From the night game leads that I’ve been with, there seem to be a few core mindsets that the guys that are really good at have implemented to really inject in the “edginess” to their game.
- Masculine Core / Manhood (Mr. M & Braddock): Expressing your god-given right as a man to be shamelessly, and unapologetically, attracted to a woman.
- Not Giving a Shit (Cajun & Tenmagnet): Going after what you want and tapping into a part of you that just doesn’t give a shit. In essence, a bulldozer plowing through it’s path.
- Transparency & Connection (Future): Doing everything in your power to get to that deep connection with a girl, and being completely transparent about your feelings in the process.
The things I learned the most this weekend actually had very little to do with the theory/mechanics of Game, and more so with just being around people with helpful character traits (in some sense, a “learning through osmosis”). The theory in itself is pretty much fused into my natural thinking at this point (and will continue to hardwire over the next ~12 weeks). I’m finding that the ideas I’m drawing, with regards to girls, are coming from an internalized place now, instead of say a certain section of notes from a certain talk at a certain instructor’s bootcamp. This is awesome, I really need to own these thoughts/ideas in order for the knowledge to really become “sticky” and long-term.
So the gold from the weekend really just came from hanging out. From being around guys like Cajun and his cousin Mitch, I saw a true exemplification of what it’s really like to just not give a shit. They would do ridiculous things (i.e. booting a girl :), they would get blown out, really, really not care and keep moving. This mindset is really useful in two parts:
1.) The first part is for just opening/approaching, and my sense of being when in a club/bar/party. The idea should really be to approach as though it didn’t’ matter, to talk to girls with the rooted belief that whatever happens will be okay, and to not place any sense of urgency and/or importance for approaching any particular girl (or string of girls). It’s the idea of just going out, fucking around, doing crazy shit, opening for personal-amusement, and obviously, running solid game when the opportunity arises.
2.) The second part is to not care after the set is hooked. That is, to be perfectly willing to push the edge to get the results, even if it is at risk of dropping the set. It’s the idea of really not caring and being aggressive in escalation, intent and sexualization, as opposed to passively sitting back and then letting the set fizzle out anyway. Ironically, by being that aggressive, edgy guy who does not give a shit, the end-results/rewards actually increase.
On our cab ride home on Sunday, Cajun put it well, when he said that he literally, really, does not care if he loses the girl. He will push it with no remorse. When the girl he was with told him that they weren’t having sex, he told himself “okay, let’s just see how far I can escalate it,” and he did. When she said okay no more, he said alright, and we left. When he called up another girl in the cab, he was completely unapologetic about it. The mindset works so well.
But here’s the thing. As we talked, I noticed for him, the driving force behind not caring isn’t rooted in being tactical, gamey, or even in trying to be more masculine. For him, it literally was that, he loves sex, and he knows that girls like bad guys… they like assholes… and what he does works and serves the purpose of getting him laid. It’s not just a “useful belief”… it’s the fucking truth! So he brings out the part of him that is just that… brash, rough-edged, and generally someone who just doesn’t care.
Whether or not Cajun is actually evil is questionable =P, but he does have a side to him that he’s learned how to tap into, the side that women tend to really like, and it all stems from having the mindset that he just doesn’t care.
So I understand the idea/concepts. They’re all good, and deeply incorporating just one should be enough to get the “edge” my game is currently in need of. I’m going to play with trying to root the idea of “not giving a shit” over the next week to see where it goes. As with many things pick-up, I’m sure once I’m able to get one down, they’ll all the mindsets will start to overlap and integrate with each other.
I have the mechanics (things to say to add edge) and the mindset from where the mechanics are coming from (see above). Now it’s just a matter of adopting the mindset and consistently exercising the mechanics, and boom! Hopefully I’ll get the edge I’m missing.
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