: Starfish girl

Misinterpretation: You know, I’m not usually into black girls, but there’s something about you that I’m oddly attracted to; Are you assuming that just become I’m black? I don’t appreciate that

Self-Deprecation: 2010 is my year, I’m finally going to lose my virginity; I’m actually gay… yeah, I’m trying it out Monday, Wednesday Friday like a party-time gay thing. I’m still not sure though… I mean, I don’t look him in the eyes while I’m sucking his dick, so I’m not really gay right?

Bullshit answers: Where am I from? I’m from Africa, I’m actually here on a spirit walk.

We Can’t Date: It’s too bad we would never get along… all we’d do is fight and fuck; I know how this ends, it’s hot passionate sex for 3 months then I’d break your heart into a million pieces.

Non-verbal: I can’t talk to you anymore (back-turn)

Shocker: Oh... You’re from Kansas? Have you ever played that game… what’s it called.. you guys are really famous for it… it’s not horse shoe… chase a black man with a rope!. No that’s actually not funny, I hate it when people make racist jokes, I have black in my family tree. … One hanging off each branch ;).

State breaks: Skiing or snowboarding? Red or Black? Chocolate or Strawberries?

Lingerie or Pajamas… and have you ever spiked a guys drink? Okay great, we can be friends.

Organic

Conversation Building: I expand conversation through the principle of “giving investment” and giving more investment if the conversation ever lulls. I also build on the trigger words idea of relating and tailoring investment based on the things she’s saying. From this, I can typically keep organic conversation going for at least 15-20 minutes if I need to, m… more than enough time to either get blown out or get things on the right path.

Go to conversation topics: Surfing, skiing, photography, traveling, scuba diving, social dynamics

Humor Techniques:

- Heightening: The core of my humor. A girl says something, I say something that tops it and makes it even more absurd, to get some crazy laughs.

- Yes-anding: I yes-and to build humor (it is innately part of heightening), but I also use it to get out of shit-tests, potential conversation lulls and try to use it as a vehicle to backdoor out of those situations with a little humor

Disqualification: In addition to the inorganic material I find myself slotting in, I also improvise using the following techniques:

- Teasing

- Self-deprecation

- Misrepresentation/Misinterpretation

- Non-verbal Takeaways

- Bullshit Answers

- Ridiculous Statements

- Shockers

(so I guess the ones that I don’t really use are exuberant bragging, we can’t date and verbally breaking rapport… good thing to keep in mind).

Qualification

Small Hoops:

- Are you adventurous?

- Are you spontaneous?

- You’re from ____________, you’ve got to have a personality… what else do you do for fun other than hanging out at a club on a Wednesday night?

- I find it really sexy when girls can ____________________, can you __________________?

Medium Hoops:

- What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done recently?

- What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done recently?

- How’d you get into ________________.

Large Hoops:

- If you could do anything without fear of failure, what would you do?

- If I gave you a million dollars and one thing could be different tomorrow, what would it be?

- If I asked you friends what your 3 best qualities, what would they say?

Soul/Golden Mirror Qualification: The principle of digging, digging, digging, finding the core value and then complimenting it. I suppose golden mirror qualification is slightly different from the qualification I learned from Soul in the sense that I should be looking for something they can achieve, instead of just a personality trait I like, and then saying with authority they can achieve it because of x personality traits.

Force Frame Qualification: You know what I like about you? I like that you’re open-minded and independent. You can actually hold a good conversation with me without looking to your friends for validation. I like that… it shows personality.

Comfort

Inorganic

Cajun’s Questions Game

Organic

- General comfort from having had rapport

- Moving them around the venue

- Building emotional commonalities

[My organic comfort game is probably my weakest area right now and could actually use some work. Realistically though, it’s not entirely necessary to get laid… moving the girl, pulling off Cajun’s questions game, and having solid rapport and emotional commonalities should be enough to get laid. That, and I have the breakthrough comfort knowledge pretty engrained in my head.]

Sexual Hoops / SOIs

Small Hoops: (see attraction material above: Part-time gay, make a porno, starfish girl, fights/make-up sex, losing my virginity, skinny dipping in the chancellor’s pool, sexy red dress)

Medium & Sexual SOIs:

- “You know, I’d love to take you out to dinner, and buy you flowers and what not… but then I’d take you home and fuck the shit out of you.”

- “If you were my girlfriend and wearing that dress, we would fuck like 5 times a day”

- “Do not get alone with me” (girl asks why) “Because I would fuck the shit out of you.”

- “Just to warn you… I am voracious. I am an animal.”

Large Hoops:

- “If all these people weren’t here, I’d bend you over the bar and pound you so hard from behind.”

Emotional SOIs:

- (Pull her in) “You are SO sexy.”

- “You have got to stop looking at me like that, you’re going to make my heart pop out of my chest.”

- “Who are you? I’ve been looking for a girl like you…. Where have you been?”

Physical Escalation

I use the following mechanics:

- Arm/elbow touches

- Taking her hand and swinging it around while talking to them

- Clasping her wrist and softly pulling down while I rock in and talk into her hear

- Going from holding her hand to intertwining my fingers with her

- Putting her arm on my shoulder

- Brushing her hair out of her face

- Going from right ear to left ear, quickly brushing across her face with mine

- Pulling down on her jacket collar

- Putting a finger in each of her jean pockets and pulling her in

- Putting my index fingers in my belt loops and slightly pulling in

- Running my fingers around the small of her back

- Lightly pulling the back of her hair (the roots)

Isolating

- “Hey, give me a tour of this place” (then proceed to make up stories about each area of the venue)

- “Hey, I can’t hear come over here”

- (to her friends) “I’m going to steal you friend for a second, I’ll bring her right back”