What did I learn:
(see Week 4 – Sunday)
Learning Tools for the Week?
- Braddock’s Inner Game Seminar
- Braddock’s Bootcamp
- Braddock’s SCM Seminar
- IVS 15: Taking Chances (Brad P. & Savoy)
- IVS 28: Highend Club Game (Mr. M & Sheriff)
- IVS 42: Advanced Attraction: Boundaries & Takeaways (Braddock & Daxx)
- IVS 40: Turning Things Sexual (Braddock & Kisser)
Where/When Did I go Out?
Count – 4
Tuesday: Guys & Dolls
Thursday: Off the Wagon
Friday: Bootcamp In-Field
Saturday: Bootcamp In-Field
Meet Anyone New?
- Carbeau
- Alex & Kenny (ACs)
Did I Live Up to my Expectations?
The bootcamp was a realignment of goals/things to work on. I didn’t notice it as much during the weekend, but looking back, I definitely added one more layer to my understanding of Game, particularly the attraction/qualification portions. See Week -4 for more detail.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Week 4 - Sunday
Man…
What a fucking weekend. My head is exploding with game information right now. I’ve learned a lot, and I’m absolutely exhausted. Here are the important things:
Things to Work On:
Inner Game
- I realize I tell myself negative stories with regards to opening hot girls. That is, the stories manifest themselves in the ideas that “they’ll be busy,” “they’re not into it,” “they’ll blow me out.” Essentially, the same stories I have eradicated for sets that aren’t super hot. However, when I dig back for the reference experiences, I can think of a number of sets that were hot, that opened just as well as anyone else. My RAS is focusing on the potential blow-outs instead of the successes, and I’m telling myself false stories. Stop!
Subcommunications
While I may have body language down, there are still a few things that were brought to my attention that I did not know about:
- Body ticks/twitches. I need to be cogniscent of any twitches I may be making before I say something, or any tapping of my feet in set. The easiest way to fix this is to focus on starting with bare minimum. That is, work on keeping my head un-moving, while holding my stance when I’m aiming to not be moving.
- Kill the quiet voice. I generally have 2 distinct volumes that I notice I use. One takes effort and is a loud, resonate voice, while the other is quieter and takes less energy. Up until the weekend, I thought the quiet was fine, but it seems it just comes off as nervous, weak, and all around bad. Kill the quiet voice.
- Sloooowww down. I talk to quickly and spurt words out. It sounds alright in my head, but I think it just flies over sometimes. This ends up being bad for the opener, and makes me sound nervous at other times.
- Sound natural. With some of the memorized lines, qualifiers and openers, it sounds too gamey, polished and unnatural. Focus on sounding genuine and natural.
With everything but the last point, it’s a matter of forming a new habit. As they say, new habits take 21-28 days to form… so for the next 21-28 days, I really need to be cogniscent to fixing those things. After that, like my body language, it should be something that stays fixed.
The last point is something that will need more work. Focus on being natural and not sounding polished… hopefully time fixes this problem, but I don’t have an exact solution at the moment.
Outer game
There were a few things that became evident over the weekend with the mechanics of my game. Moreover, there were a few points of understanding that I picked up which is awesome…
- Sexualization. Throw in a piece of sexualization EARLY. EARLY as in 3-5 minutes of the interaction. It can be anything, a marriage/divorce role-play, telling her she’d be horrible in bed, telling her you would not get along because it would be all fights and make-up sex. Just SOMETHING to get the conversation veered towards sex. EARLY!
- SOIs. Use SOIs (I like you because… or Even if I didn’t want to fuck you, you’d still be pretty cool to hang out with) to express intent.
- Yellow Lights. I can get the green lights. If I open and it’s a green light, I pounce and escalate and get on the right path. If it’s a yellow light, I’ve been pushing for too much rapport/conversation building/expanding, without ever jumping back into the attraction spikes/disqualification. Soooo… when opening a yellow light, build and expand rapport, but then jump back into disqualification whenever possible. Then when she converts to a green light, start physically escalating and isolate – the window won’t stay open forever!
- Isolate. Isolate more. When given the opportunity, isolate!
- Lead-in to Qualifiers. Throw in a lead-in to the qualifiers (i.e. “I think it’s really sexy when girls can _________________, do you __________________?”) Reward/relate accordingly
The overarching problem is this:
TAKE FUCKING CHANCES. BLOW ME OR BLOW ME OUT.
I’m still coming off as the nice, entertaining guy. Need to add that masculine edge. That is a combination of being more aggressive with physical escalation, and by throwing in sexual hoops EARLY and SOIs throughout the interaction. Moreover, past a point, it should be a consistent dialogue of how I’m attracted to her and how I like her… it shouldn’t just be limited to the SOIs.
The one thing I noticed throughout Braddock’s examples was that it was a usual thing for it to be made very clear that he thought she was sexy, attraction, hot and that he wanted her, that it would be a bad idea for them to be together etc… The bottom like was that she knew, based on his verbal and subcommunications that he thought she was sexy and that he wanted her. He keeps the verbal intent and SOIs going up all the way till make-out. I hardly ever do this, and this needs to change.
Those were the big light-bulb moments of things holding me back from breaking that next barrier of progression.
Break Habits:
Going to be breaking these habits:
- Going on The Attraction Forums (unless to post a review!) or the Lounge. I’m being over exposed to game, and need to pull the reigns back. Time on these forums are currently bringing no positive benefit, but adding many hours that I could be doing something else more productive
- Body language issues mentioned above
Week 4 - Saturday
Finished day 2 in-field. Here are the thoughts running through my head:
Things to fix immediately
- Be a fucking plant when in set. Picked up bad twitching and fidgeting habits from taking on Soul’s body language. DON’T MOVE.
- Forced seductive look is gamey. Don’t hold it during the opener.
- Work on opener. Deliver it as though you were commenting on a nice car. Can’t sound too polished… needs to be genuine but masculine, currently sounding too gamey and polished.
Realizations
- Don’t be clunky during the lock-in… make it as natural as possible
- I got to a point where I was warmed up, and I relaxed my cheek muscles and the super-high energy state went away, while the fire was still there. GOOD! For the first time, a merging of the attraction/qualification material and the sexy self
- That’s what it was!!! When I feel it… just drop the cheek muscles and think sexy thoughts.
- Push kino escalation when possible. If she’s not receptive to the tension building touch, use forced kino… i.e. high-5’s, pull in hugs.
- Threw in fun sexual jokes early on in the interaction… talking about how fucking would be good/bad etc…
Questions
What happens if they’re not receptive to the tension building kino?
Realized they would only watch so much of a set (up until it’s really hooked and you bounce). From there, the critique on body language helped but that’s about it. The content/rest at that point is based on self-diagnosis.
For that reason, focused more on going to help for help where I could get it (the opener).
Things to fix immediately
- Be a fucking plant when in set. Picked up bad twitching and fidgeting habits from taking on Soul’s body language. DON’T MOVE.
- Forced seductive look is gamey. Don’t hold it during the opener.
- Work on opener. Deliver it as though you were commenting on a nice car. Can’t sound too polished… needs to be genuine but masculine, currently sounding too gamey and polished.
Realizations
- Don’t be clunky during the lock-in… make it as natural as possible
- I got to a point where I was warmed up, and I relaxed my cheek muscles and the super-high energy state went away, while the fire was still there. GOOD! For the first time, a merging of the attraction/qualification material and the sexy self
- That’s what it was!!! When I feel it… just drop the cheek muscles and think sexy thoughts.
- Push kino escalation when possible. If she’s not receptive to the tension building touch, use forced kino… i.e. high-5’s, pull in hugs.
- Threw in fun sexual jokes early on in the interaction… talking about how fucking would be good/bad etc…
Questions
What happens if they’re not receptive to the tension building kino?
Realized they would only watch so much of a set (up until it’s really hooked and you bounce). From there, the critique on body language helped but that’s about it. The content/rest at that point is based on self-diagnosis.
For that reason, focused more on going to help for help where I could get it (the opener).
Week 4 - Friday
Just finished the in-field. Short thing about the seminar: Braddock is definitely making an effort to evolve typical bootcamp structure. More on that later, right now just want to get down notes for tonight for the debrief:
- Was ecstatic a week ago when I got the attraction/qualification cycling down, but now I’m back to a place of healthy frustration. It’s a tease not consistently being able to take it to the next level.
- Can typically build attraction and cycle through qualification consistently. Sometimes I do it better than others, and sometimes it gets a little too rapport based, but for the most part it’s at a decent place… especially during the first ¾ of the night.
- Started the night off not physically escalating enough, but towards the end, it was at a pretty decent place. Still need to clean up the later stages of kino, but I don’t think this is the main problem.
- Frustrating because sometimes getting the attraction/qualification cycling and being touchy is enough to get things fired up (it was good enough for 2 of the sets last night). Other times, the conversation is touchy and friendly, but still essentially plutonic.
- Exhausting because I find myself getting into a lot of 8-10 minute sets where I’m talking a lot and firing the big guns, but not getting to the point where I don’t have to be shooting 110%...
- Honestly, at this point I’d rather get blown out than wasting energy and getting stuck in no man’s land.
- Bottom line: Having trouble taking it from a friendly, even touchy, interaction to the next level where the fire really starts burning.
o Part of that being from not throwing hoops, and I’m guessing not giving strong enough SOIs. The SOIs I’m giving now are typically the “rewards/compliments” from qualification.
o Part of it is talking too quickly, and as a result, coming off too friendly/high energy, and not slow and sexy enough.
o Not isolating enough, which I find unusually difficult.
(Also need to stop opening Asian girls… not really what I’m going for right now even though they tend to love me)
- Was ecstatic a week ago when I got the attraction/qualification cycling down, but now I’m back to a place of healthy frustration. It’s a tease not consistently being able to take it to the next level.
- Can typically build attraction and cycle through qualification consistently. Sometimes I do it better than others, and sometimes it gets a little too rapport based, but for the most part it’s at a decent place… especially during the first ¾ of the night.
- Started the night off not physically escalating enough, but towards the end, it was at a pretty decent place. Still need to clean up the later stages of kino, but I don’t think this is the main problem.
- Frustrating because sometimes getting the attraction/qualification cycling and being touchy is enough to get things fired up (it was good enough for 2 of the sets last night). Other times, the conversation is touchy and friendly, but still essentially plutonic.
- Exhausting because I find myself getting into a lot of 8-10 minute sets where I’m talking a lot and firing the big guns, but not getting to the point where I don’t have to be shooting 110%...
- Honestly, at this point I’d rather get blown out than wasting energy and getting stuck in no man’s land.
- Bottom line: Having trouble taking it from a friendly, even touchy, interaction to the next level where the fire really starts burning.
o Part of that being from not throwing hoops, and I’m guessing not giving strong enough SOIs. The SOIs I’m giving now are typically the “rewards/compliments” from qualification.
o Part of it is talking too quickly, and as a result, coming off too friendly/high energy, and not slow and sexy enough.
o Not isolating enough, which I find unusually difficult.
(Also need to stop opening Asian girls… not really what I’m going for right now even though they tend to love me)
Week 4 - Wednesday/Thursday
I spent all of Wednesday commuting myself to NYC, and am currently waiting for Braddock’s Inner Game Seminar to start. Here are my goals for the weekend:
- Clean up physical, sexual escalation:
Main Goals
a.) Efficiency
b.) I usually find myself waiting till a point where she’s really attracted before I throw sexual escalation. And once I start throwing a medium hoop and it hits, I find myself following up with 2-3 other hoops within the next 5-10 minutes. The initial hoop, spacing and intensity of the hoops needs to be cleaned up.
c.) Use a lot of tension building physical escalation, but need to work on going for the big one. Maybe I could push the boundaries more, but we’ll see.
d.) Get a critique on my text-game
Secondary Goal:
a.) Expanding repertoire of attraction
- Currently very focused on teasing, ridiculous statements, bullshit answers
- Try to toss in a fantastical role-play in each interaction (great for call-back humor)
- More self-deprication/bragging,
- Start implementing takeaways, we can’t date
b.) Beginning to hash out more qualification/comfort
Long-Term Goals
- Focusing on SNLs
Went out tonight with a friend from high school. Ended up going to a dive bar new NYU. By the time I get there, him and his friends are already at the beer bong tables. I was able to spark attraction with most of the sets, but none really hooked. To be fair, it wasn’t really the most set rich place. Here’s a quick rundown:
Sets
1.) 2 girls my buddy has already been talking to. I tell them they look interesting, then transition out with them looking bored. I introduce myself. The girls respond but are really dry… I’m literally fighting to get attraction. We split up, and I catch the cuter one by her self later, watching her friend playing on the beer pong tables. I generate more attraction, get rapport going, and start qualifying. Her friend comes back and pulls her away, so it doesn’t really go anywhere. Never really got too far on the physical escalation either.
2.) Two girls hanging by the stairs. I open one, asking her if she’s drinking by herself, she says no and that she’s just waiting for her friend. We start bantering a little bit, but I lose steam and end up ejecting. A pity, because later in the night, I see 2 guys splitting them and hooking pretty well. Their technique is awful, and they could have taken it muucch farther :).
3.) 2 girls at the bar. Just for kicks, I open 2 girls by the bar (not attractive at all…). I build huge attraction, and could start qualifying/isolating, but I’m not interested. I just keep building attraction though, and I come back a couple times to keep building more attraction.
4.) A mixed set. I start chatting with the group, and we all get a long really well. I never actually go for the girl… fail.
5.) My buddy pulls me in to play beer pong with a girl. She’s actually really hot! I’m doing terribly at the game, and it’s tough to keep rapport during, so I end up talking to her friend. She’s actually really warm, but I keep getting pulled back into the game. By the end of it her friend is frustrated I haven’t played well, it all ends up being a mess, and they eject. Not well run at all :(.
6.) My buddy is talking to a mixed set by the bar, so I introduce myself in. Isolate with this one girl form the Midwest. I tease her about her tractor… then her cows… then the corn. LOL, I take it a bit too far, she’s I think a little offended. I break it by saying, “I hope you’re not offended. I actually think you’re really cool.” It works, but the set still doesn’t hit completely. A big part of it was I was joking around too much, and told them I was from Texas. Then I told her guy friends I was from California. Suddenly, i seem like a guy that’s full of crap.
That’s about it actually. Given the last week, not the most successful night. Still good though, I was able to open a decent amount of sets, given that it was a dive bar and there weren’t that many people. I’m pretty sure my state was a bit too amped (probably cuased by new environment, new city, etc…), which is probably why a lot didn’t hook.
Here are a few questions I had:
Questions:
I’ve been doing all my work at well-known LA clubs. This is pretty much my first time in a dive bar. It felt different…
- Didn’t feel as comfortable going direct. Overall, didn’t seem as much of a sexually charged environment
- Had the idea that the women were going there less to get hit on
- Seemed as though there was less assumed value in each of the sets
- Almost felt as though I had to work harder in each set
- All in my head? Not sure…
Unfortunate Realization
Staying with the friends I’m staying led me to an unfortunate realization. They’re both working in the field I’m going to be working in next year, and it was a not-so-kind reminder of how unpleasant the working lifestyle can be. That is, they have to be up every morning, tend to work pretty late, and have a lot less control of their life.
As the clock keeps ticking, it was another reminder of how much I need to make the most of these next few months. Not just in the sense that I have a great opportunity to really work on this, but in the sense that it’ll probably be one of the few times I’ll get to go out every night to truly enjoy myself without worrying about too much else. Life is fun now. This is a fun period. And as they say, all good things must come to an end.
The other half of the reminder was the realization was that I need to clean up my efficiency. I knew this before, but hanging out with my friends set this one in stone: I won’t have the time to fuck around and lounge during downtime. I need to start going in and being much more efficient. I find myself opening the sets now, but there tends to be downtime in between. No time for that!!!
Next year = SNL game + Efficiency
P.S. – I’m going to miss LA: it’s weather, the clubs, the feel and the girls.
That is all. Time to get ready for Braddock’s bootcamp.
Week 4 - Monday/Tuesday
Had to work on a project for Savoy on Monday, so I didn’t have the chance to go out.
Got to resume the schedule on Tuesday though, and went to Guys and Dolls. Took a bit longer to get in, but was able to make it through the doors by about 11:15. Place was just as sick as last week… the girls that come here on Tuesdays are fuckin’ hot! This place is 4.5/5 stars in my book. The only thing really holding is back is the layout… not a lot of places to move/isolate. Aside from that though, the crowd is great, the music and sound system is awesome etc…
Ran into Daxx, a student and a couple of his friends inside. Was cool chatting and getting to know him a bit better – really awesome, down to earth guy. Guys like him, who are the antithesis of the stigma that is “pick-up,” make me proud to be part of Love Systems.
Maybe it’s because I took a night off, or maybe it’s because the girls were so hot, but when I got there, I had a short bout of approach anxiety. After reminding myself of Future’s “the first 3 don’t count,” I went and opened 3 sets, and them boom!, most of the AA went away. An hour into the night, it was pretty much all gone :). I’ve noticed that I am getting to my sweet spot more quickly each time I go out. In the past, if it came at all, I would be in a good state towards the end of the night. Now, I find myself being able to reach that awesome place even after just a few sets.
Attraction/Qualification as well as my subcommunications are cleaning up a lot just through repetition. I’m finding that even if I don’t’ focus on fixing them, just through sheer repetition, they tend to be fixing themselves. I think I will still need to make a conscious effort to work on including other types of attraction though (i.e. more role-playing, self-deprecation etc…)
To be honest, I really didn’t open as many sets as I would have liked… probably less than 6. There’s decent reason for this though. Pretty early into the night, I was able to hook a set that I got really into, and spent the majority of night working out a way to get with her. The set went like this:
One of the guys is in set with this girl,, and being the good buddy I am, I wing her Indian friend. Not attracted to her, but I do the usual attraction building (no qualification). It actually hooks, the interaction is going pretty well, when he friend shows up. Her friend, who is actually attractive, peaks my interest sooo… I turn and start talking to her :).
Main Set
I honestly don’t remember too much about what I said in the first few minutes. I know I cold read that she wasn’t from LA. She was actually, though she went to school up north at Berkeley (smart girl!). She asks why though, and I tell her that it’s because she seems a lot more down to earth. Being for NorCal, we naturally talk a bit about the north. After I tell her she’s down to earth, she actually starts qualifying how she’s not usually a club girl and she doesn’t hang out around the scene too much.
She mentions something about being emotional, to which I go… “girls? Emotional? No way…” She says something about being intuitive and I say the same thing. I accuse of her feeding truisms and she laughs. Got a few social intuition points there!
When we move into qualification, I ask her what else she does for fun. She snowboards, surfs, goes to the movies. I latch onto the fact that she surfs, and start talking about it the way I usually do (i.e. not a competitive sport, but a way to forget about the rest of the world etc…).
Shortly after this, I remember this part:
Her: “you know, you’re really cute”
Me: “thanks”
Her: “no really, you’re a really good looking… especially for an asian guy. I don’t usually date asian guys.”
Me: “yeah.. you know what? You too… I’m not usually attracted to black girls, but there’s something about you.”
Her: (cracks up)
By this point, I’ve started to escalate. I’m talking really close to her, massaging her hands, running my nails around her back, etc…
Her friend comes over, and she tells her friend “he’s really cute.” I bounce her inside to the dance floor, but her fuckin’ friend follows me in. Cunt!! I can feel myself losing value as they’re talking so I leave. I make a lap, and when I’m outside, she’s back out, and another dudes doing his thing. Boo.
I open other sets, but keep an eye out for her. I watch her get hit on by one other dude outside. Then towards 1:30, I catch her inside by the bar, with another dude hitting on her. Just by looking at him, I don’t think he has any game, so I talk to my buddy, and just wait it out. When I get the green light that he’s been blown out, I re-open.
Me: “Hey, I’m not done flirting with you yet.”
We get back into conversation. She tells me I’m really cool and asks me what sign I am. I go… “really?” I tell her I’m a Leo. She’s a something else, but apparently we’re supposed to be really tight, and thus she says “no wonder I like you.” Sounds like a girl much? Lol.
I ask her where her bracelets are from, she says some random store. I say I thought they were travel bracelets, and I talk about mind (giving investment!!!), and we talk about that. All the while I’m continuing to physically escalate. Then the big guns start coming out. In no particular order, I was able to get these all out:
- “You know… I don’t normally meet girls in clubs, but you’re actually really cool. I like that you have a personality.”
- “When I first saw you, I thought you’d be just another one of those LA girls, but now that I’ve actually gotten to know you, you’re actually really cool.”
- “You’re interesting, even if I didn’t’ want to fuck you, you’d still be pretty fun to hang out with.”
- “I want to warn you. I am voracious. I am an animal.”
- “You’re making me think bad thoughts.”
She wouldn’t kiss me, saying she doesn’t kiss guys in clubs, so I bite her neck. She put her hand near my chest so I grab it and put one of her finger in my mouth, running my teeth across it (to which she responds, “you’re naughty.”). Then she kisses me. Towards the end of the night, she’s telling me that I better take her number before she leaves, that I better call her to hang out / chill / or at the very least to be friends. I tell her I’m not interested in being friends with her. She laughs.
She has me dip her before I leave. I do… she spills her drink and knocks her friends phone out of her hand. LOL.
Frame Control
I’ve gotten really good at holding my frame off the opener. One of the girls asked my buddy if an opener was a line. We then plowed through it, and started talking about the craziest things she’s heard. Then I cold read and we go into normal conversation. Then boom! It’s like it never happened.
I’m talking to two girls, one of them spills her drink and bit and I say “… and that’s why we can’t have nice things.” She goes “your friend said that!” and I calmly go “yeahh, really good buddy… we tend to say the same things, isn’t that funny how that works?” The girl actually finishes off my sentence, agreeing with me. Not only did I hold a strong frame, but I was also able to actually turn it into some attraction by displaying an understanding of social intuition.
I’m starting off a conversation and catch myself asking a 2 boring initialisms (what do you do, where are you from etc…) in a short time span. She begins to answer, but I cut her off and go, yeah… you know those questions “so where are you from? What do you do? Where’d you go to school? Can I buy you a drink? Can I buy you 10? How about an apartment?” She starts cracking up.
Cool Thought
I had a pretty cool realization at the end of the night. That is:
I can talk to girls.
I can talk to girls! I am confident in my ability to hold conversation with girls. I can get them laughing and for the most part, can keep things interesting. Developing my game is still a work in progress, but the realization above is a milestone in itself. It used to be… I don’t know how to old a conversation, I don’t know what to say, I need a huge stack of routines to keep things going.
Got to resume the schedule on Tuesday though, and went to Guys and Dolls. Took a bit longer to get in, but was able to make it through the doors by about 11:15. Place was just as sick as last week… the girls that come here on Tuesdays are fuckin’ hot! This place is 4.5/5 stars in my book. The only thing really holding is back is the layout… not a lot of places to move/isolate. Aside from that though, the crowd is great, the music and sound system is awesome etc…
Ran into Daxx, a student and a couple of his friends inside. Was cool chatting and getting to know him a bit better – really awesome, down to earth guy. Guys like him, who are the antithesis of the stigma that is “pick-up,” make me proud to be part of Love Systems.
Maybe it’s because I took a night off, or maybe it’s because the girls were so hot, but when I got there, I had a short bout of approach anxiety. After reminding myself of Future’s “the first 3 don’t count,” I went and opened 3 sets, and them boom!, most of the AA went away. An hour into the night, it was pretty much all gone :). I’ve noticed that I am getting to my sweet spot more quickly each time I go out. In the past, if it came at all, I would be in a good state towards the end of the night. Now, I find myself being able to reach that awesome place even after just a few sets.
Attraction/Qualification as well as my subcommunications are cleaning up a lot just through repetition. I’m finding that even if I don’t’ focus on fixing them, just through sheer repetition, they tend to be fixing themselves. I think I will still need to make a conscious effort to work on including other types of attraction though (i.e. more role-playing, self-deprecation etc…)
To be honest, I really didn’t open as many sets as I would have liked… probably less than 6. There’s decent reason for this though. Pretty early into the night, I was able to hook a set that I got really into, and spent the majority of night working out a way to get with her. The set went like this:
One of the guys is in set with this girl,, and being the good buddy I am, I wing her Indian friend. Not attracted to her, but I do the usual attraction building (no qualification). It actually hooks, the interaction is going pretty well, when he friend shows up. Her friend, who is actually attractive, peaks my interest sooo… I turn and start talking to her :).
Main Set
I honestly don’t remember too much about what I said in the first few minutes. I know I cold read that she wasn’t from LA. She was actually, though she went to school up north at Berkeley (smart girl!). She asks why though, and I tell her that it’s because she seems a lot more down to earth. Being for NorCal, we naturally talk a bit about the north. After I tell her she’s down to earth, she actually starts qualifying how she’s not usually a club girl and she doesn’t hang out around the scene too much.
She mentions something about being emotional, to which I go… “girls? Emotional? No way…” She says something about being intuitive and I say the same thing. I accuse of her feeding truisms and she laughs. Got a few social intuition points there!
When we move into qualification, I ask her what else she does for fun. She snowboards, surfs, goes to the movies. I latch onto the fact that she surfs, and start talking about it the way I usually do (i.e. not a competitive sport, but a way to forget about the rest of the world etc…).
Shortly after this, I remember this part:
Her: “you know, you’re really cute”
Me: “thanks”
Her: “no really, you’re a really good looking… especially for an asian guy. I don’t usually date asian guys.”
Me: “yeah.. you know what? You too… I’m not usually attracted to black girls, but there’s something about you.”
Her: (cracks up)
By this point, I’ve started to escalate. I’m talking really close to her, massaging her hands, running my nails around her back, etc…
Her friend comes over, and she tells her friend “he’s really cute.” I bounce her inside to the dance floor, but her fuckin’ friend follows me in. Cunt!! I can feel myself losing value as they’re talking so I leave. I make a lap, and when I’m outside, she’s back out, and another dudes doing his thing. Boo.
I open other sets, but keep an eye out for her. I watch her get hit on by one other dude outside. Then towards 1:30, I catch her inside by the bar, with another dude hitting on her. Just by looking at him, I don’t think he has any game, so I talk to my buddy, and just wait it out. When I get the green light that he’s been blown out, I re-open.
Me: “Hey, I’m not done flirting with you yet.”
We get back into conversation. She tells me I’m really cool and asks me what sign I am. I go… “really?” I tell her I’m a Leo. She’s a something else, but apparently we’re supposed to be really tight, and thus she says “no wonder I like you.” Sounds like a girl much? Lol.
I ask her where her bracelets are from, she says some random store. I say I thought they were travel bracelets, and I talk about mind (giving investment!!!), and we talk about that. All the while I’m continuing to physically escalate. Then the big guns start coming out. In no particular order, I was able to get these all out:
- “You know… I don’t normally meet girls in clubs, but you’re actually really cool. I like that you have a personality.”
- “When I first saw you, I thought you’d be just another one of those LA girls, but now that I’ve actually gotten to know you, you’re actually really cool.”
- “You’re interesting, even if I didn’t’ want to fuck you, you’d still be pretty fun to hang out with.”
- “I want to warn you. I am voracious. I am an animal.”
- “You’re making me think bad thoughts.”
She wouldn’t kiss me, saying she doesn’t kiss guys in clubs, so I bite her neck. She put her hand near my chest so I grab it and put one of her finger in my mouth, running my teeth across it (to which she responds, “you’re naughty.”). Then she kisses me. Towards the end of the night, she’s telling me that I better take her number before she leaves, that I better call her to hang out / chill / or at the very least to be friends. I tell her I’m not interested in being friends with her. She laughs.
She has me dip her before I leave. I do… she spills her drink and knocks her friends phone out of her hand. LOL.
Frame Control
I’ve gotten really good at holding my frame off the opener. One of the girls asked my buddy if an opener was a line. We then plowed through it, and started talking about the craziest things she’s heard. Then I cold read and we go into normal conversation. Then boom! It’s like it never happened.
I’m talking to two girls, one of them spills her drink and bit and I say “… and that’s why we can’t have nice things.” She goes “your friend said that!” and I calmly go “yeahh, really good buddy… we tend to say the same things, isn’t that funny how that works?” The girl actually finishes off my sentence, agreeing with me. Not only did I hold a strong frame, but I was also able to actually turn it into some attraction by displaying an understanding of social intuition.
I’m starting off a conversation and catch myself asking a 2 boring initialisms (what do you do, where are you from etc…) in a short time span. She begins to answer, but I cut her off and go, yeah… you know those questions “so where are you from? What do you do? Where’d you go to school? Can I buy you a drink? Can I buy you 10? How about an apartment?” She starts cracking up.
Cool Thought
I had a pretty cool realization at the end of the night. That is:
I can talk to girls.
I can talk to girls! I am confident in my ability to hold conversation with girls. I can get them laughing and for the most part, can keep things interesting. Developing my game is still a work in progress, but the realization above is a milestone in itself. It used to be… I don’t know how to old a conversation, I don’t know what to say, I need a huge stack of routines to keep things going.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Week 2/3 - Reflection
Jeez, started slow but ended up being a crazy two weeks… and it’s only going to get crazier:
What did I learn?
Considering it was a bootcamp week with a different instructor… quite a bit! Here are a few bullet points:
- Attraction and qualification are built on the foundation of normal conversation. You NEED to give investment in the conversation, or you’ll get a reaction, but the interaction will fall on it’s face.
- Moving the girl around matters more than I thought. I need to be more conscious about moving girls in various parts of the venue, which have different visual/auditory senses. The more moves the better. I knew the theory, but not the extent of its importance.
- Expanded my understanding of comfort. There tends to be less cutting-edge material on comfort out there, and it was good to get a solid overview by Future during the BC.
- Some cool follow-up texts to send within 30-120 minutes of leaving the set.
- Some new physical escalation moves from Big Business, which I’ve never seen before.
- The difference between tension building touch, and the next level of sustaining touch longer and going for the bigger moves.
- A different way of breaking down attraction (primarily breaking it down into disqualification themes).
- Techniques on how to be funny.
- A better way to story tell, setup a date and organize your room.
Learning Tools for the Week(s)?
- Future’s Bootcamp
- Big Business’s Humor/Improv/Attraction Seminar
- IVS 36: Game in Everyday Life (Big Business & Prestige)
- IVS 35: Humor (Braddock & Cajun)
- IVS 42: Takeaways and Boundaries (Braddock & Daxx)
- IVS 25: How to Become an Alpha Male (Mr. M, Braddock & Sheriff)
- IVS 47: Overcoming Physical Obstacles (Mr. M & Keychain)
Where/When Did I go Out (Week 3)?
Count – 6
Tuesday: Guys & Dolls
Wednesday: MyHouse
Thursday: College party
Friday: Bootcamp In-field
Saturday: Bootcamp In-field
Sunday: Crown Bar
Where/When Did I go Out (Week 2)?
Count – 4
Wednesday: Les Deux
Thursday: Les Deux & MyHouse
Friday: Haute
Saturday: Busby’s
Meet anyone new?
- Future and Big Business
- Dubbsy and Calabrese
- Jason from Guys and Dolls. Guy is supposedly a walking ticket into anywhere in Hollywood.
- Bouncers and Guys and Dolls (Dwayne, Michael and one other guy)
- Promoter for MyHouse and Kress and his friend
- Dave who works the door at Crown Bar
Did I live up to my expectations?
As Future would say: “Hellllll yea”
Week 2 and 3 have been a rollercoaster. Up until about the middle of week 3, I was plagued with the attraction sticking point, and getting frustrated as fuck. I was doing everything right in terms of learning the right way, opening and putting in the effort, but my sets weren’t hooking and it was bumming me out.
Nonetheless, I kept pushing the barrier and looking for solutions. The week consisted of doing conversation blocks (writing out mock conversations) everyday for an hour, as well as opening as many sets as I could each night. A big highlight of the 3rd week was that I went out alone for the first time (twice!). From this, I saw firsthand how much can be learned when you go out alone, and that it even ends up being more efficient in a lot of ways than going out with a wing (more efficient but less enjoyable).
I learned how to be systematic in my approach during week 3, and did everything in a very structured way - from working on SCM the second I got to the club, to then going and opening set after set after set. Btw, structure doesn’t equal robot… I still view girls as people, and love them as such :).
Through opening all the sets these 2 weeks, I’ve hammered down AA to a pretty much manageable level. After the first 1-2 sets, it’s pretty much gone, and after the 3-4 set, I’m able to really start focusing on running as best a game as I can. Moreover, I’ve cemented my direct opener in stone. I’m so comfortable and congruent with it now that it hits almost every time. Even the times that it doesn’t hit as hard, I still get into conversation, and it’s as though I had just said hi.
While going through the 2 weeks, progression felt slow, but finally, at the end of Week 3 tempo started to change. Beginning with my talk with Bonsai at the end of the Thursday workday, I had a lighbulb moment about my attraction sticking point. That is, I learned to give investment in the conversation and lay the foundation for the emotional progression model to build upon.
With that in mind, I was able to pull a “result” on Thursday when I was out at a college party. Looking back, there are still things I could have done better, but for the most part, I ran solid game, and the rewards spoke for themselves. She was cute, and a really cool girl, but I’m still not appeased. It’s not so much a hunger to get with as many women as possible as it is a thirst for knowledge and being able to really develop an understanding of all this. I’ve ended the point in my life where meeting beautiful women is a game of chance, and I am grabbing life by the horns.
Friday to Sunday of the bootcamp, I was able to barrel through the attraction sticking point, and really laid the foundation for doing it properly. The foundation is in place, the teases are coming out naturally, but looking at it, it can definitely be cleaned up. I’m currently focusing a lot on ridiculous statements, misinterpretations and teases. Clean-up would include widening the type of disqualification I’m using, such as including more self-deprecation, takeaways etc…
While that will be a work in progress, the next big hurdle is implementing SOIs, sexual hoops and a general masculinity into what I’m doing now. It’s ironic, I really tapped into my masculine core during Mr. M’s bootcamp, and I know exactly what needs to be done. At this point, it’s a matter of melding the two major things I’ve learned from Future & Mr. M’s into one. That is, taking the attraction I can attribute to Future and Big Business and combining it with the inner shift of sexuality and masculinity I learned from Mr. M. Like I said, I know what to, it’s just a matter of repetition to get it working properly.
This sticking point shouldn’t be nearly as frustrating as the attraction one. I feel the attraction sticking point was in large part a mechanical issue. That is, I didn’t know what I was doing wrong, and it didn’t really click until I talked to Bonsai. On the other hand, for SOIs and sexualization, I know what I should be saying, it’s just a matter of saying it!
Good things are happening. Really interesting period in my life… my brain is having a mental orgasm every few days as I work out more and more of this stuff. Once I get the sexualization/SOIs integrated, I imagine that I’ll start having some real fun :). I’m already starting to see the rewards from all the effort (in more ways than one), and I’m certain there is more to come.
M schedule been solidified for the next 3 weeks. Braddock’s Inner Game, SCM and Bootcamp in NY this week, Cajun/Tenmagnet’s Bootcamp the following week in Vancouver, and then working Future’s Bootcamp and hopefully sitting in on his Breakthrough Comfort seminar in Vegas the weekend after.
Really can’t wait to see myself at the end of these next 3 weeks.
Gotta keep bringing the fuckin’ heat. 3 weeks down, 14 more to go. I’m just getting started :).
Week 3 - Sunday
Seminar
So the debrief today was really helpful. I talked about how I pulled off the direct opener pretty much every time, and more importantly, how I was consistently cycling through attraction and qualification. Future hit the missing piece right on the head when he started talking about SOI and expressing sexual intent.
He’s right, I’m getting attraction… sometimes really quickly, and the girls are interesting, but because I’m not making my sexual intent concrete, it begins to look like I’m pussyfooting around it and the set stales out. Ironically, this is something I had started to do after Mr. M’s bootcamp (a lot), but it seems to have been lost during the implementation of attraction/qualification.
The next big goal is pretty clear, on top of building attraction and cycling qualification, I need to start putting in hard, sexual SOIs and getting those in place. Things should start to get really fun when I get this next piece in place.
The rest of the seminar was really good. Big Business flew home so it was just Future flying solo today. We went through comfort, which was money! The way Future has comfort broken down is awesome, and it’s clear why he’s able to hook his girls so hard (past seduction). Every time he touched scratched the surface of the breakthrough comfort material, inside I was going “keep going, keep going!!!”
We also went through a number of electives throughout the day (i.e. day game, phone & text, dates etc…).
I talked to Future at the end of the seminar, and got the green light to help out at his next BC. It’ll be a test period, which is fine, because I’ll definitely be bringing the fuckin’ heat :). Las Vegas here I come!
Evening
Went out with E.B. that night to the Crowne Bar. We get there and see Paparazzi outside… interesting. Anyway, we make it inside, and while we’re in the patio, I turn over and see a really tall lanky guy in a furry hat. It’s Mystery himself, along with Matador.
I was able to open a set and get a number, but actually had to head back to the apartment due to some emergency. Bummer! Looked like it would have been a fun night too, the place was getting pretty busy as we left.
So the debrief today was really helpful. I talked about how I pulled off the direct opener pretty much every time, and more importantly, how I was consistently cycling through attraction and qualification. Future hit the missing piece right on the head when he started talking about SOI and expressing sexual intent.
He’s right, I’m getting attraction… sometimes really quickly, and the girls are interesting, but because I’m not making my sexual intent concrete, it begins to look like I’m pussyfooting around it and the set stales out. Ironically, this is something I had started to do after Mr. M’s bootcamp (a lot), but it seems to have been lost during the implementation of attraction/qualification.
The next big goal is pretty clear, on top of building attraction and cycling qualification, I need to start putting in hard, sexual SOIs and getting those in place. Things should start to get really fun when I get this next piece in place.
The rest of the seminar was really good. Big Business flew home so it was just Future flying solo today. We went through comfort, which was money! The way Future has comfort broken down is awesome, and it’s clear why he’s able to hook his girls so hard (past seduction). Every time he touched scratched the surface of the breakthrough comfort material, inside I was going “keep going, keep going!!!”
We also went through a number of electives throughout the day (i.e. day game, phone & text, dates etc…).
I talked to Future at the end of the seminar, and got the green light to help out at his next BC. It’ll be a test period, which is fine, because I’ll definitely be bringing the fuckin’ heat :). Las Vegas here I come!
Evening
Went out with E.B. that night to the Crowne Bar. We get there and see Paparazzi outside… interesting. Anyway, we make it inside, and while we’re in the patio, I turn over and see a really tall lanky guy in a furry hat. It’s Mystery himself, along with Matador.
I was able to open a set and get a number, but actually had to head back to the apartment due to some emergency. Bummer! Looked like it would have been a fun night too, the place was getting pretty busy as we left.
Week 3 - Saturday
Seminar
So we debriefed and I put some thought into the night before. Here’s what I came up with:
- Realizing that I’m going in and building and building and building attraction. It’s not necessarily adding to how she attracted she is, it’s just more of the same. After a while, the set gets boring and the spark dies.
- Even if I roll into qualification earlier, I can get through the questions pretty quickly, but there are times where the set still gets boring and the spark dies.
- I think what is missing is sexualization and/or the SOIs.
- Now that the natural foundation of building attraction is there, it’s time to start integrating and cleaning up the attraction material.
- When I’m in the attraction phase, I’m speaking too quickly… need to slow down to think better, and focus more on being “seductive.” This should help with looking less try-hard, and to help in making her work for it more.
For the seminar, Big Business taught attraction, for which he went through his 10 themes of disqualification, and Future taught qualification. Big Business also taught physical/sexual escalation. I really liked a couple of the moves he would use, such as the pulling in by the jacketcoat and the jeans pockets. Can’t wait to try those. Then at the very end, there was a conversation/storytelling exercise.
In-Field
The in-field ended up being another really productive night. I won’t give a detailed breakdown of each set, since there were quite a few of them, and I’ve got a lot of work/blogging to do, but here are the main ones:
1.) 2 travelers (German dn UK): Bonsai points them out on the dance floor so I go an open them semi-direct. Start buildling attraction pretty quickly, and I’m literally holding court and going between them for 5-10 minutes. Realizing I don’t have a wing, and won’t have a wing, I tell them we’ll meet later and eject.
Run into them later outside, and open them again. This time, Bonsai wings, but goes after the wrong girl! Oops, entirely my fault, I should have made it more clear, but I do still think it was pretty funny. Anyway, I isolate my girl and cycle through solid attraction and qualification. Move her inside, but her friend comes back, so I close her number.
This girl was fuckin’ into it, if I had escalated harder, I’m sure I could have gotten more.
2.) 2 Asians by the pillar. First set of the night, I go in semi-direct, and they are hesistant at first, but open up quickly. Build attraction with them actually really quickly, but I’m not terribly attracted so I close one of the girl’s number, talk for a bit more, then eject.
3.) Nurse and not-so-cute-friend: Open a group of 2 girls walking by direct – they walk past, I turn around and chase them like Soul would, turn them around and go “You guys are way too fuckin cute, I had to come talk to you.” It opens, I isolate, and one of the ACs comes to wing. It’s going decent with my girl, we’re getting conversation, and I’m building attraction, though I could have done a better job with this one.
The AC loses traction with his girl, which I don’t blame him for, she was a Class-A grenade, and my girl seeing her friend staring at her with the “let’s go” look, ejects. They actually re-open me later, while I’m in set with the girl from the UK. I pull in a random guy to wing, and it turns into a fuckin’ nightmare. Guy turns out to be a creep, and I end up having to move them all around to “save them.”
I build value through doing this, but when it’s all said and done, I’m unable to isolate with the nurse, whom I liked the most out of the 3. End up getting stuck with the UK girl, who wasn’t even my target to begin with! Actually really funny in hindsight.
4.) Cute Asian girl towards the end of the night (literally, with 10 minutes to go). This set actually had enough technicality for it to be worthwhile to breakdown.
She’s in a group of 5-6, and I open her direct. I immediately mini-isolate her and lock in against the wall. She’s facing me, and all her friends are socializing and doing their own thing. I cold read that she’s not from LA… she is in fact, though she’s now at UCI (Asian at UCI? No.. fucking.. way..).
I tease her for being a bookworm and find out what else she does for fun. We talk about the East Coast, and how she likes it more. We talk about why people like things that are different and a few other things. Throughout all this, there are teases that are going through to build attraction.
More importantly, I’m physically escalating a lot harder than I normally do. That is, I start with the usual tension-buildling touch, but then transition into holding her hand, interlocking my hand in hers and so forth.
Also another unique thing about the set, she throws a shit test at me, asking me if I always go up to girls and tell them they’re georgous. Then she throws another shit test telling me I’m drunk. Here’s how it rolls:
Her: So do you always go up to girls and tell them they’re georgous? (shit-test #1)
Me: No, only the ones that I really like
Her: I don’t believe you! (shit-test again)
Me: Yeah, you’re right, I tell everyone actually. (I yes-anded that shit!) See that black guy walking by? I’m two steps away from telling him the same thing too.
Her: I just think you’re really drunk (shit-test #2)
Me: Mmm.. no, I’m actually not drinking tonight
Her: Yeah you are..
Me: No seriously, I’m not drunk. I actually think you’re really cute and that’s why I’m talking to you.
Her: I can see it in your eyes, they’re like crooked and glazed over (shit-test again)
Me: “Now you’re criticizing my eyes? That’s fuckin’ rude.” And I back turn her really hard (takeaway!!!)
Her: She grabs my shoulder and turns me around “No! That’s not what I meant!” (it worked!!)
Me: Yeah.. not drunk. What about you? You seem pretty drunk... Those 2 drinks hit you pretty hard didn’t they? (and… back into attraction)
Her: Hhaha no! I had 5 (and now she’s qualifying herself)
Me: You mean.. 5 minus 3.. I thought Asians were supposed to be good at math
Me: Anyway, what are you guys doing after
Her: Mmmm, we’re probably going back to Irvine
Me: Alright, well I’ve got about 10 minutes to flirt with you
A bit after that she tells me that she really needs to go entertain her friends (I actually believe her), and I give her my phone to close her number. She types me her number and tells me her name.
At some point, her girlfriend comes and opens me. I immediately start rapport, talking about UCI and their “zot-zot” anteater hand symbol. She laughs and asks me if I’m a gentleman. I say that I try, and she laughs and goes back to her group. As she’s walking back, I ask her if I pass her test, and she says yes. Fuck that, I’m getting some pre-selection out of this, so I hold out my hand and high-five her for the girl I’m talking to to see.
Lotsa good stuff going on in that set. Had the opportunity to deal with shit-tests, takeaways and I got to be really straight forward with my SOIs too. On top of that, it was a big group to open and I felt I did a good job pulling the girl out of it.
The last big point was that during the end of the night, my subcommunications had calmed down tremendously. I was talking slowly, and the things I was saying had a much more sexual and controlled tempo. The tempo was a lot more like the way I remember Mr. M running his sets. It took a full night of sets, but that’s the new state to aim for… there should be no reason I can’t be like that all the time.
For your entertainment, here is my most enjoyable conversation of the night. Girl was a tall, hot, dark-haired girl. It went something like this:
Me: Hey, you are absolutely fuckin’ gorgeous. I’m Andrew
Her: Hiii I’m ______________________.
Me: You know your outfit looks like you should be dancing on stage.
Her: Hhahaha. You’d better get going, my boyfriend is coming back, and he’s going to be really angry. (Some sort of Eastern European accent).
Me: Oh really? Your boyfriend?
Her: Yeah
Me: Can he see us?
Her: No, but he’s coming back.
Me: Oh, how long do I have?
Her: About 30 seconds
Me: Okay, I’ll make the most of it to competently flirt with you
Her: (speechless)
Me: Soooo..… you wanna get out of here?
She looks at me, turns to walk away, I turn her back, give her a look, and we both start cracking up hardcore. Hilarious.
Week 3 - Friday
Future BC today. I’m writing this in the morning. Here’s what I’m looking to get out of it:
- Getting comfortable naturally teasing and building attraction. Telling more about my experiences and myself and providing the necessary runway for the routines/lines to come out.
Really, this has been my sticking point for long enough, and I’m looking to get over it once and for good.
So attended Day 1 of Future’s bootcamp with Big Business. Future is a genius and is also incredibly funny. Let me re-emphasize, the guy is incredibly funny and also really motivating. Coupled with Big Business, the seminar was full of laughts… the two of them vibe so well together it’s super entertaining to watch. Day 1 consisted of good frameworks to have (inner game), as well as a number of key things to keep in mind / do to learn efficiently. Then Big Business went into openers/transitions.
The most money part was when Future interjected and talked about how you always need to be talking… especially at the beginning. He said to talk about anything, that literally you had to have a largely disproportional conversation, and at the end of the day, it didn’t’ matter too much about what you said, as long as you said something. Definitely a reverberation of what Thanh and I talked about on Thursday (i.e. giving investment, talking about yourself, and building a foundation for the Emotional Progression Model to build itself on), but damn it was good to hear it again.
So we went into field and it was sets galore. I opened quite a few of them, and it seems like my talk with Thanh and Future’s talk on disproportionately driving the conversation really hit the spot. My sets weren’t stalling out and I was pretty much always getting attraction! FUCK. YES.
Yeah, one more time. FUCK. YES.
This has been a frustrating nightmare for the past couple weeks, and the fact that I’m starting to get a big handle on it is a milestone moment fo sho. So I keep plowing through sets and building attraction, over and over and over again. I feel like a little kid with two flint sticks, just sparking them like there’s no tomorrow. At some point though, I realize I need to be doing more… everything else I used to do seems to have gone out the window for the time being.
I get Big Business to come observe one of my sets and he notices that I’m building attraction fine, but suggests that I need to start qualifying and toning down my energy after I have attraction. In other words, it seems as though I’m working waaayyy too hard past the point where I get attraction, and I just need to calm down, and start letting her do some of the work. I can feel it too… I’m way more high energy when I’m doing the attraction building, than I used to be without the attraction building skillset.
Funny, qualifying was what I would jump right into before, but I’d been focusing so much on attraction, I wasn’t doing it very well. So I started putting in qualification hoops and started getting used to cycling it with the new attraction technique. It integrated pretty well, and by the end of the night I was able to go through attraction and then the various hoops until I hit a wall in the interaction (more on that tomorrow).
Not a bad night overall… didn’t’ really hook a set I was terribly attracted to but I really got the chance to work on building attraction. Even looking back on my blogs from Tuesday/Wednesday, being able to do that is monumental…
My direct openers are pretty much rock solid at this point. Pretty much all the sets open, and I’m consistently able to convert hesitant reactions into conversations (hesitant reactions are also becoming pretty rare at this point). In fact, I now find myself liking getting pulled into a conversation by a wing less, because I don’t have the added plus-points/benefits of having gone direct. A couple months ago, the opposite was true, as getting pulled into a set meant instant conversation, and me not having to open :).
All in all good night. A big chunk of the block to success came tumbling down tonight.
- Getting comfortable naturally teasing and building attraction. Telling more about my experiences and myself and providing the necessary runway for the routines/lines to come out.
Really, this has been my sticking point for long enough, and I’m looking to get over it once and for good.
So attended Day 1 of Future’s bootcamp with Big Business. Future is a genius and is also incredibly funny. Let me re-emphasize, the guy is incredibly funny and also really motivating. Coupled with Big Business, the seminar was full of laughts… the two of them vibe so well together it’s super entertaining to watch. Day 1 consisted of good frameworks to have (inner game), as well as a number of key things to keep in mind / do to learn efficiently. Then Big Business went into openers/transitions.
The most money part was when Future interjected and talked about how you always need to be talking… especially at the beginning. He said to talk about anything, that literally you had to have a largely disproportional conversation, and at the end of the day, it didn’t’ matter too much about what you said, as long as you said something. Definitely a reverberation of what Thanh and I talked about on Thursday (i.e. giving investment, talking about yourself, and building a foundation for the Emotional Progression Model to build itself on), but damn it was good to hear it again.
So we went into field and it was sets galore. I opened quite a few of them, and it seems like my talk with Thanh and Future’s talk on disproportionately driving the conversation really hit the spot. My sets weren’t stalling out and I was pretty much always getting attraction! FUCK. YES.
Yeah, one more time. FUCK. YES.
This has been a frustrating nightmare for the past couple weeks, and the fact that I’m starting to get a big handle on it is a milestone moment fo sho. So I keep plowing through sets and building attraction, over and over and over again. I feel like a little kid with two flint sticks, just sparking them like there’s no tomorrow. At some point though, I realize I need to be doing more… everything else I used to do seems to have gone out the window for the time being.
I get Big Business to come observe one of my sets and he notices that I’m building attraction fine, but suggests that I need to start qualifying and toning down my energy after I have attraction. In other words, it seems as though I’m working waaayyy too hard past the point where I get attraction, and I just need to calm down, and start letting her do some of the work. I can feel it too… I’m way more high energy when I’m doing the attraction building, than I used to be without the attraction building skillset.
Funny, qualifying was what I would jump right into before, but I’d been focusing so much on attraction, I wasn’t doing it very well. So I started putting in qualification hoops and started getting used to cycling it with the new attraction technique. It integrated pretty well, and by the end of the night I was able to go through attraction and then the various hoops until I hit a wall in the interaction (more on that tomorrow).
Not a bad night overall… didn’t’ really hook a set I was terribly attracted to but I really got the chance to work on building attraction. Even looking back on my blogs from Tuesday/Wednesday, being able to do that is monumental…
My direct openers are pretty much rock solid at this point. Pretty much all the sets open, and I’m consistently able to convert hesitant reactions into conversations (hesitant reactions are also becoming pretty rare at this point). In fact, I now find myself liking getting pulled into a conversation by a wing less, because I don’t have the added plus-points/benefits of having gone direct. A couple months ago, the opposite was true, as getting pulled into a set meant instant conversation, and me not having to open :).
All in all good night. A big chunk of the block to success came tumbling down tonight.
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