Week 10 – Wednesday

Came down with a fever last night so stayed in. Hope I'll be in good enough shape for Chicago.

Week 10 – Monday/Tuesday

Spent Monday recovering and running errands. Went out to dinner with M, was good to catch up. When I go tto bed I literally fell asleep 2 minutes after my bed hit my pillow.

Went to Guys and Dolls on Tuesday with M. Made some strides with the SCM there, the main security guard who works at the door finally recognized me and we got into conversation. I jumped the yellow to green light when I told him I was in Austin for the weekend (going-forward principle!!!), because apparently he's from Texas as well. We got around to chatting about how Texas is different (friendlier, cheaper etc…) and overall a different hustle at the end of the day. Then some Asian girls walked by and we started talking about telling Asians apart (he's getting better at it…). Crossing my fingers, but having rapport with both him and the security guard behind the door should help a lot with my getting in on Tuesdays, though I've surprisingly never really been turned away yet. Don't want to jinx myself, but I don't think it'll be a problem getting in there anymore.

I think I've hit a breakthrough with the inner game digging I've been doing over the past couple weeks regarding approaching/energy levels/getting in state. How can I tell? Well, I would go around and open sets, and it wouldn't be a big adrenaline rush, nor was it a forced overcoming of anxiety. Instead, opening was just very neutral… a very normal, unexciting thing. I think this is perfect, it's exactly what I want it to be. I achieved this by priming the sets with the idea that none of this is very serious and I shouldn't take it seriously…opening and talking to girls really isn't that important. From there, the opening became just a normal thing, and I was able to plow through the initial few sets with ease, and land myself into the state of Indifference.

This is huge, and should really help with my progression. For the past few weeks, the thing that has been holding me back has been not opening consistently, or having opening be this big task requiring a lot of mental energy to go do (see my previous posts), where it should have been what it was last night… a neutral, unexciting, normal thing. Big inner game stride I need to keep hammering on.

The night itself was alright. I opened sets, but not as consistently as I think I would if M wasn't there, and got some green lights but didn't really connect with anyone. Here's a quick run-down:

Set 1: M talked to some Canadian girls and I came in… we lost at them at the bar, and when we saw them again, one of the girls was way too drunk. (yellow)

Set 2: Opened a girl at one of the tables. She opened green. It started logical, with talking about the store she was working at (they were at the venue for a grand opening party). I teased her about being a janitor there, it didn't hit, and I pursued it for a bit too long and it blew me out (green)

Set 3: Came back to the table at some point and talked to Set 2's friend. It started out as a warm approach (introduced by one of the guys we had met), and I did a series of cold reads. I must not have built enough rapport on each of them, because she jokingly said I was just laying it all out. After that the set went downhill. (green)

Set 4: Was by the table and pulled in a 2-set. Talked to one and M paired off the other. It was going good… I pointed her as being not from LA, she was from the OC. I asked her if she surfed… she does. We talked about long/short boarding, then about skiing, and I jumped into a role-play about brining her to Switzerland with me (should have taken it to marriage divorce). Her friend red-lighted and they got pulled away, but it was still an open-ended set, though I didn't seem them later in the night. (green)

Set 5: Mixed set outside (3 girls and 1 guy). Heard them talking about hookers and I came in situationally. Joked about how I wanted a hooker, but I had very specific tastes (I wanted a 250+ black woman… and not light-colored black… like Akon black). One of the girls turns to her friend and was like "omg he said akon black" and I was in. Started joking about all kinds of ridiculous shit, from drugs to racism, then they went inside for a drink. (yellow)

Set 6: Opened two girls that were walking by. They weren't having it, but I forced one of them into a high-5. Saw them a few minutes later, and opened them again, asking them if they were more friendly. She actually turned green and M took her and I split off into her friend (who was green). I disqualified myself as being gay, but I don't think I heightened it enough, and she actually thought I was maybe gay (which would blow me out later). Things were going okay, though there was no real rapport. (red) (green)

Saw her again later by the table and started escalating but at one point she was like "so.. are you actually gay?" I said no and she started telling me about how a couple years ago some guy pretended to be gay to hit on her. That was the end of that set… If I was smarter, I should have yes-anded her "are you actually gay questioned." If I was even smarter, I would have heightened even better in the beginning.

Set 7: Made eye contact with a really cute blonde by the bar, and weaved my way into her group telling her "You could at least say hi." She opened up a "hi" with a green light, but just as that was happening, I got tackled by my buddy Jayson, and I lost the set. (green)

Set 8: There was a girl by the bar, I made eye contact with her and opened her, and she introduced me to the birthday girl (who was incidentally Jayson's friend). I joked about it being her sweet 16, and I hung onto the joke too long, and waited to long to drop the line about driving her dad's mini-van (should have happened right away). The girls got pulled away, and she lost interest right about there. (yellow)

Set 9: Saw the girls from Set 5 on the dance floor and I opened up one of the girls who I hadn't spoken to earlier. Her friend blew out M, but the girl I was talking to was receptive. Her friends pulled them to the bathroom though and I lost her (damn logistics) (yellow)

Set 10: Went direct on a dime outside. She said thanks, and M came in shortly after, but they blew us out and went inside "we have to use the bathroom." I lingered too long after the direct opener without stacking forward, and M came in too soon. (red)

Set 11:Earlier in the night opened a group of Asian by their table, but they didn't really speak English and blew me out by saying they were waiting for their non-existant boyfriends (red)

Set 12: Tried to open a girl situational outside, but I didn't speak loud enough and she didn't hear me (red)

M actually pointed out something that I think is really useful for my outer game. I'm not loud enough on my opener. He pointed out that he noticed that a good portion of the sets would "what?" my opener. He's right, I need to come in louder on the opener… this is something I've not been doing and have been more or less unaware of… I thought it had always been because maybe I had been talking too fast. Time to really project on my opener. Should be an easy fix.

I noticed that I was losing a lot of the sets in attraction. The reason for this is I think it was too much spike spike spike and not enough normal rapport. This stood out when that one girl commented on how I was laying everything out (running a stack of cold-reads). I need to build back in more normal rapport and going-first into my conversations. The idea of giving investment to get investment in return. I'll give extra focus to this in my conversation blocks, and this should be an easy fix. Then after I get more normal rapport, I can start peppering in the attraction spikes.

Looking back, I actually opened a solid number of sets… they didn't last that long, so it didn't seem like that many at the time. I'm coming out of the night with 2 very distinct things (going-first, projecting on the opener) to work on though and 1 big accomplishment (inner game fix). Also, I liked the energy/state that I had… it wasn't super-power energy, but it was controlled and relaxed… unnervous.

Week 9 – Reflection

What did I learn?
- When I'm feeling right, everything I've learned comes out fuckin' perfectly (i.e. the set at Playhouse). I don't really have to think too much about it… if I can get my inner game sorted to where it always feels right, great game will just flow out
- See all the inner game realizations/strides in the previous post
- Don't take this seriously, don't treat opening like a big chore/task, have the idea of "I don't really give a fuck," it will replicate the feelings of abundance
- Clarified some really good points on Phone/Text game. Given the mindset of having the memory of a gold fish, always assuming it's on, and realizing that even the best have a lot of trouble getting turnover from cold approach numbers. Most importantly, clarified that it is not necessary to be always funny, and that the normal-normal-spike-normal-normal-spike model still holds true. It's very possible to be too gamey over text!!!
- Learned a lot about calibrating tension off the direct opener. If she's into it, keep the tension and strong sexualization… if she's a yellow light, break back into rapport and try to jump her into a green light
- Learned that Austin in a badass city :)
- Further cleaned up my style and inner game with regards to approaching
- Further realized how to just take a step back and to treat this more as fun instead of a serious job I need to do
- Solidified my understanding of qualification and comfort (especially qualification) via teaching
- Learned a new physical escalation technique (the bite)
- Additional emphasis placed on leading (physically)
- Reinforced the idea of giving investment during rapport (in set and via text)

Learning Tools for the Week:
- Braddock Austin Bootcamp

Meet Anyone New?
Nope.

Where/When Did I go Out?
Count – 5
Tuesday: Guys and Dolls
Wednesday: Hollywood
Thursday: Playhouse
Friday: Bootcamp in-field
Saturday: Bootcamp in-field

Things to different Week 10?
Take these inner game strides and apply them in the field!

I feel like I'm going into Week 10 with a refreshed perspective on game. My inner game got cleaned up, just by being around Braddock/Daxx, being in-field during the BC, and I solidified my understanding of things by having the opportunity to teach certain sections of the seminar. This breath of refreshment is something I really needed, especially after the slump I was in last week. I get the feeling things are going to start being more fun again.

I just have to remember not to take things too seriously! If I open and push sets, I'm usually happy, and from the way things are looking, things usually tend to start working out… I just can't second guess myself and let my nerves get to me.

Whoo!

I'm caught up with my blogs!!!! Suck it!

Week 9 - Sunday

Day 3 of the bootcamp was awesome. After the student debrief, Braddock asked me if I wanted to try teaching qualification. I went through the talk (it took about ~45+ minutes) and incorporated a melding of everything I've learned from everyone. I think I went well, and it seemed to really click with the students. Braddock must have thought it was alright, because after I concluded the section, he asked me if I wanted to teach comfort. I think comfort was thorough enough as well.

I noticed when I was teaching that I'd be drawing material I've learned from the various instructors I've been taught by. For instance, qualification was a fusion of what I'd learned in the sections from Mr. M, Future and Braddock's respective seminars. In essence, I took what I felt were the best pieces of each, and what helped me understand and internalize the concepts the best, and taught them as a consolidated section. It'll keep improving if I have more opportunities to teach, but I think I did the sections, and the students, justice.

Being able to teach on the fly, speak in front of a crowd, consolidate thoughts and everything else that went into a good presentation has been a culmination of the skill sets I've developed over the years (from speech and debate I high school, to studying for countless exams in college to teaching fellow students how to interview properly and land top-notch jobs coming out of college). It was a nice reminder that most things in life bank on overall life experiences and skill sets from other areas.

I definitely solidified my understanding of qualification and comfort from teaching it. I get the feeling that the theory really got set in cement. By teaching and presenting, I was able to open up a completely different set of neruo pathways, which really crystallized the compartmentalization and internalization of the concepts, and how they're laid out. I guess this was just the next step of fusing game into my DNA :).

Inner Game Strides

It's been a productive weekend… I made some unexpected strides over the course of the bootcamp. Following the trend, these breakthroughs haven't been in the mechanics of my outer game, but more so with regards to my inner game, subcommunications and deeper nuances.

Style: I further chiseled my personal style of game, and am pretty close to realizing what's going to work for me. I started out Saturday night with the idea of using the style mentioned in my previous post. That is, more steadfast and rapport based but with sexual intent (similar to what Mr. M uses). It was too low energy at the beginning, but as the night wore on, I fell more into the groove of where it should be. It helps to visualize the times where I've hit this groove, and to visualize what I've seen of Mr. M in set, as it's a model of what I'm going for. I guess the thing to realize is to not go too low energy (bad), and not into a ball of high-energy (i.e. Future, 5.0, Big Business), but a place where the energy is contained in my subcommunications.

Approaching: I picked up a couple mindsets that really helped getting into state (a.k.a. a state of Indifference). The first was Braddock's idea that he views the entire bar/club as his playground, and all the girls in there are just shiny toys. It has the mindset of "ooo, let's go play with that one.. oh, not so fun? Okay.. let's go play with that one." This really helped perpetuate the idea of not taking things too seriously. I've been trying to find a way to hammer this idea into my head, and I think this is it. Every time when I would go into a club and take things too seriously (i.e. I need to improve, this is important, I must get better), opening each girl becomes a monumental task of importance… something it shouldn't be. I really believe this is why it's been so difficult to start off my nights over the last few weeks… I've placed too much importance on the entire thing, taken things too seriously, and as a result, each set becomes almost a "task" that needs to be completed.

And thus, even if I do have a badass method of getting into state (see my Dichotomy of State Control article), the mental energy it takes to open those 5 sets, and to get to a state of Indifference, becomes extremely challenging. Taking on the idea that the bar/club is my playground primes the first 5 sets, as well as all the other sets of the night, and makes the entire approaching thing less serious, less scary, and less of a chore/task.

The second part I noticed from treating the bar/club like a playground was that I began taking on the mentality of "not caring." I would open sets casually in a laid-back manner, something that would match my style, and thus not throw myself into an initial, nervous, high-energy state. It was the idea of "meh, she's cute, why the fuck not… 'hey, you're absolutely fuckin' georgous, I'm Andrew.'" It's the conception that I'm not placing a lot of importance on the set, and that I don't really care too much how it goes. This in essence is replicating the same subcommunications of an abundance mentality.

This is a stark change from my previous mindset of "okay, there's a pretty girl, this is important… let's do everything right, apply all the theory properly, and not fuck it up." And thus, while there might not have been "approach anxiety," the set itself became something of a task/chore, and something that I felt more inclined to put off. In other words, the mental energy required to go up and open the set increased exponentially. It's similar to when I had to study for an exam back in college… I knew I had to study, I wasn't "scared" or studying, nor was there any "anxiety," but, because it was such a chore/task, there was a lot of inclination to keep putting it off… even if the exam was the next day. The mental energy required to get myself to go and actually start studying was big.

Continuing on this parallel, what is usually took for me to sit down and start studying was for the ticking clock to reach it's absolute breaking point. That is, I would really start studying at the point where I knew if I put it off anymore, that I just wouldn't have enough time to internalize all the material. That's what it took… the task/chore of studying required so much mental energy to begin doing that it took the threat of time pressure to finally overcome.

The same thing can be seen in my game over the past few weeks. While I didn't necessarily have approach anxiety, the mental energy required to open what I have compartmentalized as the "task/chore" of opening was very high. As a result, when given some leverage (i.e. Cajun wanting to see my cold approach, M pointing out a set, me telling a student I'm going to go open a set I point out etc…), I would go open no problem. However, when I was out by myself or with friends, without the additional leverage, I wouldn't gather the mental energy to go take the effort to open. This, coupled with my theory of the State Clock, would unnecessarily throw me into a state of Introversion.

This is starting to make sense. Another time that I would open regularly was when I took my visit back home and was walking around the venue with a friend, and passed a set, and just went "hey, fuck it, (open)." In those instances, it was a mixture of me wanting to show off a friend (emotional leverage), and my momentarily taking on the idea that I didn't care (though the underlining subtext was still the idea that the set was important, hence I would come in as a ball of energy).

So that's it, the reason why I've been having trouble opening consistently recently is because I've been treating each set too seriously, and the entire getting better thing too seriously. As a result, I'd turned the idea of opening a girl into a serious, important task, and as with all other tasks/chores, it became something that required a fair bit of mental energy to do. It wasn't approach anxiety at all, it was something completely different! The solution? Change the mindset (taking on the playground mindset + the "I don't really care" mentality) to change how the idea of opening a set is compartmentalized in my head.

This is cool, I think I'm going to write an article on this… I think it'll be particularly for the intermediate/advanced guys who are pursuing pick-up seriously. It provides an understanding of why even guys that are pretty good can get into a mode where it becomes difficult to open (and not because of anxiety).

Confidence: I also learned that I need to take confidence in my training and what I learned. A lot of the nervousness I get now when I'm in set comes from my second guessing myself and the knowledge I have in my head. I need to start being comfortable with the idea that I know what to do, that I'm the shit, and that I can just be comfortable and confident in set. It would be like when I was interviewing for jobs. In the interviews where I went in confident in my abilities, everything I had learned would fall nicely into place. However, in the interviews where I would second-guess my knowledge and abilities, I would find myself stumbling over simple shit that I really did know. If I go in, confident in my abilities, confident in what I know, and thus confident of the fact that I can have a good time with the girl I'm talking too, the nervousness and the second-guessing (and all the symptoms that come along with second-guessing) will go away. It'll be like the times where I've got into an interview completely confident in myself, or the debate rounds I've gone into where I'm confident in my abilities. I'm at a stage where I can start taking actual confidence in my abilities and what I do, without it being self-deceit.

There really is no reason for self doubt. I have nothing but Grade A knowledge in my head, and I've done everything right at some point… there's no reason to doubt.

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Yes, there are still a number of mechanical outer game issues to work on (aren't there always?). I get the funny feeling though that when all these inner game issues are sorted (when I hone in on my style, start opening consistently again, and take confidence in my knowledge/abilities), that my game will rocket ship to the next level.

Week 9 – Saturday

Saturday was the attraction portion of the seminar. This part was actually a lot more similar to the NYC segment, but with a few changes. In-field was cool, the students were a lot more inclined to open, and gave us a lot more leeway in opening our own sets. I was able to open 4-5, but stumbled on the one green light I got (verbal fart?). Was able to plow with some others though, and more importantly, was able to hammer in some subtle inner game things regarding approaching and style.

No real set work breaking down, by my next post will go over in-depth the inner game strides I was able to make throughout the night.