Future's Advice

Today was Day 1 of Future’s BC. Seminar was mainly review… The parts that stood out was the talk on Frame Control, which is Future’s portion on inner game, as well as the section covering the Physical Escalation of the emotional progression model. Here’s a quote I have highlighted, and written in purple in my notes:

“Do not presume boundaries, discover them! Being able to do this is PREMIERE skill. It is the essence of being confident. TAKE A CHANCE, and when it feels like you might not be able to get it, GO FOR IT. The boundary is waaayyy farther than you think.”

The most important part came during the in-field though…

At one point during the in-field, I actually had a really good talk with Future. It ended up being a discussion regarding the sometimes forgotten “human aspect,” which still exists in complement to the development game. Our talk boiled down to two main points:

The first was that when I get good at this (which he said was a matter of when, and not if), the issue isn’t whether or not I’ll get laid. It becomes almost an issue of whether or not I can sleep at night. He talked about how at the highest levels, game becomes a power, and with it, if I’m reckless, there is the very strong possibility of hurting other people. He mentioned how there is nothing worse than sleeping next to a woman, and feeling like a shell of a human being because you truly are not happy, and you truly don’t care for her. This human element – the caring for other people’s feelings – is apparently lost with many people as they get good. Moreover, it is not something that is thought alongside to the mechanics in many of the programs.

The second was a warning on not letting get ego and unrealistic personal expectations get in the way. He reiterated his first tenant of learning over and over again, which is: I WILL GET REJECTED. He said that it was soooo important, because once an instructor, it’s easy to get caught in the headspace of “I should be able to get her… I’m __________________________, how the FUCK did I not get her?” He talked about how there are nights where instructors go home all alone (not by choice), even though they might have better game than anyone at the club they were at. Given the human nature of game, EVERYONE will get rejected, and there is absolutely no way to shield against it. That is why it is so important to internalize that first tenant, more than anything else… doing so serves as a deterrent from psychological suicide.

Future mentioned the various reasons he was having this discussion with me, which I really appreciated. He touched on the point that he saw amazing potential, but with the potential (or because of it), he also saw the risk of turning into a manipulative social robot. He told me that I was intelligent, and he could see me getting really amazingly good at this. He also said he saw me as instructor material, and that if I stuck with the company, that I would go far. As a result, there was definitely the possibility of being molded into an instructor who recklessly only cared about the mechanics of what works (without giving two shits about the moral question if what works is “right”). He also saw the potential for, when the time comes, letting the ego get to my head and forgetting that I am a mortal, and that I will get rejected, no matter how good my game was.

Finally, he mentioned how I had an ability to perceive things, and that I was clearly intelligent and taking away particular lessons from each of the instructors I’ve learned under. We agreed the subtext of what each of the instructors teaches is vastly different. The human and morality element, in essence, is Future’s primary contribution to my training. Really, it has little to do with the mechanics of game, or what to do in x, y, or z situation, and more so to do with the bigger picture of everything, and the underlying deeper value/morality questions posed by the game.

I’m really thankful for the discussion… it’s one of the very few that I’ve had concerning the values/philosophies which underlie game, instead of the mere mechanics of developing it. In a sense, I feel honored that he viewed me in the light as someone for who it’d be worthwhile to have this conversation with. Moreover, having the reassurance of my ability to succeed from someone who’s been around, and is known to tell it like it is, is awesome. The conversation was hardly flowery though. For instance, Future also made it clear that he saw that I wasn’t normal, and that that, coupled with the intense exposure to game I’m getting, is also part of the risk of my becoming a mechanical social robot.

On a side note: The idea that I WILL ALWAYS GET REJECTED was drilled over and over during the discussion. It is something that will always be in the back of my head. Consequently, it is something that will likely help with approaching girls I want to approach and initial AA at the beginning of each night (an innocent by-product of a much deeper topic).