Business vs. Game

For the past few months, I’ve kept my successes in business and skills in business communications separate from game. I knew that there were stark similarities, but also knew that there were enough differences to warrant keeping the two separate. Moreover, there were skillsets that I used during business communications that were actually counter-productive to game (i.e. being too serious, sounding too professional).

Now that I’ve gotten better, I’ve started to re-explore my business communications skills for overlap. Through thinking about it, I’ve found a few key skillsets which I believe can be safely transferred over to game. The skillsets are things I have worked on extensively for corporate recruiting, and became quite good at, and realize that these are skillsets which can be paralleled in game.

Speaking Slowly: When I first started corporate recruiting 2 years ago, one of my biggest issues was speaking too quickly – it reached a point where I would even write “slow down” on my hand before an interview, in an attempt to slow my speech down. Even then, speed was still a problem… Then, about a year ago, the problem started to improve, and I started to get really good at controlling the speed of my speech.

By the time the most recent recruiting season came around 6 months ago, I had mastered speaking slowly during the interview, and it was something I didn’t really have to think about. In fact, when I would teach other people preparing for corporate recruiting, speaking slowly was one of the first things I would fix… and it usually made a significant improvement.

After talking to Peter Sheriff in Bangkok, I realized that I had developed the issue again of speaking too quickly in general. It seems outside of a controlled interview environment, where I initially made a conscious effort to slow my speech down (which eventually became subconscious), my speech was still too quick. If I can transfer the skillset of speaking slowly from my interview skills to game and general life, I think it will help me get over that sticking point relatively quickly.

It helps to be in Oslo where if I speak to quickly, people don’t understand me at all. Consider it training wheels to speaking more slowly :).

Mental Imaging: I got really good at mentally imagining my saying something in an interview, and then saying it in almost exactly the same way I had pictured it. On a broader scale, I got really good at picturing myself interviewing really well, and then replicating that in real life when the actual interview came.

When I first started corporate recruiting though, that’s not a skillset I had. In fact, when I would imagine myself saying something, when I actually went to say it, it was actually harder to do so! It was almost as though I was became self-conscious of the fact that I had mentally pictured something and was trying to replicate that (I used to think “who does that?? that’s weird.” That thought process makes absolutely no sense, but it is how I felt at the time.

It’s not something I consciously worked on, but I realized when I got really good at corporate recruiting, a large part of my success is that I got really good at picturing myself saying something, and then saying it pretty closely to how I had pictured it.

This type of imagining is mentioned extensively in Psycho Cybernetics, and is something I never really realized I did until I read the book. I would reckon that if I can accomplish the same kind of imagining to my sets, I’d be able to deliver routines and words better. Picture it, then do it. Easier said than done, but I have gotten good at it… just in a different setting than game.

Self-Image: This one also draws directly for Psycho Cybernetics. Through successful reference experiences, mentors and knowledge, I developed a rock-solid self image of being an absolute successful business person. I held the image that I was confident, could handle myself and was fully capable. Holding this image provided me with the actual confidence to succeed and is the exact kind of self-image that needs to be worked on for my game.

While reading psycho-cybernetics, I was able to compartmentalize 4 types of self-images that I have – the academic, the corporate executive, the social friend and the sexual being. I’ve got the first two down, the 3^rd one 70% there and need to really work on just the last one.

Absolute Confidence: As I got better at corporate recruiting, I started to feel that I was better than everyone else. Literally everyone else – kids from Wharton, NYE, Virginia... wherever. I knew that many were smarter, some were better with numbers, but that at the end of the day, I understood the game better and knew how to interview better.

This confidence transcended all: prestige of schools, race of the candidates, height, looks, you name it. How awesome would it be to have this same kind of rock solid confidence in my ability with game? It’s obviously not perfectly there yet, but I have experience achieving this type of confidence in another field – something which in itself should have some transferable benefit while developing inner game for game.

This confidence was grown organically as I naturally got better, and I suspect similar things will happen with game. If I can expedite the process though, by realizing what I went through with corporate recruiting, it would make things all the better.

Bootcamp Day 1 (1/22)

Finished the first day of the bootcamp and wow, it was quite the experience.

Theory
Bootcamp started with general introductory theory and a section on opening. The theory on this day was a nice refresher but primarily review; which is fine, I realize the point of the bootcamp is to go through the entire model. The drills on the other hand were tremendously helpful. I was able to correct a number of body language issues I had unconsciously been doing.

Less Tense: A function of being tense was that I would pull my shoulders back too far. By relaxing them, while still keeping them a bit back, I looked a lot less tense.

Space: I had heard this one before, but never really received a solution. Basically, I was corrected to stand with a wider stance, but more importantly, use to use hands openly and not hinged.

Eye Contact: Pretty sure this was partially caused by my eye infection, but I realized on the direct opener, I wasn’t holding direct eye contact – I would glance back and forth at the mouth.

Neck Forward: Sometimes I would lean my neck forward, was instructed on holding it back more.

Beyond the subcommunications, it was great to finally see how to properly do a direct opener. In seeing it, I realized that 80% of the power in it really comes from the subcommunications. Still though, I was skeptical on how it would work in field, without really having any successful reference experiences to go off of. I consider a reference experience doing it successfully yourself or seeing someone else who is similar to you doing it successfully (some might argue that's a reference mentor, but whatever... to each his own).

In-field
Now this is where day 1 had its weight in gold. The feedback, inner shifts and general improvement were absolutely astounding.

The instructor to student ratio was ridiculously good. Pretty much, I would always have at least 2 guys with me if I wanted. Mr M and Keychain were also so accessible, and I ended up getting some great feedback. More importantly though, it was the environment that really made the night… with so many instructors and people who really knew what they were doing, as a student, I had an urge to really try anything and everything. What I also noticed was that in this environment, approach anxiety had almost all but disappeared, which is a reference experience I’m pretty sure I can carry forward regardless of the setting.

Having the opportunity to actually watch Mr M in set with a 9 and how he interacted was also one of the highlights. Beyond the pure entertainment of watching someone who’s really got this handled, I could feel the inner game shifts taking place as I observed. Watching him in set and seeing him get the success he was getting was a definite reference experience I’ve been searching for these past few months. I’m definitely going to try to get him in 2-3 more sets tonight to really reinforce the reference experience.

Side note: Watching someone who’s really good at this running game is spectacular to see… it’s almost as though you’re watching an art form… it’s so seamless and smooth.

When I started running my sets, for the first time, I really began to notice how much I’ve improved over the past few months. Moreover, I began to realize how much laying the foundation over these months had paid off throughout the night. I was able to work on almost all the goals I had laid out – something which would not really have been possible if I was stuck with crippling approach anxiety or if I wasn’t comfortable isolated in a set. Here’s what took place:

Outer Game / Mechanics
Direct Openers: The fabled Direct Opener M and I have been trying to figure out over the past few months. It was literally something I couldn’t believe until I saw… I was with Mr M early in the night, we were walking by the bar, and he turns over and direct opens a 9. I see it done properly and have the “wow… it really works moment.” Then I naturally want to try. I run it on a few sets, and it ends up hitting really hard for some of them. Holy shit, I’m addicted… by the end of the night, all I want to do are direct openers – it cuts out so much of the bullshit it’s unbelievable.

Sexual Intent (SOI): This was a big one… a really big one. Through the sets, I became comfortable with expressing my sexual intent in the conversation. I was telling girls that even if I wasn’t hitting on them, I’d still talk to them since I realized they were cool (the actual line was a bit different), and really setting the tone in all my sets that I was fuckin hitting on them and that I didn’t care. My favorite was Mischa’s “Yeah I’m hitting on you… so what? You're fuckin' hot!”

(The sexual intent comes across pretty easily off the direct opener, but I want to figure out methods today to get the same message across off an indirect opener, which I think will be addressed today).

Skillsets
Sexualizing the Conversation: This was a huge realization and something else that really could only have been learned in-field. As I suspected, this was the missing element in my game over the past few months. That is, I would get in sets, get isolated, but then there would be no sexual tension (unless by some chance she just happened to be really attracted by subcommunications). Through instruction, I found myself using both physical sexualization (covered next) and verbal sexualization. In the set that hooked the hardest (off a 5-set direct-opener in front of her girlfriends and guy friends), at one point I was whispering into her ear how I’d fuck her 5 times a day if she was my girlfriend and wearing what she was wearing :).

Kino: Another major point I wanted to work on throughout the workshop and I finally started to get a handle of it! Here’s what I realized. After some really solid feedback, I noticed that I had gotten really good at getting in set, locking in and then playing the “cool, non-needy guy.” The lightbulb moment though was when it was instructed that at some point, I would need to go from being the “cool guy” to being the fuckin’ lion on the prowl that would fuck the living bliss out of her if she wasn't careful.

After the realization, Mr. M and Micha gave me some great demos where I played the target. Having them run the physical escalation on me was so important because it really gave me a sense of what I should be doing. When they’re doing the escalating and gaming me, I could really feel the heat and can get a sense of why they do so well in set.

Another really important point was really seeing “body rocking” in action. I used to think body rocking merely referred to something Mystery’s guys did during the opener, but now realize how much more it’s used when actually in set. Instead of facing the girl the entire time of the conversation (as you would do when you’re locked in as the “cool guy”), I learned to start rocking in and talking past the girl’s ear once the physical escalating began.

Inner Game
Here’s where the big money was. The inner game shifts I had last night were unbelievable. They came so hard and fast I found myself surprised that they were hitting.

Bombshells & Asians: As I mentioned in prior blogs, this inner game limiting belief was still residually there from prior bad programming. As I also mentioned, I needed the reference experience to really get over it. Watching Mr. M in set really wiped out that limiting belief in one blow. I usually try to find reasons and excuses to poke holes in something but I really can’t. He was gaming her, she was hot, and he was building some of the best attraction I’ve seen… fast. There’s no excuse -- this is the reference/mentor experience I was searching for.

Masculine Core: At some point in the night, I really accessed my masculine core for the first time, and god damn it was liberating. This came superficially as a function of the direct openers, statement of intents and sexualizations. On a deeper level though, it became an inner game shift in which I knew I was hitting on the girl, I had made it very clear that I wanted to fuck her, and I was perfectly okay with it. It was absolutely freeing to not play the game of indirect and pretending that I’m not hitting on the girl and letting it “just happen.” As Mr. M would call it, I played “Man Game,” for the first time, and wow it was fun.

Results
Not too focused on the results, since the process improvements were so vast but here they are:

-2 k-closes

-1 girl straight grabbin at my D on the dance floor

-1 phone number (could have easily been more)

-Definitely potential for 1 SNL if I had pursued it, though I wanted to stick around and get more feedback on other sets.

Overview
The foundations laid over the past few months were monumental to my success. Being able to quickly implement and incorporate the mechanics provided by the instructors, without having to worry about elementary issues such as approach anxiety or comfortability in-set really allowed me to make the most of last night.

Day 2 starts in 2 hours, time to go get cleaned up.

Pre-Bootcamp Evaluation (1/21)

In addition to the acute goals in the last post, I felt it'd be helpful before the bootcamp to layout my broader goals as well:

What I’m looking to get out of Game

Definitely a deeper and important question. There are a number of things I’m looking to get out of game, and a number of things that attract me to it. The reasons have refined and only become more over the past couple months.

Well-roundedness: In the sense of being an accomplished person, I feel as though I am 80% there. Being able to claim your manhood and express sexuality is part of being a well-rounded person, and this is the one piece that’s missing.

Missed opportunities: There have been far too many times where there have been girls that I would have loved to have been with, but lacked the social skillset to go after. When I look back, I want the string of missed opportunities to end here.

Flexibility: Flexibility should be the ultimate goal of a productive person. For instance, financial success provides for flexibility to do what you want. Similarly, social success provides the flexibility to create and foster the relationships you want. There is obvious correlation/connections between the two, but for the large part, financial and social success is largely independent (i.e. the lonely scrooge vs. the starving artist).

Control: The skills learned from understanding game and social dynamics provide a greater control over my life. I want to be able to control the variables which affect how I live. Game provides the ability to significantly control my environment.

Relationships: There is nothing like being with someone who you believe meets your standards. I really believe these are the only types of relationships that can truly be successful. Otherwise, I would always feel “better” than the other person, and the relationship would never be as healthy as it could be. Unfortunately, I have inherently high standards. Game provides a mechanism where I can meet these standards. Otherwise, I’m trapped with the girls that happen to come around, or girls from whom I constantly feel like I can do better.

Bootcamp Goals (11/21)

Just arrived in Norway and currently on a train heading to Oslo. Having read nothing about the city (aside from the fact that blonde bombshells reside here) and having done no research, I’m completely blown away by the landscape of this country. The city is covered in white, with pine trees, houses and everything else you’d see in a Winter picture book – it’s absolutely stunning. The views from the train are awesome as well, especially having seen nothing but sun and beaches for the past 2 months.

It’s fuckin cold though… though it’s refreshing at times.

Really excited for the upcoming bootcamp, and ensuing week. I hope to leave Oslo having taken a significant leap forward. Throughout the 14+ hour plane ride, I was able to think through the things I’ve learned and more importantly, was able to hash out the specific goals I have for this weekend. There are very particular things I’m looking to achieve, and I'm fortunate the past few months have led me to a point where these are realistic and reasonable goals:

Outer Game / Mechanics

1.) Open more naturally and consistently: As mentioned in prior blogs, I’ve reached the point where I can open, and now I’m looking to reach the point where I can do it more naturally and consistently and to be more comfortable dong it. Basically “clean-up” work here.

2.) Building attraction: In all the sets over the past few months where I have built attraction, I’ve done it through subcommunications and coming off as confident. While this worked in those situations, I need to be able to control building attraction more, not just relying on the chance they’re attracted. In all my sets I’m noticing that I usually jump straight into qualification because it’s something I can do. In the ones where attraction has been built through subcommunications, the qualification pings hit and I’m able to progress. In the ones where they don’t, the questions are ‘rejected’ and I hit a wall.

Inner Game

1.) I’m hoping to develop the belief of attractiveness to targets I wanted to be attracted to me. I find myself not believing that some targets are going to be attracted to me, even as I’m going through the motions and running through the model. This inevitably shows up in my subcommunications, and is a big area that would be great to fix. As mentioned in prior posts, a lot of this limiting belief stems from bad programming from prior, broader limiting beliefs. Hopefully the bootcamp, which will lead to more reference experiences will fix this. Just watching Mr. M in field (which in itself is a big reference experience), and seeing for myself what he has become, and what I could be, should help significantly with this as well.

Skillsets

1.) Kino: I want to improve my kino skillset and to be able to do it more consistently and naturally. I get the feeling this one will come pretty easily once I get some structure.

2.) Sexualization: This is a big one. I want to be able to sexualize the conversation in the sets I’m in… that is, to be able to express sexual intent (be in through the opener or in conversation) at some point. This really is a function of the inner game shift of being able to freely express my masculinity and being completely alright with freely expressing myself as a sexual being. Mr. M is really known for causing this “shift” in his bootcamp students, and it’s something I have high hopes for.

Social Circle

1.) I want to be more involved with the community. Social dynamics (game and beyond) is a topic I’ve grown passionate about over the past year, and I want to be more involved. I feel this would be beneficial for myself, and would provide the opportunity to help others -- something I have a knack for. Hopefully the bootcamp is the first step towards playing a role within Lovesystens, whatever it may be, which would be something that would significantly define my trajectory going forward.

Beyond these specific short-term goals, I’m hoping the bootcamp carves a clear path of what to do next, after whatever I want to do now is accomplished. Over the past couple months, I’ve read hundreds of reviews of prior students, and if it’s as good as everyone makes it up to be, this should be one hell of a weekend!

A Red Eye from the Redeye (1/21)

Soo… to my dismay, I’ve developed an infected left eye over the course of the past day (similar to a girl we met at our guesthouse in Laos, but not quite as bad). Went to the ER and got some eye drops, but realistically, this is probably going to be with me for the next 3-4 days. To make matters worse, I got up this morning, and it had gotten even worse over the night – the exact opposite of what I’d hoped would have happened…

For a good portion of last night, I was frustrated and angry… I mean, out of 2 months of traveling, a 3-4 day infection had to come during the 3 most important days of the trip; what the fuck right? But then, I found myself drawing from a lot of the training and lessons I’ve learned over the past few months:

Psycho Cybernetics: One of the biggest lessons I learned from Psycho Cybernetics was how to release the uncontrollable effects from the past, and to go forward in the most effective way possible (taking into account what has already happened). So instead of wasting the mental energy wondering what if – what if I hadn’t rubbed my eye that one night in KL, what if I hadn’t rubbed my eyes on the plane – instead focus on how to best deal with the situation now that the past has already happened.

Mr. M: I remember in one of Mr. M’s interviews, a key point he makes is that game is a compensation for other areas. So for instance, a average looking guy would need more game than a good looking guy, as game serves the function of leveling the playing field. Having a bit of a swollen/red eye obviously doesn’t help in social interactions, but this kind of physical imperfection is precisely what game is meant to compensate for.

Realizing this, sure my eye might be a minor setback, but it just means I need to work twice as hard this weekend. Even with a red/swollen eye, there are still scores of guys out there that are in significantly worse positions (scrawny, short, amputee etc…).

Personal Theory: Something I’ve realized over the past few months is that personal imperfections are magnified and blown out of proportion by even the person with the strongest self image.

For instance, it is not uncommon for guys to really feel like they need a haircut. After getting the haircut, many other guys comment on how “they look the same.” Before the haircut, many other guys comment on how “they look fine.” This goes the same for random pimples, minor weight gain and so forth.

The truth is, temporary imperfections are typically blown out of proportion. As an individual, you grow accustomed to what you think is the “ideal” image of yourself. 90% of the time, when you look in the mirror, you’re pretty close to what that ideal image is at the time. As you grow, this ideal image (or at the very least, the image that you’ll tolerate) changes, and so do your standards of yourself when you look in the mirror.

If however, there is a “shock” to what you expect to see, such as in my case, a redeye, or in other cases, an overgrown haircut or a pimple, the difference seems grossly out of place to the ideal image you’re used to seeing/tolerating 90% of the time. As a result, the imperfection is magnified and you become extremely conscious of it, whereas in reality, most other people might hardly notice it.

The point is to realize that the implications of the minor/temporary imperfections are largely manifested in your mind – a direct cause of your physical reflection not matching what your mental reflection is accustomed to seeing.

Sooo… my redeye obviously isn’t ideal, but I have the sneaky suspicion it’s not nearly as bad as my subconscious is telling me; especially to a person that has never met or seen me before.

Alright, bootcamp kicks off in 2 hours – time to go get ready!

Vang Vieng (1/13-16)

Vang Vieng ended up being a lot of fun, despite being food poisoned for a good portion of it. The city is awesome for enjoying life… people go tubing in the river in the daytime, and at night, there are a number of “beach bars.” Moreover, people come and go frequently, so the place is really close to being completely consequence free (just don’t get caught smoking weed!).

Aside from all the crazy fun times “tubing,” the highlight with regards to game was the 2-set I ran on the last night. It was M’s turn to be sick, so I ended up going out alone to one of the “beach bars,” and met someone who I’m 80% sure has studied textbook game.

I isolated a set of Swedish girls with the guy, Henry, and was able to run some solid again. The set opened with the girls just chatting to people by the bar. Henry merged himself into the interaction and then very promptly isolated his target. A couple minutes later, I followed suit with her friend. Throughout the interaction, it was as though I was mirroring what he was doing, though he was doing it much more quickly and smoothly.

Again, this interaction solidified the realization that I am now comfortable isolated in a set. Unfortunately, it also solidified the realization that I have a tendency to jump right into qualification upon isolation, relying on chance that I get the opportunity to somehow backtrack and build attraction (definitely not enough structure in the attraction stage). Ended up k-closing the girl, and out of the corner of my eye, watched Henry game the other girl in a way which can only be described and sweet.

Would go into a field report but it’s 12:30 AM and I need to get up early tomorrow for the bootcamp. That, and I’ve been churning out page after page of report/reflections today… my fingers are saying no more!

Luang Prabang (1/10-13)

Luang Prabang was a light reintroduction to game. We spent most of our time in the city hanging out with a German 2-set M met on the 2-day boat ride to the city. The boat ride was great, aside from the wave that soaked a my book and camera. I had the chance to knock out some key chapters in Psycho Cybernetics, which analyzed the characteristics of success (confidence, goals etc…) and characteristics of failure (pessimism etc…)

Highlight of the 2-set was the first night when we each isolated our girls and I had them talking. Through the interaction, I noticed a few things:

- I noticed that once isolated, I jump right into qualification. I find myself doing this because I don’t have an understanding of attraction material, so I go to what I can do. In this case, I could tell attraction wasn’t sufficient because some of the qualification questions were being rejected (i.e. being labeled as hard questions).

However, I feel through the conversation, my subcommunications and general confidence built some attraction. By the end of the interaction, I was definitely feeling some attraction from her part, which was evidenced by kino. She had a boyfriend, which only made things more difficult, but I’m pretty certain there was atraction.

- Come to think of it, I think I actually built a lot of the attraction by the stories I was telling. She was the kind of girl that would turn my qualification questions on me (IOI), which put me on the spot. Didn’t’ have stories lined up, but ended up coming up with some really creative ones (one involving me in a Mexican jail and another involving my passing out naked in a jungle in Costa Rica). The stories were DHVs in themselves, and I’m pretty sure they were a big reasion attraction was built.

- Second important point was a realization that I was comfortable in isolation. Aside from not having the attraction material, I an comfortable and confident in a situation where it’s just me and the girl having a conversation. I no longer have trouble holding eye contact, I find myself doing body language takeaways, and overall really enjoying myself in the conversation – nervousness isn’t even a factor.

Other than the cool stories, I didn’t really run any special routines… just the usual qualification questions. Interestingly, she came up with some of her own qualification questions too, which I found interesting.

That’s about it for Luang Prabang… ended up getting too ill to contribute too much to the interaction over the next day, and whatever momentum was built the first night started to fade away.

Chang Mai (1/5-9)

Sitting in a Thai steam room, I had the opportunity to think about my progression through game and the trajectory I’m on towards improvement. Moreover, I was able to compartmentalize this “world tour” into a set of logical segments, which provided even more clarity.

Hong Kong – Bali: Hong Kong to Bali provided an opportunity to jump head into game. Without too much structure, it was an opportunity to go out, have fun and to just see what I could do. This was primarily the structure of Bali, and provided for a few successful reference experiences.

Australia: The fun period ended and game became more structured, focusing on specific points. Australia also served to help desensitize myself to social pressure and to make a few leaps and strides in terms of opening. Achieving this was monumental to preparing myself for the bootcamp.

I had known from reading multiple bootcamp reviews that they were nearly 100% successful in conquering opening throughout the weekend for those who were having trouble with it. That is, the problem, if it existed, was relatively easy to solve. However, getting over crippling approach anxiety would overshadow potential improvement/diagnosis on any other area during the bootcamp. And while opening is “easy” to fix, the same can’t as easily be said for the rest of the model.

So while it took over a solid week to made strides in terms of opening/approaching/approach anxiety, putting in the effort and making such a stride created the opportunity for the bootcamp to be so much more than just 3 days of getting shoved into set after set after set. Instead, the sets can be opened, opening can be refined, and the deeper, more complex parts of game can then be analyzed and worked on with the pros.

Like Sheriff said, the bootcamp usually catapults the student past their current set of sticking points. I wanted the current set of sticking points to be deeper issues (such as inner/outer game attraction) instead of simpler problems such as opening and approach anxiety.

Chang Mai: Chang Mai presented the opportunity to take some time off from game and to work more on self-reflection. I was able to stop and think about where I was, where I needed to go, and how I felt about everything. Coincidentally, the chapters I was reading in Psycho Cybernetics correlated to finding happiness, and what it takes to be a consistently happy person (happiness is a chosen state, not one created by outside factors).

Chang Mai was great in terms of compartmentalizing my thoughts, which should really help with improvement going forward. Moreover, I feel the break was necessary… sometimes things seem more clear after you take a short break from them. Hopefully this is also the case for game.

Melbourne (12/27-1/3)

Melbourne

Social Anxiety/Pressure

The week in Melbourne has come and gone. It’s been an interesting week… still not too sure how I feel about it, though I’m sure I’ll have more clarity over the coming weeks. The big focus of the week was on continuing to open and to continually desensitize myself to social pressure.

The exercises were more spread out, as numerous ones were taken on throughout the week. The highlight was dressing myself up in a ridiculous consume one day, and then opening. Interestingly, when dressed in a ridiculous costume, I felt even less social pressure than if I had dressed normally. I think it was because my costume was so over the top, that I felt no pressure of the people thinking I was opening seeing the real me. That is, if dressed normally, ,I have a mental image of myself, and have to step outside that comfort zone of who I am, when I risk the interaction, and potential subsequent blow-out/rejection.

What I learned though was a reinforcement of how much of social pressure and social anxiety is in my head. I’m sure there are people out there that would have been humiliated to have had to dress up and then open (M would have probably felt more social pressure), but in theend, everyone is doing the same exercise.

The amount of social pressure felt is determined strictly by the individual and the indivdiual’s inner game. What might cause immense amount of social pressure for me, might not cause any for the next guy. However, in theend, the results of the openings, holding everything constant, would be the same…. The only difference is how the person feels about opening in such a situation. The lesson? Social anxiety is completely a manifestation fo the mind, and as a result, should be able to be shifted or changed through personal will.

Looking back on the week, I can say that I have been exposed to social pressure in a number of situations, and have begun to be desensitize myself, or at least accept it. There are still problems with approaching, it’s not perfect yet, but I feel the social pressure of an opening is much more manageable than it was a week ago. Nonetheless, there are still problems which I will address in the next blog.

While in Thailand, I need to capitalize on the reduced social anxiety to continue opening and progressing through the model. My only gripe with focusing strictly on social pressure and opening, is that for the 2 weeks at least, it has taken a lot of the spark out of game. The goal became to open and to feel the social pressure, and to possibly close the number if things went well. This quickly gets routine and boring, even if we didn’t’ open as many sets as I would have liked.

Still, not focusing on attraction or qualification, or getting that sense of reciprocity from hitting the hook point and driving through the rest of the model takes a lot of fun out of the game. Thailand should be an opportunity to continue to open, but beyond that, to plow past the opening/transitioning. I may have learned quite a bit with regards to a pretty big sticking point (in my opinion, it’s still sticky), but this week/two weeks have not been very much “fun.”

Cold Approach

A lesson I’ve learned over the course of Melbourne which I didn’t’ expect, was the benefits of the cold approach. Before, I felt cold approach was great because it created the opportunity to meet and hook up with girls. This week has shown all the other benefits which come form being a social person, and from cold approaching.

M and I have benefited greatly form having cold approached a number of sets. We had a social group to spend New Years with, from the Aussie with met in Hong Kong. M had cold approached him in the restroom at Lang Kwai Fong. We also had a guy, Adem, take us around, buying our meals and giving us a bumhc of free stuff. We met Adem in an alley way in Bali, off a cold approach when we went back to hi on his girl. Adem turned out to be one of the most generous people I”ve met, and he really defined a good portion of our Melbourne leg.

On the last night, we also were pointed in the direction of penguins, from a cold approach in a 7-11, and we were given a palce to stay on our last night off a cold apporahc M made at a New Years day party (from which we had gotten tickets from Adem).

The bottom line is that cold approaches can end in nothing, or they can end in something. The con is maybe a bit of social pressure from being blown out, while the pros can be limitless. The thing is, you never know till you try. As Wayne Gretzky once said, you miss 100% of the shots you never take. The benefits from a cold approach soucl be a new friend, a place to crash, free stuff, or related to game, the best sex ever. The cons really are just the possibly of getting blown off and the social anxiety that comes with that.

Lesson? Approach often!

Sticking Points (Pt. 3)

Attractiveness

I’ve only got about 20 minutes left of laptop battery life left, so I’ll try to plow this part out as quickly as possible.

After some deep self-reflecting, I’m realizing that at the core of all my sticking points is the deep seeded inner game issue of attractiveness. I continue to hold the inhibiting and limiting belief that I am not attractive to certain types of girls. Primarily, I don’t feel that I am attractive to 8+ blondes/brunettes, especially if they’re 25+. I personally do not see myself as a compatible fit with them, even if I am attracted to them.

This poses a problem from opening all the way through the rest of the model. If I don’t feel that I can be attractive to a certain type of person, it signficiantly limits who I will naturally open or seek after. Thinking through it, this is probably one of the reasons M has to push me into so many sets – many of these sets are girls I think would not be attracted to me, so I don’t try. Even when I do get pushed it, I’m operating under the framework that the girls won’t be attracted to me, even as I’m going through the motions of interacting.

Throughout the entire model, this is an issue. As we all know, subcommunicaitons reflect beliefs, and subcummunications make up 70-80% of what is communicated ina social ineraction. If I don’t feel attractive, I won’t be speaking in the frame where I feel that I can legitimately get the girl, or that the girl is legitimately interested in me.

This belief was once rooted in the idea that I was Asian. Over the past few montsh though, getting over the Asian limiting belief has probably been my biggest success. As with non-sexual situations, being of a certain race is no longer part of my reality. Sure, it may have effects, but I am no longer personally cognicsent of these effects, and I let it have no control over me. I accomplished the internalization or removal-from-reality of this limiting belief from non-sexual interactions 3 years ago, and 3 years later, I’ve finally removed it from sexual interactions as well.

However, even the the fact of being Asian has been accounted for, a byproduct of having held this belief for so long is the current issue of not feeling attractive to certain types of women.. The only cure to this? Reference experiences.

I am sure that reference experiences can 100% fix this issue.

I need to have evidence and past experiences of hooking up with the very type of women I falsely believe would not be attracted to me. I have the knowledge, having listened to really powerful interviews by Mr. M and Soul, and I’ve read deeply into these types of limiting beliefs and how they’re manifestations of the mind. I have the reference mentorship, as guys like Mr. M are not only great with women, but at the very top and forefront of the dating community. What I need now is the reference experience, to internalize the belief that I am capable of achieving what my inner self is saying is not possible.

I am positive fixing this inner game issue is the key to unlocking a ridiculous amount of potential success. Now I just need to go out and get those reference experiences….

Sticking Points (Pt. 2)

Opening/Approaching

One of my biggest sticking points has been related to opening and approaching. I feel this sticking point has been both a significant outer and inner game.

With regards to outer game, one of the big issues was the very mechanics of the opener. I didn’t’ believe opinion openers worked, and felt…. And still feel… to an extent that I need the perfect opener. The Paintballs and Rats exerciser has definitely show me that this isn’t the case, but in my situations I still feel myself struffing for the perfect opener. This is especially the case at night…. Openings seem to need to happen so quickly and I’m fidnign myself not opening because I can’t think of what to say.

What needs to happen? I need to pick 2 night openers and stick to them relgiiosuly. I need to open with them in all situations and get used to being blown out and I need to amaze myself the many times they work when I think theyw ouldn’t (that’s what happened weith Paintablls and Rats). Moreover, I need to internalize the openers so I’m using htem over and over and over. I’m still not opening nearly as many sets as I would like… especially at night! I essentially need a version of the Paintballs and Rats opener at night (but with a legitmate opener I could use into the future…. I need a night where I can open 10-15 sets in a night environment).

With regards to inner game, I need to stop thinking negatively that the set won’t open, or that they won’t be receptive. I also need to belive more in my openers. A big thing that’s holding me back from opening is that I don’t’ believe in the opener, I don’t’ believe that it will work, so I don’t use it.

That coupled with the fact that I can’t really think of an opener on the spot makes it tremendously hard to consistnatly open sets. This is more so the case at night than in the day. The big reason for this is that I need the reference experience from opening successfully with a particiular opener in a night time situation. This reference expereience will give my inner-self the confidence and belief in the opener. I can’t see this being fixed any other way. At this point, I have the knowledge, I have the mentorship, I need the reference experience. This is one of the biggest things holding me back from opening more consistently.

The opening issue is both a mechanical (what opening do I use?) and inner game issue (will the set open? will an opener work?)

To an extent, opening is also hindered by the fear of social anxiety, that is, anxiety caused by an awkward situation. This however, is not so much the issue after the Paintballs and Rats exercise. I would imagine this problem will continue to mitigate as I repetitively open more sets and see more success. Like I’ve mentioned before, social anxiety is gotten over through desensitization, which is a function of repitiion.

Naturally Opening

My ability to open has improved significantly over the past few months – I’ve gone from not being able to even isolate – let alone talk - to a 2-set that M opened to being able to go up to cold sets opening with ridiculous openers such as “do you believe in paintballs and rats?’

Things have gotten better but my opening still needs to be cleaned up a lot. While I’m comfortable enough with social pressure to really push myself into sets pointed out, I’m looking to be able to open more naturally and consistently. The opening should feel more natural, and this is both a mechanical and inner game issue. I’m at a point where the opening can happen, but it still doesn’t feel 100% normal/natural.

Part of this will be fixed just by opening more on my own accord. Another part though is having better mechanics of openers… something I’m almost positive will be fixed during the bootcamp. I would say I’m 70% there in terms of opening, and I’m hoping the bootcamp will push me to the 100% mark, where I can open naturally and consistently going forward.

Sticking Points (Pt. 1)

Sticking Points and Progress
In the following posts, I’m going to attempt to dig into my current sticking points and to really analyze what’s holding me back from the next level. I’ve without a doubt progressed over the past few months, but in the process and come across a number of sticking points.

I feel that to a degree, I have overlooked these points or disregarded their significance, and I can feel the frustration boiling up from sweeping them under the rug. We’re currently on a plane en route to Thailand and I’ve had some time to think through them… I’ll try to go through them one by one as they come to mind, and hopefully I’m able to uproot all the issues, and how I feel about them.

Sydney (12/26)

Paintballs and Rats

After realizing on Christmas Eve that a major sticking point was the social anxiety of opening, M and I took off on an exercise with the goal of reducing social anxiety and desensitizing social pressure. As mentioned by Braddock , the best way to get over approach anxiety is through repitition and desensitization to sical anxiety.

The exercise was pretty simple. We went out in the day to the streets of Sydney and M would point out sets. I would have to approach the set with one of 2 openers (1. Is Miley Cyrus popular here or 2. I like paintballs and rats). Being that social anxiety was the goal, paintballs and rats was used 80% of the time.

We must have opened ~15 sets in the course of a few hours, from girls in malls, to girls in restaurants, and girls on the streets. To my surprise, girls were opening to paintballs and rats! Through reptition, I found a decent way to root it: me and my friend were discussing, and we said that even the most normal people like weird things, what are yours? I was so surprised when it worked, that I fumbled for the number close the 2nd time it opened. I was thinking… oh shit, it opened… it’s working! Quick, move on to the next piece

Also made it a point that i would have to transition with the Expressionate Face routine. This took huge pressure off of what to say next and was also tremendously helpful. All in all, I was able to close about 7-8 numbers, primarily using Paintballs and Rats. I did get blown out a few times, but started to get used to it. Id’ say the social pressure of staying in the set and following through with the opener was eeven more challenging than immediately getting blown out. I could feel my face burning up red in some of the setse! Nonetheless, even in those sets, they seemed to go pretty well.

Today was a big leap forward in getting decensitized to social pressure, and more importantly, realizing that girls can be opened with pretty much anything. The fact that I was able to pull so man y numbers was a huge surprise to me, and definitely taught me a thing or two about social pressure and opening.

The next step is to apply this in the night time. I still feel that this is an area that needs to be worked on. Even though theoretically day/night opening shouldn’t be too different, I still stumble on “what do I open with” at night? I think the problem is a bit deeper, so I’ll spend the next blog analyzing why I’m having issues opening at night, as well as maybe some deeper inner game issues that I need to deal with.

Sydney (12/24)

Sydney 12/24

Today was quite the epic failure and/or a hard lesson learned.

New Years Eve is apparently a huge drinking holiday in Australia, and we were fortunate enough to be staying with locals in a pretty fun/beachy area. Were guided to the local bar called the Newport Arms, and pretty much spent the entire afternoon/night there.

The Newport Arms on Christmas Eve is probably the definition of a PUAs wet dream. It was literally probably the perfect setting to game. The venue was big, with various different areas to move around, it was primarily outdoors, there was music but it wasn’t too loud, pretty much everyone was just standing around talking, and there were A LOT of 8+s. There were probably 40-50 dimes walking around the venue, and plenty of other cute girls.

What should have been the sweetest Christmas gift of all time actually turned out to be a bloody mess though. Me and M hadn’t realized it, but up till that point, the core problem of my AA had never really been addressed. That is, in the weeks prior, all the successful sets had either initially been opened by M, or the sets had opened us. From there, I would pick off my target with a mini-isolate, without ever really opening the set myself.

So when it came to the Newport Arms, my AA was crippling and I absolutely could not open any sets. It definitely didn’t help that the place was filled with hot girls, and I was completely overwhelmed by the situation. The times I did force myself to open, my inner game and confidence was such a mess and it completely showed in my subcommunications. The bottom line was that the social anxiety was too much for me t handle. Even though I gave M $100 for me to open 10 sets ($10 returned per set), I was only able to open 3 sets… in 8 hours!!!!

This was with M pushing me and sticking with me throughout the time.

Really bummer night which should have been epic. Looks like this problem is where all the focus is going to be going for a bit….